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I'm going to jail
Last summer, I (F/20) decided to go solo camping on some abandoned farmland just outside the city limits. There was a burn ban in effect, but I chose to make a campfire anyway. Long story short, it grew out of control and spread onto a neighboring farm, severely damaging a barn and the equipment inside it.
I was charged with reckless burning (a felony), pled guilty, and have been sentenced to nine months in the county jail. The judge was gracious enough to give me two weeks to get my affairs in order before I self-surrender. I now have ten days left.
I definitely played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. I wish more than anything that I could go back and stop that night from ever happening. But I know that's impossible and that I'll have to deal with the consequences of my stupidity.
I had been thinking of joining the military, but now that can never happen and I don't really have any other ambitions. I feel like I've destroyed my entire life and have no idea where I'll go from here. If anyone has any advice for a situation like this, I'm all ears cause I feel so lost right now.
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By now, you will have already been incarcerated, so I don't know if you will receive this answer or not. You made an error in judgement and now must pay the piper. But do not believe you have "destroyed my entire life". Not so. What you can do is learn from your mistake and move on. Though one door (military) is now closed to you, many others remain open. The problem seems to be more that you are adrift without direction, ambition or a goal. You will have lots of time, now, to think and plan ahead. If there are any counseling or training programs available while you're in jail, take advantage of them. And when you are free again, go to school or get into some kind of training program. If you are a full time student, and you can do this relatively cheaply at a local junior college, career testing and counseling will be available to you at little or no cost. You need to find a direction and this may help guide you in a direction that will open doors for you. You should also explore whatever you might be able to do to expunge your arrenst and imprisonment record, if possible. The good news is that you have your whole life ahead of you, assuming you are of a young age, with time to find direction and purpose. Good luck and good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
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My only suggestion is to try different careers. I know a guy who went to college for a particular degree and in a year, decided he didn't like it so next Thanksgiving he was in school for another subject but didn't stop there. He tried around 5 different times til he found something he like or could stand enough to do daily. You could do that, its expensive with wasted classes often. Or a less expensive route is going through a trade school.
Before you make any decisions from now on until your late twenties, it is best you picture yourself asking Mom or Dad if something is a good idea. This is important for young adults who have not reached their mid twenties yet. If another adult in your minds eye would say No and explain why, then it is best to see it from their view point. If you had told Mom you wanted to go camping by yourself and make a campfire even with a burn ban, things may not have turned out like this. The thing is to learn from our mistakes. If you think all you've learned is to not ignore a burn ban, then you may not have learned enough and may make a dumb decision again. I know you are not a teen but here's an article that explains how the brain can't be relied on to make the best decisions yet, at least until 25 or 26, maybe even later for some. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
When an adult makes a decision, they make the best one they know how and even then, we sometimes find out it wasn't the best one. I hope you have learned that it is important when your frontal lobe of brain isn't working yet, to bounce your ideas off another person, not your age but someone much older is best. If you can do this maybe with a couple people, get their view on something you want to do, they can help you in making the best decisions now. Its like borrowing someones brain until yours is done growing.
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