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Boy Troubles..I need advice!
My name is Chelsea, I'm a 16 year old girl. I know that I'm only a teenager, and I have my whole life in front of me...but right now I feel really lonely. My last relationship ended in October, just one week after my sweet sixteenth. It took a long time for me to get over him, but I'm starting to move on. I've been "playing the field", and I'm currently interested in a guy. We've had a thing for each other in the past, but I never wanted to make anything really official out of it. Recently, my feelings for him have changed. He felt the same about me, and we've been talking and hanging out alot more. This past weekend, we hung out and he kissed me. Everytime we see each other in school (which is often) he hugs me, and we walk/talk together. I'm really confused though, because I don't feel like he wants to make a commitment. I'm afraid to talk to him about this, because I don't want to scare him away. I feel like I've done that in the past with guys, when I bring up relationship and commitment issues. So how can I talk to him about making something more out of our relationship, without scaring him or being too "over the top"? Please help out, and give me your input. Thanks.
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Hey Chelsea, sorry for the delayed reply...lots of work to catch up on.
It's been my experience that it's better to let the guy express his emotions first (through SPEECH i mean!), instead of actually telling them that you really like them or want more out of a relationship.
Just a thought here:
If you DO talk to him about your feelings, and he does back off, then he's probably just not ready for that kind of commitment (like you said, you're 16).
To answer your question:
If you decide to talk to him, I would suggest being very open (even if you don't feel like it), and be TRUTHFUL. If you want this relationship to grow to a point of possible marriage in the future, then you need to be honest. I can't give you a script, but just be sensitive to the fact that you're still both young and have a long way to go before anything serious can happen.
One more thing...
If you DON'T decide to talk to him about this, just keep being a friend! Sometimes, especially during teen years (i know this...i am one!), it's best to just have really good friend relationships, with potential to get deeper someday.
You may also want to refrain from kissing or anything above a friendly hug...those are the kinds of things that leaves scars if somehow it doesn't work out.
I really hope I helped...I love to talk, so feel free IM me on aol at DreamerFaer if you have any further questions!
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