You told me that you lay on your bed. I sit outside at night. That seems to work, and Job's friend Elihu reminds me that whatever is imperfect about my life, I still have much more than I deserve. I understand that this is a time for repentance about my attitude, but it doesn't change. I still long for what God has not granted, and am not thankful for what He has so graciously given. Help!
Perhaps God is working on patience as well. That is always a hard one. Judging from your statement, my understanding is that you are looking for a clean heart. Pray Psalm 51:10-12 with everything you got. Wrestle with God until He gives you what you're asking for. It may take a moment or it may take a while, but don't give up. Cling to Him.
The Lord has promised you His forgiveness. He says in His Word that He will never leave you or forsake you. He has promised you His love and His faithfulness. Do you believe Him?
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