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Gifting for my daughter
My daughter is 28 and will be married a year on December 21
She told me that she doesn’t want anything for Christmas from me. Just to save my money
As her mom i want to send her something
Already purchased pajamas and chocolates
Would i be wrong to send these?
Should I honor her wishes?
Please advise
Thank you and Happy Holidays
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Gift Giving?
If you really want to send her gifts it's your choice she shouldn't be mad just because you brought her something. You're not obliged to do whatever your daughter says as you can make your own decisions. Happy holidays.
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When a person asks that a person not get them any gifts whether birthday, Christmas or any other reason, this usually means that the person asking feels they have all their basic needs and go not want to collect more than they need and live a minimalistic life or they can't afford to give you one and if you give them one, they now feel obligated to get you a late one or their emotions feel bad and lastly the person believes it may be a hardship on the person wanting to give. My family no longer puts Christmas purchases on credit cards. Christmas has been tight for all, my daughters, sisters, and so on. No one has any extra money and no prospects of a large amount soon. We do not buy fancy gifts, they are a box of cookies, homemade stuff and even second hand store finds. And besides, most of us don't really need anything. One year, my sis needed something to put her legs up per doctors orders and nothing she had was the right height. Someone gave me a stool-hassock item and I got a decorative pillow to place on top and gave it to my sister for Christmas as it was an actual need.
I am sure your daughter doesn't need chocolates and she may or may not need pajama's. So if its not a need you are filling, then just feeling out of sorts because you can't give a gift for the sake of giving, you may want to study the next thing I will say.
There is something called the 5 Love Languages. And as you may suspect, this has to do with how a person communicates love to others or recognizes love from others. There are few love languages. It was originally written by Christian writer Gary Chapman in 1995 and quickly became so popular as nothing else addressed this issue that others have taken the information and use and present it all the time.. One of these love languages is giving of gifts. We tend to show the kind of love that we actually want to recieve but the problem lies in a person who wants to give gifts when the person they are targeting is someone who recognizes love through acts of kindness or words of affirmation. There are on line tests for this. You may have this overwhelming need inside you to give if it is bothering you so much that you ask if it would be wrong to give gifts. Maybe you like receiving gifts so it will be hard on you. I would say to spend some time discovering what this daughters gift is as well as those of others and not to mention yourself. I have two sisters who love to give gifts. So look up the Five Love Languages by Gary CHapman, get the book, check if your library has it or just do the tests on line
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