Member Since: January 9, 2019
Answers: 2
Last Update: January 9, 2019
Visitors: 478
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So I’ll be 20 years old in 3 weeks and still to this day I’ve never been in a relationship, or had a first kiss, or been on dates or as my generation calls it “the talking stage” where you’re just getting to know the guy. In high school I was always the outcast. I was always called ugly by different popular guys in front of me or RIGHT behind my back. I even had a friend that would tell me that I’d be 10x prettier with makeup and longer hair. That kind of stuff has affected me till this day. my self-esteem is so low that i don’t even try. When a guy does approach me (which rarely happens) I get instantly scared, awkward and nervous. Literally my fight or flight starts kicking in when a guy tries to approach me. I’ve tried online dating as well but quickly deleted the app bc I didn’t want my picture up (I was conditioned by my parents growing up not to post anything online).I tried joining school clubs but quickly had to stop going bc the clubs meet around 7pm and as a commuter I can’t stay that long on campus. I don’t know what to do I know when I leave university dating is just going to get harder. I thought by now I would’ve had a boyfriend but I’m acting the exact same way as I was in high school because of the traumatic experience and it’s controlling my life. My younger sister (18) she lives at her school residence (my parents didn’t let me live on residence but they let her bc her “program is harder” ) literally under a month of residence she already started hooking up with some guy bragging it in my face. How embarrassing is it that my younger sister got a guy before me? I know my sister would have no problem getting a boyfriend because she has two guy friends who currently have a crush on her, whenever she’s out with friends or at work guys hit on her. In her last year of high school she got promposed to (asked to prom) by 5 different guys. In my last year of high school no one asked me it’s so hard not to compare myself to my sister when we’re so close in age. Any tips on how I can hopefully finally be in a relationship in 2019? My friends keep bugging me asking me if there’s any guys in my life yet and every time I tell them no they don’t believe me or they say I need to start mingling (Also now my dad is pressuring me to get in a relationship as well, I’ve told him multiple times that I’m ugly and that’s why I’m not in one) please any advice would be nice (link)
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First of all, in order to love someone else you have to LOVE YOURSELF first. If you have low self-esteem and just call yourself ugly all the time you'll believe it. but the point is that you can't desperately want a boyfriend when you can't even love who you are in the process. A guy can see your self-esteem and take advantage of it and make you feel worst. Don't worry about the people pressuring you. You'll find someone but you have to learn to love who you are if you feel ugly then maybe make some healthy changes? if you don't like wearing makeup then try lip gloss or eyeliner. do things that make you feel good. self-care is important. any guy will say your pretty and etc but also be pretty within yourself is important too. Also if your uncomfortable dating alone why not go on a double date with your friends? that way you're comfortable. I hope this advice helps! you're beautiful!
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how do I put myself back out there in the dating scene and how do I stop seeing the negative side of relationships? I get asked out constantly and I turn everyone down...I even get hit on by females EEEWWW...n e way....I tend 2 always hear the negative side of relationships nothing happy..... he cheated on me, this man killed his wife, g/f, kids....he abused her during the relationship and threatened her after the fact...or stalks her etc...that puts me in a state of paranoia...now ive been stalked before and threatened not a nice feeling...so ive been single for a lil while now, personal choice....but because of that fear.... anyway what are some ways 2 get over that fear of being murdered by your date and or abused in a relationship etc so I can finally tell the next guy (one that my brosss wont hurt internally nor externally!!! ) that asks me out on a date YES, id love 2, while I pray he wont ask me 2 give him any.....!! lmao/smdh... thanks for any advice!!!
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Hi, Don't have any expectations. don't be so quick to judge, every guy is different. I know how it feels to feel like there's no hope in dating but not all guy is abusive or a cheater, and if it does happen, you know how to deal with it. just go with the flow and if it feels right, go for it. if it works out good for you if it doesn't then you tried. You know what u want and let the guys know what you want and don't settle for anything less. and have fun!!
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