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Fear of death
I am terrified of dying. I don't believe in after life or second Life. I think we only have one life. Whenever I think about it I think one life is way too short. I know it's stupid but I keep hoping there will be some invention which will make us live much much longer. I am 22 and am so lucky that I have not experienced of death of anyone near me but I am scared of it so much. Specially my parents I know it's inevitable but it terrifies me. I have to go out of my way to keep busy to avoid thinking about it cause whenever I do my heart starts racing really fast, my chest starts to feel heavy like something heavy is weighing me down and my thoughts start racing and I can't stop it. Is there any way to ease this fear"
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When you are 22-years-old you shouldn't be thinking or consumed with death or people around you dying. This fear comes from somewhere be it a repressed memory or something you have experienced and suddenly that's taken center stage. If you can pinpoint the real reason behind the constant fear you can push it aside. You need to talk to someone about it perhaps a therapist.
It's easy to be scared of the unknown or what seems final. I like to look at death like this. Picture a globe and a sailing ship on the ocean approaching the horizon line. The ship suddenly goes over the horizon and you can't see it anymore. Where did it go? It didn't fall off the edge of the world but your eyes couldn't see it anymore.
That's what death is like to me. I believe there is something more to be experienced. Science is even questionining it because enough people who have had near death experiences all seem to experience the same warmth, light and instructions before coming back. They can't all be discredited.
When people have surgery or an emergency where they are put under and or die on table to come back where do they go during that time? The fact is being afraid of death to the point it makes you sick or really anxious is bad.
You do have the right approach about life to assume it's all you have to work with and to fill it with all you can or acheive and learn all you can. That's all anyone can do. You need to talk to someone about your fears so it's not something you're totally consumed with or suffering panic attacks over.
Is there something in your own life that has you thinking you or others could die? That's probably at the heart of the fear and the panic attack feelings you've been having. Maybe you're unesy over something that's happened with yourself or others.
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There are two reasons that I can see causing you to feel this fear of death. The first is your beliefs. You know as well as I do that some things take a blind faith because in fact, none of us can recall past lives if that is true, we don't have people coming back from the dead so we have real life experiences. Sure, there are plenty of books written of peoples experiences, remembering a past life while they were yet children, or a story of someone who died but Drs were able to resusitate and during the fleeting time they were gone, they insist they saw God or loved ones who'd passed on. But there is room for doubt because it is not our own personal experience. We can only make a choice based on whatever evidence there is. Perhaps there is too much doubt for you, unknowing for sure and that is why you have this fear.
Next, once a fear, any fear enters your mind, your subconscious mind will take whatever you think while awake, whatever you experience and look for patterns of what you like the most. Unfortunately, our subconsciious minds erroneously think that the amount of time spent thinking of death means it is something you like so your SM (subconscious mind) will bring up the thoughts all the time, every couple of minutes even. You see this happen in break ups where the one who did not want a break up is missing the person and can't stop thinking of them so they are never in a place of being ready to move on with their life and find someone else.
It is not my place to tell you what to believe. I will say that I do believe there is a life after death, there is a Heaven, and to me Hell is debateable. I have heard in one book that God doesn't send people there, they just end up there because they don't feel worth of going to heaven. I have read books of people, several different occurances, of dying and being revivied and the stories they tell. Those stories give me hope. I would rather believe in a loving God and creator, a home in heaven someday and the possibility that I might choose to be born once more, reincarnated to have another chance to work on another part of my being, my soul. I don't think we'd be Christ like enough after one life trying to get it right. Of course I realize it could be a cruel joke and there is nothing after and I cease to exist in any way after I die and my body is buried. But it is the other stories that give me peace so I live for now not fearing death and then if I was wrong, I won't even know it if I dont exist anymore. I can't make you change your mind. I don't believe the same as Christians, or pagans and that is for each of us to feel the freedom to explore. Most of what I believe now I didn't at your age. Yes, I went to church but that story I was never okay with either. I was so in disbelief of reincarnation for example which traditional Christian religions believe that I was not about to change my mind. During prayer a thought popped into my head, "Would you believe me if I told you reincarnation was real?" It felt like a rug being pulled from under my feet. I was pretty sure that was God speaking in my head as I do not have daily experiences of odd thoughts popping in. Once I read up on and explored what I could, I found I did believe it and that most the things in the Christian faith that made no sense or portrayed God to be wrathful and hard nosed and then all of a sudden loving again. Thats like God being bi-polar. All I can help with in a way of easing this for you is tell you to treat your SM like another person. If a person were talking over and over about something you don't like, you tell them please to change the subject or you are not interested in hearing or thinking about that. You must do the same for your SM. I did that after being told my sweetie was going back to his ex. The only way to get over the pain, the fear and all was to stop thinking about it. My SM didn't get the message he wasn't in my life anymore. I actually had to take the time to tell myself mentally (which is like speaking to your SM)_ that we were no l onger together with no chance of getting back together and I do not want her (the SM) bringing up the subject of him ever again. That works for a few minutes and like a bad habit it has to break the SM keeps bringing up the thoughts, in your case of death. So you again patiently remind your SM what you no longer want to hear about or think about death. Next you'll find you can go an hour without these thoughts but again the SM forgets. At the end of the first day, you'll be mentally worn out from what feels like a failing excercise but trust me if you keep it up, by end of the second or third day, you should notice a difference. If you choose to keep your options open as far as what death and afterlife is about if it exists at all, I encourage you to read things you may not have before for whatever reason and then make your decision once you've heard all there is to hear on the subject and perhaps you will decide to change your beliefs to one that isn't as terrifying for you, just in case
you are right and I am not. I'd rather err on the side of caution.
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