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MY SUPERVISOR ASKED ME FOR THE FOLLOWING
my supervisor who is in his 30's like me, asked me for a plate of my thanksgiving dinner....I found that odd....there are 200 people in the building we work in and im brand new, been there a month and he asked me for food...wth? should I give it to him?
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Did you pretend not to hear him or did you say anything, or just laugh? If you made no response, you might come across as unfriendly or having no sense of humor. I have never had someone ask me for a plate of what I served for dinner any day. Usually there are no leftovers. Asking to be given something or invited somewhere is presumptuous and bad manners. So the answer is No, don't give him any food.
So if someone actually asks for you to invite them to your house for dinner or to bring them a plate of food, assume they are trying to be funny and make a joke although I personally wouldn't find it remotely funny. It boils down to what I see as begging and he likely earns more than you so getting some home cooked dinner should be up to him to cook his own. If he was serious, I would worry that all he thinks about is what he can get out of something, not what he can give, that he has no clue how to cook anything, and if trying to flirt, he also has absolutely no clue there.
Being that you are new there, I am leaning towards this being his idea of how to strike up a conversation, or to flirt and let a gal know he is interested. But think hard, if a guy like this really a catch? I went to a dating site after a divorce and many guys would say very dumb, inane things and they weren't even talking face to face, just writing and it was so boring or stupid I just skipped over them and never responded. I wanted some intelligence and ability to converse at the very least and yes I know its only asking for food, no harm done but I'll bet it didn't lead to a long conversation in which you got to know each other better if that was his aim. Being a supervisor, he likely knows how bad it would look to try to date an employee so I just don't see how he could work for that. So maybe,it was just his way of trying to start some talk.
I know people who when they joke look and sound so serious that they can fool most but not me. If it is outrageous like this request, I usually start laughing and compliment them on saying that with such a straight face. If they were really serious, at this point, they are likely too embarrassed you saw it as a joke and are unwilling to carry it through. No one had ever said to me, "But I was serious." Usually I get them to chuckle a little and thats the end of that topic.
You could always decide whether you want to be funnier and just be yourself. For example, this situation bothered you enough not really knowing why he'd say such a thing. Weren't you curious to know what he really meant. We can only guess here and still be wrong. But you are the only person who could ask. I have several ideas of how I might have teased back and thats most likely what he was looking for.
People like those who smile and are funny. THese people are often the life of a party. Men and women like it very much when a person they like or want to flirt with will laugh at something they said. I am married 10 yrs to 2nd husband and I still love making him laugh and yet when I met him, he didn't know how to tease, seldom cracked a smile and now I have him laughing heartily.
If you need an actual example of what would happen if anyone asked me for a plate of Thanksgiving Food, I might say with exaggerated face and words, "Oh NOOOO way, not after I Slaved so hard on Thanksgiving. I debated over what I should wear to the dinner, what to bring, how to prepare it, and got lost a few times finding the house where the dinner was being served. (in other words, you didn't cook your own Thanksgiving meal.) or "Hey, you snooze, you lose. If you wanted anybodys left overs, you should have asked them the day before Thanksgiving to make a plate for you because right now, you're too late, its all gone!! Now of this is done with a serious voice but with smiles and probably a chuckle or two thrown in. And another possibility is saying, "Don't you have leftovers from your own dinner (and not giving him time to answer, continue,) but then let me guess, you don't know how to cook. Hey thats okay, cus once upon a time, I didn't either, You know, there are these great cooking classes you could take and next year you wouldn't have to be put in the position of having to ask for leftovers, you's have your own.
My problem would be wondering which answer I should give. If I see the person thinks I am serious and looking down on them, as you can tell from a persons expression, I add on the end, "I was just teasing." I wonder if he noticed the incomprehension or confusion in your face. If he did, he certainly didn't say he was teasing. So I'd ignore it for now and when there is a next time with any person, not just him, to practice teasing and being funny, then if you want to, go ahead and work on it.
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Maybe he was joking. Clearly, this makes you feel weird. So just pretend that it was a joke. (maybe it was) Don't give him anything and if he brings it up later, say you thought he was joking. That way, you cover yourself as to not seem rude not to comply, and you'll see if he was actually serious if he brings it up again. If he does bring it up again, you can say you thought he was joking and the food is gone now. I guess its possible that he might say that if you described an epic thanksgiving dinner and he said he'd like to have some. But people just say things like that when others describe good food sometimes. I guess don't read too much into it. You might be making assumptions about your boss that might actually be nothing and he was either just joking or just saying that. Better to take it as a joke. The chances of him not actually bring serious about that are probably higher than the chances of him actually wanting you to bring him a plate.
If you start assuming that he has ulterior motives and you're wrong, you're gonna make things worse for yourself and him. Better not to assume. Take it as a joke or something that people say when good food is mentioned. If he brings it up, then you'll know he's being kinda weird.
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