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I'm dying!!11 HELP!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
So like here is what you do if your life is threatened in the following situations:
you are bleeding to death - apply pressure to the wound, using as clean a material that you can find. Mentally, try to become sponge like so you can absorb some blood off of the floor back into you.
Your eyes randomly fell out and you are now falling off of a cliff - Welcome to screwed land, population: you. Take comfort in knowing you won't have to see the ground as you fall further to your certain doom.
Your arms and legs have fallen off and now your house is flooding and you are trapped - using your teeth, bite a table leg so that the table falls down to one side. Wiggle up onto the higher side of the table and hope for the best.
You are choking on something - Learn to eat properly damnit, the food isn't going to run off your plate and plot the destruction of the world. To solve this problem, find someone to give you the heimlech manuever or do so on yourself.
You have fallen off the ladder that you were using while painting your house and now the paint is teetering above your temporarily trapped self. Oh no! - Throw rocks at the paint can and hope that that somehow helps the situation. If the paint starts to fall, close your mouth and eyes! mmm chemicals.
I certainly hope this prolongs your life or at least ends it in some comical way.
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