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depression, self hate, cutting.. sorry its so long but there
Kassie(and anyone else), I've been feeling really down for about a year. I've gotten to the point where I pretty much hate myself, and I want to die. Everyone says I should talk about how I feel, but when I do they tell me to stop complaining, so then I don't tell people how I feel or what's on my mind. I've been cutting myself for almost a year now, and the nurse at my school found out one day and told my parents. They had me see some guy from a Teen Line type thing, and now I'm seeing a therapist. The therapist told my mom to take all the razors (which is what I use when I cut myself) out of my room. I gave her all but like ten of them, cause I couldn't bring myself to give it up. Don't get me wrong, I'm still trying to quit cutting, it's just that it's like therapt for me. It really does seem to help sometimes. The worst part about it is trying to hide it.. that can get kinda hard sometimes. Anyways, to the point: Cutting isn't doing much for me anymore. I can't seem to give it up, but it's just not enough anymore. I've gotten to the point where I've gone almost numb, but at times I can still feel more pain than I can take. Cutting used to relieve all that, but now it seems like everytime I cut I have to cut more and cut deeper. I don't know if you can help me with this, or if anyone can. Everyone thinks I'm happier than I was a little while ago, cause I force myself to act happy, but really it feels like I'm dying from the inside out.
Please help me. I'm sick of being numb, and when I do feel, feeling nothing but pain. It's killing me and I want out.. Help please. :'[
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wow.. i really can't help you to much.. its your job to get yourself to quit cutting.. i can't make you stop.. but i wish i could.. i don't know why you are feeling so badly that you need to cut yourself.. and really i don't think cutting yourself is the best way to handle it.. if you need someone to talk to about your problems i'm here.. i'll listen.. you can e-mail me at cheerchick526@earthlink.net or i/m me at WatUwerDreaminOf i won't tell you to stop complaining.. i'll listen.. thats why i made this site.. so if you ever need someone to talk to let me know.. i'm ready to listen..
i hope i helped..
Later Love,
xO*Kassie Krick
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