Member Since: December 27, 2018
Answers: 15
Last Update: April 14, 2021
Visitors: 1315
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I'm 27/f. I feel like my boss is nit-picking at everything I do. I started working at a store about a month ago, and this is not my first job in retail. I worked in another store for about 5 years, and then I took some time off when I had a baby. Then right after that the pandemic hit, and I wasn't able to return to my old job. It took a while to find a new job, and I'm grateful that I did. But I noticed that my boss is especially hard on me because he said I have a lot of experience. For example, some of the other workers still don't know where some of the products are even though they've been working there for years, but yet he yelled at me just after one week because I couldn't find something. I tried not to take it personally, but then one day he yelled at me in front of my co-workers and the customers just because I asked him a question about the register. It was embarrassing and I really don't think I deserved that. I've been out of work for two years so I'm doing my best, and the register here is very different from what I'm used to. When I asked about my performance he said that I'm doing very well and he has no problem with me, but then if I make one little mistake he gets an attitude and makes me feel like I'm stupid. I wasn't sure if he realized he was doing this, so I told him that the way he talks to me sometimes sounds very harsh, and that I'm doing my best to learn things as fast as I can. He said I'm being too sensitive and that if I don't like it I can leave. I don't know what to do. It seems like he has two personalities sometimes. I'm starting to dread going to work because I'm worried that I might do something wrong again. I feel anxious and I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights. Should I quit and try to find another job? (link)
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You deserve better than this. If he isn't being compassionate even when you're explaining it to him then he's probably being harsh to you on purpose because if he was doing that without realising he would have apologised when you told him. Maybe you should try give it another couple of weeks to see if anything improves and if not search for another job while staying in your current one until you get given another role. You could probably start that process now actually as clearly it's affecting your mental health. I hope things get better for you.
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I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm from India. I have been talking to a girl since a month and a half. We like each other but we want to meet to make sure if we want to be totally serious and date. So should go for a kiss on our first date itself or not? If it's a yes, then how should I go for it? If it's a no, then how do I deal with it? I don't want to force her though. I need your advice on this one. (link)
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In my opinion you shouldn't take that risk because she might think you're moving too fast as you aren't a couple yet and you could easily sabotage everything at an early stage especially if this is an uncommon thing to do on a first date in India.
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in a heterosexual relationship. Just discovered my husband of 30 years is viewing gay porn for hours every morning on his laptop. Should I be worried? Should I confront him about this? (link)
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Remember there's a reason for everything. Maybe he's secretly bisexual. I think you should have a conversation with him about it so that you get an understanding of his mindset.
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Ok so I am 30 years old and I have been talking to this 41 year old guy that I met on plenty of fish. We have only been talking a little over 2 months . He has already met my mom and stepdad . He is a really good guy. The problem is my mom told my aunt and cousin about him and now they are saying they want to meet him already. I think 2 months is a little to soon for him to meet my whole family. U want to take things slow and not rush into anything. Is 2 months to soon for him to meet them . How will I know when the time is right ? Thank you. (link)
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In terms of how you will know when the time is right I think it all depends on whether or not you're in a relationship with him first or whether you're still just talking and looking towards a relationship. I think if you're in a relationship with him then it's normal for your family to want to meet him but just make sure he's fine with it first.
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Hi so I am 20 years old and I am a university student currently. I met a guy in July 2019. He was working in a small market and i had went in their with a family friend because she wanted to make a complaint about something she had bought there. While she was there she was "quarreling" with this guy who seemed really confused about what she was saying, then a guy stepped in and saved the poor guy who apparently didnt speak English. I had guessed that and while observing his desire to try to understand the problem even after his coworker stepped in to help him I wanted to talk to him. So after that day i kept visiting the market with this note i had written. For about 4 days i did this but every time i went it was close. Then i finally saw him and gave it to him. A friendship developed after this ... we talked on the phone so i can help him with English and i would meet him after work and on some days i would stop by his work to say hi ( that is when i dont have wifi ). Well one night we went to a talk and then after it finished we walked a bit and he asked to hold my hand and we held hands and he was smiling ... after this occasion and the time i showed up on his work and kept blushing i realized that he had feelings for me and well i did for him.That night i kissed him and it meant a lot to me because i had never kissed anyone before i have been kissed but it was unexpected kisses from guys that were not my boyfriend or anything ( just guys who had liked me and kissed me without permission).Hence i promised myself that i wont kiss anyone until i found someone i had strong feeling for or that i loved and i had found that guy.A few months before i met this guy i had dreamed of actually kissing the one i loved and it felt the same. I could of tell that he felt the same that night . In the morning he said he was surprised that i did that ( i guess because throughout the night when he kept watching me and getting closer i moved away out of fear).Fast forwarding he wanted to see me again and we kissed again this time long. Unfortunately things went downhill from this i had allow my feelings to suppress the problems we knew we had ... he is a smoker and i cant be with a guy that smokes especially since he has health issues.I grew up with a brother who smokes and life was hell and i hate the smell of cigarettes. Also I want to have sex after marriage and well he wouldnt want to wait.. he actually would say that we are different and that he thinks this is not going to end well. He called it off once and then asked for me back but i said no. Then he called for a favor and i met him to help him and of course we kissed again. This time i called it off and within a few weeks he had a new gf . I nly knew this when i realized his whatsapp post where in Spanish about some girl and usually they were in English ..Then i posted a pic of me and he messaged me but i ignored it ... then he posted pics of his girlfriend. About two weeks after he started texting me again then one day i was walking and i saw him and feeling came back and i stooped and said hi ... when i got home he messaged me and ask if we can go out or hang out at my home ... i said i am not sure but i would let him know when my classes finish... After thinking about it i told myself that it is best i dont as we keep going back and forth . the thing is yes we both know we shouldnt and as my friend said he is treating me as a choice because spmething happened between him and his gf so he wants to get back with me and he denies having a gf a few weeks ago. It is hard for me because as i said he was everything i wanted but we wont work because our lifestyles( i have not listed the full details just know it is a lot) are different.Part of me tells me he is just 21 and that he will mature. But another part tells me to move on ...I have reasons to because i think that probably for him it is not love since the last guy i had he compromised for me and up to this day he still said that is is grateful for help in helping him since he felt that his life is better. But i know i cant compare them like this ...Also i have reputation of keeping in contact with persons that i have promised to be there for and he is one like my other ex that i talk to. The day the current guy called me and asked for a favor was the first time he needed anything for me and he called because i told him that he can always call me but when we meet feelings arises... His dad also wants us together and this is first guy that my mum doesnt have an issue with ...it kills me but i dont know what to do ... I feel like avoiding him in person and wait to see if me would meet again but under better circumstances... Thanks for reading all this I hope it is clear ...I started to cried mid way and my thoughts were all over :/ (link)
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I would recommend you just ask to meet him and discuss everything you've said here. If you both truly want to be together then you can both work on the problems that you have. Also it's important to remember that people are replaceable. These days some people seem to think you meet one person and will never find anyone as good but it's not true there's plenty of people on this earth and you can find love more than once. Time heals everything you just got to be able to let go and move on.
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My daughter is 28 and will be married a year on December 21
She told me that she doesn’t want anything for Christmas from me. Just to save my money
As her mom i want to send her something
Already purchased pajamas and chocolates
Would i be wrong to send these?
Should I honor her wishes?
Please advise
Thank you and Happy Holidays (link)
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If you really want to send her gifts it's your choice she shouldn't be mad just because you brought her something. You're not obliged to do whatever your daughter says as you can make your own decisions. Happy holidays.
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I am a 27 year old adult with Asperger's syndrome and I love to collect plush toys. It is one thing that makes me really happy and gives me a lot of comfort. Problem is because of my age, my parents don't see it that way. I try to explain that doing so makes me happy but they still say that collecting plush toys is out of age for me and should look into collecting something more age appropriate. I am sure that I am not the only adult that does this and I do want to expand my collection. So, my question is this normal and what should I do? (link)
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If it makes you happy you shouldn't let your parents decide what you can or can't do. It's your choice you aren't harming anyone or doing anything illegal so there's nothing wrong with it in my opinion.
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40/m, USA. There's this old white guy that always stares at me (I'm not white) when I get anywhere within eyeshot of his house. If I do happen to walk by his house, he just stands there and stares at me the whole time. When he sees me and I'm not on his block, he will follow me in his car real slowly. Then drive fast, after going past me, then he'll wait at the end of the street and not proceed unless I change course. Then come right back. I also think he took a shirt of mine that was in my car once when I was parked in his favorite parking spot. I'm guessing he's gonna try to frame me with it, that I broke into his house or something and my shirt is proof or any hair that might be in the shirt, as proof that I was in there. I walk a lot, and a lot of times he sees me, he will follow me. Sometimes he'll just go in circles to keep an eye on me. One time I was parked in his favorite spot for 2 days and he said he would call the cops or have my car towed for the 3 day rule. He thinks he owns that spot apparently. He has it out for me, I haven't done anything to him or his stuff. But he keeps an eye on me like I'm gonna do something. What should I do? This is a primarily non-white area. I was thinking about talking to him, asking him to stop or I'll tell all his neighbors he's racist. But I dunno if that's a good idea. Race is the only reason I can think of for his behavior. I think I'm just gonna film him when he's following me. But any help would be appreciated. Thanks. (link)
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I would recommend that you go to the police and report him, this stuff you're describing isn't normal and something needs to be done about it to avoid anything potentially bad happening to you.
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Okay, I'm in a master program in Scotland for physical therapy and there is this guy lets call him Wayne from Canada. Wayne and I didn't not talk much at the beginning of the year and then we got super close during a class trip in May. Since that trip we just clicked and connected and have been flirting with each other. Then one night have after our neuro final we all went out as a class (I drank a little too much😜) and that whole night he was all over me (dancing, drinking, close touching) and he even walked me home (interlacing hands the whole way) and he lives on the other side of town. Then I went on clinical placement, he went out of town for it and he came back to town and we all went out for a drink. That night, same thing, we talk in each's other personal space, I thought we were going to kiss. Then we went back to clinical placement and we snap chatted here and there. Then my girlfriends and I were planning a trip to Paris this November and Disneyland Paris and Wayne and his friend asked to join us. I said yes, whatever. Before this he asked me if I wanted to go Lyon in France to visit his friend and I said yes (I've been to Paris 3x, don't need to see the sights again). So the two of us go to Lyon, spend 2 hours on the train talking and flirting. We get to LYon, meet his friend, she's lovely, we all have a great time. So that night he and I share a sofa bed. And we spend literally 4 hours talking about everything and anything and eventually we kinda hooked up. Next day, we are completely fine, enjoy Lyon, but don't talk about us hooking up. Then we take a 2 hour trip back to Paris and were fine, talked the whole way. Then I tell my girlfriends all about it and we all agree for me to ask him out, like whatever, all the signs are there I guess. So we get to Disneyland (probably not the best idea) but I ask him and he says yes and no and does not want to mess our friendship? So then it was awkward. So I tell my girlfriends and they said maybe he is scared and whatever. So we get back to Scotland and I had a friend visiting from home and we all went out for drinks. And she's sees our chemistry too. So I texted Wayne, that I understood what he meant by no, but what was yes. He replies we'd talk once my friend went home. So my lovely friend Anna flies back to new york and Wayne texts if I still wanted to talk. I said yes. MOST POINTLESS CONVERSATION. Since he didn't even answer my question. He said we would work better as friends, and it would be awkward if we dated. I was okay but how? (mentally, I didn't say it out loud). So I just left it whatever. So my roommate and I hosted a Christmas dinner for our whole class and Wayne is there. So I'm fine with us being friends but I just need a little space between us, cuz my feelings won't disappear over night and I made it pretty obvious that I need space between us. Wayne proceeds to look at me all night, (as I see him at the corner of eye), ask me over to his place for a pizza night and today at trampoline (I'm on the team), joins the trampoline team and just wants to talk to me and my feelings about everything and proceeds to look at me and when I look at him, looks away. My girlfriends think its because I'm not Jewish (he is Jewish and his parents are adamant that he be with girl that is Jewish) and he scared cuz of something that might have happened before relationship wise. And thinks hat Wayne's next gf he is with, he wants its be end game. But what makes him think I don't want?!
Like this is not fair. I feel all these assumptions have been placed on me and I've honest with him on how I feel. It's like he is too chicken to tell me how he really feels but acts like this. Its messing with my head since I'm trying my best to move on and get to the point where we can be friends but he really isn't really making this easy with these mixed signals. HELP! (link)
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You really need a convo with him to explain everything you've said here just be bold with him and tell him how you feel and what you don't understand. If it goes wrong then you can both just be friends you've got nothing to lose plus it can be closure for you to be able to move on. If he knows how much you like him it could change everything in a positive way.
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18/F
So I recently started working at this shop. There are 5 other people that work there (different shifts) and I'm the youngest. I've worked a few times with the one girl (27 years old) and I didn't really like her that much because she was rude to my other friend that works there. Over the past few days of working together she's become better and I've been talking to her but yesterday she had a panic attack at work because she saw this guy and she ended up telling me he raped her when she was younger. I had gone through sexual abuse for 4 years so apart of me felt like we related a lot and now I really want to be friends with her. How do I start a friendship with her since she's 9 years older than me? I know for her she might not want to be friends because of the age difference. She talks to me a lot at work. I messaged her yesterday saying she can talk to me about it if she ever needs to and she said thanks and left it at that. (link)
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Your age isn't really going to matter as you're old enough to work so just keep having conversations with her regularly and a friendship between you both will likely happen on it's own. One day once you're both comfortable with each other you could ask if she wants to hangout with you outside of work
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My boyfriend wants me to introduce myself to his mother while his in Dubai. I have no idea what and how. Advice please. (link)
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It seems quite strange to introduce yourself to his mother while he's away especially as she doesn't know who you are so I'd be asking him this question if I was you
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My mother gets angry very easily, and yells and screams at me and my younger brother almost every day, although it is more often at me. I did do something wrong, but it is often very trivial (or at least I think so), like me leaving my sweater on the floor and forgetting to pick it up. She often says derogatory things to me, things like, "You don't deserve this", or "When you grow up, you'll become a stupid, useless, lazy person." She gets in my face a lot, but it has never escalated to anything physical. However, there are times when she is kind, and although she never apologizes for screaming at me, it's not like I have a bad life. My family is well-off, and I'm grateful for that so I feel a little guilty writing this. I know she cares, but it's getting a little too much to handle her moods. Even when me and my mother are having a normal conversation, it often quickly escalates to her yelling at me or calling me fat or telling me my future is going nowhere. I want to know, does this count as verbal abuse? (link)
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It's definitely verbal abuse and it sounds like she has a borderline personality disorder and possibly some kind of mental illness so you might want to advise her to see a specialist to help because it's not fair how you're getting horrible things said to you
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Im so in love with the higher boss then she just took a leave of absence to have a baby. when she comes back how do I proceed Im so excited around her.Ima man horney and married! (link)
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If you're in love with your higher boss while being married then clearly you have problems with your marriage and should probably look towards solving those problems because you should be in love with your wife not your boss
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I notice along with my other coworkers how mean my female colleague is to my coworker. She says things like “he doesn’t know anything” “He never does his job” She also talked about his fashion and called him whiny. He never says anything to her about unless he does it in private? Also other coworkers have come to his defense and he doesn’t have anything to say . On the other hand, they laugh and joke with each other. I would say their friends outside of work. But why does she feel comfortable talking bad about her friend infront of people. People have already brought it up to her and her response is “he says mean too” It’s clear other people are saying something but she continues to insult him. I feel like he needs to have a private conversation with her about her behavior. Have you ever experienced something like this at your job? Should I just mind my business? (link)
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The best thing to do would be to have a one on one conversation with him to find out what he thinks about her and if he doesn't really care or isn't too bothered by her then it most likely isn't a problem
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Hi!
There's this girl at my school, who is a year younger than me(year as in school year, I don't know how old she is) and I want to be friends with her. We have had ballroom dance classes together and I have danced with her a couple of times. She seems really fun and friendly and she once even high fived me after dancing. The classes ended about a month ago and we haven't really talked since. We take the same bus to school, so I see her almost every morning. How do I approach her? Is it weird to approach her now, when we have went to school together for four months?
P.S I don't want to date her or anything, she's not my type in that sense.
17, M
Happy Chirstmas! (link)
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Approach her with confidence and start up a convo about your dance class. It would probably be best to find the right moment for example when there's a seat next to her on the bus so you have your perfect opportunity to make conversation with her. You could say something like "hey you're in my dance class do you know when they will be back?" Then expand and say something like "I've danced with you a few times you're actually a pretty good dancer.. not as good as me though" then if you get along well you could say "you seem pretty cool can I get your number in a friendly way"
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