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humorist-workshop
So, I have a question. I'm a 24 year old woman and I've been dating a really great guy for almost two years now. The thing is, I get really jealous when he goes out and drinks with his friends. My last two ex's both cheated on me when they were drunk and I'm a little insecure about him drinking when I'm not around. I've tried talking to him about it, and he says he'd never cheat, but I still get jealous. I don't want to be some psycho who tells him what to do and who to hang out with. So how do I get over this?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Maybe I'm the wrong person to answer this, because I am a really jealous and untrusting person. I am going to do my best here though.
It makes perfect sense for you to feel that way, especially after having been cheated on twice in the same situation, but really - read your second sentence again. He is a really great guy and you've been together for 2 years, and I will just assume he hasn't cheated on you. So you need to ask yourself - is he similar to the two guys who cheated on you? Are there any signs that differentiate this guy from the others in your mind (other then the obvious things like appearance)? Why is this guy special enough for you to be risking getting hurt a third time? Because really, there must be something right.
So think about these things. Remind yourself that he is not them and even though its difficult - put some faith in something that by all odds, you neednt put faith in.
I would also consider talking to him about it again, and even remind him that if he ever really hurts you, you'll do something really horrible to him. Like, say, castrate him publicly! In closing (and I'm going to try and bring together the mishmash of confusing millions of things I've said here) I think that you have seen something extra special in this guy, because if there wasn't something special, you wouldn't be risking getting hurt again. So, because he is something special, you need to have faith (and yea, its so easy for me to say that because I'm not you, and I've been in a similar situation before, it isn't easy). Its true that if you try and control what he does - the relationship will cease to work properly, trying to control him will cause you to both hold secret grudges against each other and your freedoms will be limited by each other.
So - have some faith in him, as difficult as that may be. He's special right? And remember, any guy that hurts you deserves to be publicly castrated. (mwahahaha)
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