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ok heres the story: i asked you out but you said no again. so i was like screw this. and it's not that i like that bitch but i was testing you to see if you really did still care about me since you wont fucken admit it! i dont know why since i still love you. through all the shit..the talking about other guys..the jake shit and chris shit. and even that jon guy fucken kissing you, you dont think that bothered me? i didnt want you to know because i just wanted you to be happy. ok . i do care about you and i thought you knew that. and since i thought you knew that, i thought that you'd come out and say that you cared about me too. and since you didt, i take it that you dont. so i let that bitch go all over me. i love you . i really do. but why dont you just say you love me too. i know thats what we both want. i know you better than you know yourself. and you know me better than i know myself. you know why i let her all over me. you know why i do the things i do. and it's all because i cant have you cuz you cant fucken admit that you still have feelings for me.
kurt.
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Kurt.
I do love you. I'll never stop! I don't think a person ever stops loving someone ever! No matter what that person did. So I do love you. And right now I'm crying because of what you wrote and I'm ironically listening to our song. I couldn't say yes to you because I was scared. I don't want to get hurt ever again! But now I'm realizing that I'm hurting myself more and hurting you along the way. And testing me...? You don't need to test me! You know how I feel about you whether I deny it or not! Remember how you told me to look you in the eyes and say that I didn't love you. Well, I couldn't. And you know exactly why I couldn't. So don't feel like you have to test me. I love you Kurtis William Yates. You mean everything to me. You showed me what love was but you also showed me my first heartbreak. I don't wan to hurt you anymore. But I don't want to hurt myself either. And I would change my answer to yes, but what happened today really hurt me. It really hurt me. Mostly because I heard you say one of OUR things to her. That killed me. But I still love you. More than anything.
♥ ALWAYS,
Maria
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