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Bloody mess
Hi. I noticed that you said you've been though depression before, and are a cutter, and I was wondering if you could give me advice ... anyways ... so i have a shitty family life ... my dad had an affair, neither of my parents likes to be around my brother or me, and my mom and me constantly fight. Well, today, I got in the car to go to my boyfriends house, and my parents started fighting ... I got of the car and I was just like, screw this, I'm not dealing with this ... and my dad got out of the car too and left in his own car ... blah blah blah ... anyways, I went inside the house and my mom followed me and blamed the whole fight on me. She said that the whole family (grandparents and whatever) saw me as a "fuck up" and things like that. And I just sat there and cried. I didn't say one word back to her, and usually I would scream right back at her and fight till the end ... but i just gave up ... I also suffer from depression, and extreme mood swings ... and they know this. I've been suffering from depression for 2 years now, and it started with the cutting, and I stopped that, then pills, then I got better .... that is when I met my boyfriend, Devin ... and I've been so happy. But then today happened and I cut myself again. He later on called and asked where I was and I told him what happened. He knew I was suicidal before and knew I was thinking of it (I admitted it to him) and he made me promise him I wouldn't do anything stupid ... I didn't tell him that I cut myself (I did it before the promise) Well, earlier this evening I called him up, crying, and told him that I did something stupid ... and I told him I'd rather tell him in person then on the phone ... so tomorrow night I'm going to his house ... how should I put it. He knows about everything else except the cutting ... sorry this is so long. ttyl.
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Hey hun,
I know how scary it is to have to tell someone you love about what happened. It's scary to not know how they may react to what you have done to yourself. First of all, make sure he's sitting and make sure you have his full attention. Before tomorrow, you may also want to write down everything you are feeling and what exactly you want to tell him.
Anyways...first let him know how much you care about him and thats why you are going to tell him about what happened. Then let him know that this all happened before you talked to him and promised you wouldnt do anything stupid and that you wanted to tell him what had happened before, but you didn't know how to put it and didn;t think it was a good time. Then gradually tell him how you've been depressed for two years now, that you are scared and do not know how to deal with all the pain you've been going through. Tell him how horrible you feel in your home all the time, how you feel as though you can never escape from the fighting and feel trapped. Then let him know you cut yourself yesterday, that you were so upset and depressed that you didnt even really think and thats how you dealt with the pain. Let him know that you don't want to worry him, that you don't want to lose him or anything, you just wanted to let him know what had happened, you don't want to keep anything from him.
I know it'll be hard...but if you cannot say it...write him a note and let him read it when you go over tomorrow. And from what described...it sounds as though you may have bipolar or severe depression...i was and still am really depressed and had and still do have major mood swings..and it turns out im bipolar. I know how scary it is to not know whats going on and why nothing seems to get better no matter how hard you try...but you may want to go see someone, talk to someone who can help you. I know, i didnt want to go to someone either, but it can really help. Good luck hun! Hope I helped :) Let me know how its goes and everything...and if you EVER need to talk to anyone...you can email me at InDreams87@hotmail.com or IM me DevilsHalo03.
Hope everything goes well sweetie!
*FallenAngel*
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