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Does how my mother treating me count as verbal abuse?
My mother gets angry very easily, and yells and screams at me and my younger brother almost every day, although it is more often at me. I did do something wrong, but it is often very trivial (or at least I think so), like me leaving my sweater on the floor and forgetting to pick it up. She often says derogatory things to me, things like, "You don't deserve this", or "When you grow up, you'll become a stupid, useless, lazy person." She gets in my face a lot, but it has never escalated to anything physical. However, there are times when she is kind, and although she never apologizes for screaming at me, it's not like I have a bad life. My family is well-off, and I'm grateful for that so I feel a little guilty writing this. I know she cares, but it's getting a little too much to handle her moods. Even when me and my mother are having a normal conversation, it often quickly escalates to her yelling at me or calling me fat or telling me my future is going nowhere. I want to know, does this count as verbal abuse?
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It's definitely verbal abuse and it sounds like she has a borderline personality disorder and possibly some kind of mental illness so you might want to advise her to see a specialist to help because it's not fair how you're getting horrible things said to you
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Yes what you describe is verbal abuse something you grandparents most likely inflicted on your mother. Back then there were not the safeguards in place that are there for you today.
You can go to a trusted teacher or your school principal and explain as you have to us. They are required by law to notify the proper authorities to intervene. Your local children and family services will come out and talk with you mom and dad if he is in the picture.
There are many reasons from emotional to physical as to why your mom acts the is way. Family services will see to it that you mom gets the help she needs to become a better parent.
Should thing ever escalate to where mom starts hitting you take your younger brother and go to the nearest Fire or Police station or call 911. Now there is a difference between a spanking and hitting. Parents are allowed to discipline. A hand spanking is not abuse. Use of a paddle,hairbrush, belt or cane is abusive and not allowed. IF this were to occur you have every right to call 911 for help and should do so.
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Yes hon, that is verbal abuse. I lived through it myself so I should know. Although in my case, it wasn't a parent but the man I married. I don't know your age. I assume you still live at home since you are a minor or are older but choose to stay for the financial stability. In this case, you can't have both, as in no verbal abuse and financial stability. You have to pick which is more important to you. I will share that after too many years of such abuse, that it eventually being stressful, will affect your physical or mental health. I had a faith in God and that kept my mind safe but my stress went into every stress related issue, sickness or disease there is, headaches, migraines, body rashes, stomach ulcers, not healing well from injury, and it was a matter of time before stress created a heart attack or cancer. Besides other causes, prolonged stress is one cause of those two. I heard in prayer that if I did not leave in four years, at one point later on, that I would be dead from one of the two. I wanted very much to witness my adult children marry and become a grandma. So I decided that I had to think of myself first. There is no knight in shining armor who will rescue me, I had to do it and I did. I heard one person call me selfish and that hon is so far from the truth. You may not be religious but my best example is the scripture about loving ones neighbor as you love yourself. People stop at the love your neighbor part and focus on being receptive and caring about all humans you come across. That is actually backwards. The part about loving yourself has to come before being able to love anyone else. I learned this eventually. SO it is not selfish to be thinking of your own welfare when it comes to any kind of abuse. It is actually a must. I was shocked to learn that I didn't love myself 100% because of one thing, I was allowing myself to be abused this way by staying in my situation. I was an adult. I suspect you are not yet an adult but you can do something, you can talk to a counselor at school or school nurse. You give them the details as you gave me. They hear this stuff all the time and won't be shocked. They can help get help for your parents and most likely will contact a Child Protective service on your behalf. If there are siblings affected also, its best to give them a fighting chance to also have more normal lives. Don't be scared that your Mom or parents will be in trouble. I have such an experience with extended family and CPS. These days, they will do whatever they can to help the parent take care of what their problems are, become rehabilitated so the children can be returned to them. They only put kids in temporary foster care while parents area going through what ever it is they need. In my case, it is parents I know who both have severe mental health issues. Even with that, they got psych evaluations, parent training, anger management classes and whatever else was deemed as needed and then the kids returned. It didn't take but a handful of months. In some cases, the children are never removed from the home, but the parents still get help.
If anyone doesn't take you seriously when you mention this at school, all you have to say is that it is affecting your ability to do good at school, studying and in other areas of life. In school, if a childs ability to be a good student is being affected by something bad with the home life, they do take attention.
I hope this has helped you. If the parents never get much better, then you may want to make plans to start working as soon as you turn 18 and are a adult and can move out on your own. Find several kids who also want their independence and rent an apt. together. Getting away from your stress is more important because an eventually dead you, from the stress is not preferable to staying and starting college out of HS. You can always start college later or go to a trade school that takes less time and has a lack of employable trained people to fill empty job positions compared to the medical field or law field.
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