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6-12 School (new school) Introverted
Hello,
On September 5th, I will be going to a new school. The school I'm going to is a 6-12 school, meaning that I will not know anyone there. (I'm going to 6th grade).
I am introverted, and its hard for me to be myself when im nervous, so I don't know how i will make friends. I heard that you can make friends when people can relate to you. But when I'm nervous my social skills are terrible, so its harder for me to do that.
Secondly, I have never had lockers or had to memorize where classes are before, so I'm afraid I will go wrong with that, but friends are my main concern.
Lastly, the school I am going to is a very good school, that many people apply to but few get accepted. This means the stakes are high and im afraid that i wont meet them. I know I'm smart but what if I'm not smart enough?
Thanks for your help,
-Z
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Congratulations on getting accepted into such a promising school. Moving from 5th grade to 6th grade in a new school and new environment is scary and I know you feel like no one else shares these scared feelings. Trust me, there are lots more like you out there who is afraid of this transition. It is much easier to make friends at this age when everyone is just trying to fit in just as much as you. When you get to my age, it does not become easier, I can tell you that much. I am confident that if you put your mind to accepting this transition, you will be just fine at the start of the school year. It will not be expected that you master this new cycle when you first start, but you will get the hang of it very soon. Not everyone is an extrovert so don't feel like you are alone. I am sure, there are others who are feeling the same way as you and sometimes, just taking that first step to meeting someone or just saying hi or even a smile is all you need to get through this fear. Always look approachable and smile throughout your day. Even if you don't say anything to anyone or make friends your first couple of weeks, always look confident. The right people will come along. I personally believe, the universe finds a way to work everything out.
If you ever feel like you're not smart enough or things aren't coming to you as fast as they seem to be for everyone, NEVER hesitate to ask for help. Asking for help as much as often is how you get by, no matter where you go. If you have to join tutoring, or stay back after school to spend time with your teacher, do it. Every effort you make to succeed, no matter how small, will ALWAYS pay off. And, it is always the most perfect time to start this habit at your age.
Life will get more difficult than this, I can assure you. But there will never be no solution. As long as you want to succeed, always stay positive and make an active effort.
Good luck to your new school year, may you do well in all your endeavors!
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I have the feeling that as far as being smart enough to start there, you are or you would not have been accepted if its a school as you say where you have to apply and few get in. What you know to get in is not going to be what you know when you graduate. You will learn there and teachers are willing to work with and help students who apply themselves and have a hunger to learn. If you have trouble also talking to adults, then you may have trouble in school unless we address that. As a child and teen, I was introverted and called shy because there was no term yet for 'social anxiety'. I followed a list of things to do that are simple and you go at your own pace. Yes, it's scary but I was sincerely tired of being that anxious and knowing it would also hold me back in the adult world when going for a job so I applied myself. I read in a book by a psychologist that what I did is what he recommends. However, what I did, I got in prayer by asking God. I will share that with you because it starts you at learning to just smile, nothing else and slowly build up from there, to also learn how to start a conversation first, but thats at the end and when you get to that point, you will be ready. It worked for me and I am now and extrovert and have no anxieties. In fact at HS reunion, I was the social butterfly, making a point to walk up to everyone and at least say HI. I especially went to those who stood around by themselves not talking to anyone and at least 6 people thanked me for coming to talk with them.
Where it says talk to strangers, you include any and all kids you don't know.
I used to be so shy I wouldn't get up to use the pencil sharpener in grade school because I didn't want the other kids to stare at me. I refused to do book reports for fear of speaking in front of the class. So my grades would suffer. In contrast, my dad was a very friendly extroverted person and always bringing home new friends he had made. Us kids liked it cus these “uncles” would bring candy for us and many had accents from around the world with lots of interesting stories too.
It took until I was about 17 before I decided I was sick and tired of being so anxious socially. I didn't have the guts to just switch behaviour and start talking. Strange how I never thought to talk to my dad about that and get help from him. So I prayed and asked God for help (He knows each of us better than anyone ) and here's the answers I got. It sure helped me and I know it will help you. You can skip any steps you already have mastered. (I more recently read of the same way to overcome this in a book by a psychologist so it's not like trusting me that God said this but its what psychologists understand too))
None of this involves using people you already know because you already have some comfort level there For this exercise, you will have to drop the teaching, “Never talk to strangers”. Just use common sense and talk to people in public places where other people are around and don't go off alone with anyone. So here's your lesson.
1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person you don't know. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10 % of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes when ripe so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for face-book friending or other social media. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people.
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