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humorist-workshop
The outside world just feels bad
20/M
I'm a pretty social person. In the sens I feel comfortable with people and with large groups.
However something frets me a bit. I don't like going out. Oftentime when I go out I'm just thinking how much I'd like to be home where I do everything I want to and daydream as much as I want.
And this is pretty confusing because this is not by spending your days home you live life right ? You end up getting stuck in a rut maybe ?
And I've been trying to force myself to stay a bit longer each time. But I generally end up feeling burned out even more. And just like I don't fit in and that it's just not for me. From the outside nobody sees that of course but this can be pretty draining.
Do you think I should try even harder and that there is some kind of breaking point I'm gonna pass ? Or should I do how I feel and stop trying so hard ?
English is not my first langage btw sry if there are some mistakes
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
1. Talk to someone you trust about what you are feeling, like a friend or your family, since this that will help you to find the specific problem, or identify your feelings or emotions about your situation, thinking too about some good solutions for you.
2. Go to therapy and talk to someone professional about your situation specifically and check if these situations occur in another context. Actually, there are types of anxiety or fears, or features of the personality that can explain this situation or will permit you understand that what happen in the social situations.
3. Do more of what you like, such as being at home if this makes you feel good, trying don’t thinking about if this it’s normal o no, because there are no standards that determine whether a person must or has to be a specific way socially, this is part of individual differences. Just think about whether this is important to you and brings you well-being.
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Couldnt tell it wasn't your first language since you wrote clearly and well. I get lots of questions that are jumbled and unclear so no worry there.
I have studied the basics of 4 personality types from which the more extensive lists of Myer Briggs 16 types have also been taught. So I can see some basics with you being social and at same time not like going out that make it confusing. I may be wrong but your unique personality may be at the core of what you feel. The social types are two, one being very outgoing and called a Promoter. The second one is called a Supporter. I took a weekend class where the teacher split the room into 4 sections, described the basic traits and since I am social, I went to promoter circle only to find when the others shared that they were more comfortable and got energized by being with others like them, very bouncy, full of energy, excited and outgoing. This was not me, at that time, which was almost 40 yrs ago. It was a bit overwhelming for me so I checked out the others and although these people were also outgoing and friendly, they were more subdued and quieter. The type of people here who would not necessarily make the first move or say the first thing but enjoy the company of the others. It may be you are the Supporter type wheres Promoters are needed to get the group conversation started sometimes, you may be in a group of almost all Promoter types. It is easy to be drawn to want to be with them but they can burn you out fast if you are not just like them. In the years to come, I changed and became the Promoter. Not all people change. So don't be hard on yourself. In case you wonder, the other two groups were the smallest, the Controllers who basically can't stand the quieter Supporters. Lastly the Analyzers who are the quiet type, book worm types, and loners who are introverted. You will only stress yourself by trying to change your personality. Learn to accept who you are and start studying the personalities of those around you. Search out and try friendships with more social but quieter supporter types and this may help. If not, there's always the counselor route.
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You sound pretty hard on yourself. Try to relax about it, the issue isn't a huge one. And your timing isn't good for expanding your social life anyway, because of the pandemic. Have patience. No one "fits in" everywhere, so try to accept yourself as you are, and become more confortable with yourself. Sooner or later, you will find more , others who are more like yourself, and you'll be fine, I think. Good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
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This sounds like an anxiety problem and perhaps agoraphobia. That's the fear of people, crowds or situations in which you feel difficulty or no control over or how to leave. You'll often never leave the house because of it. That may be your issue and has only recently cropped up.
What you need to do now is see your doctor. Describe to them what you did here and see what ideas and solutions they come up with. This isn't normal behaviour and cause for some concern and to be looked out.
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