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Grad School
Hello, I am 23 years old and I have a bachelor's degree in sociology and psychology. A few weeks ago, I had applied to three graduate schools for clinical mental health. I had gotten into two of them, I told the one that I would go to the other since it was financially best for me and when I went to accept the other's acceptance, I just couldn't do it. I started to panic reading about it and it's had me in such a frazzled state for days, keeping on thinking about it.
So, I'm thinking that this isn't my passion. I wanted to be a therapist but one would think once I finally got in and could get the ball rolling, I would be super excited but I've been so overwhelmed and scared and just so darn anxious that I don't think this is a good fit for me and aside from what I've already said, I'll give a few more reasons as to why I believe that to be true:
- I though that I would get in and get out in three years, that is what I had interpreted the professor saying during my interview but upon further reading, I had found out that I would be finishing my credits in three years, then I would be going on to start me practicum, then after that I would continue on to start my internship which would be another THREE years (plus more if I decide to work part time while doing it or I could be completely not working and complete the 3600 hours in three years)!! All of that, so far, is a minimum of 6 years, that does not include how many years it could take for me to pass the three part MPAC test
-the next thing I was thinking about is moving. My boyfriend and I had discussed that after we get married and before we have kids, we would like to live in another state for a little but say that I graduate in 7 years, I would need two years of working on my own license as experience before I apply to live in another state so that puts me at moving out of the state by the time I am maybe 32 years old, which not to mention, he discussed wanting to have children before we both reach 30, which I had no problem with since I thought I would be done with school by the time I am 28.
-the other thing that makes me nervous is that I graduate and get licensed, I get a job as a therapist and hate it, there aren't many other jobs that I could work with that type of master's degree so that is really kind of holding me back too.
Anyway, I just wanted to see if this seems logical or anything to anyone else here. I also wanted to get some input on what other type of jobs there are that I could look into. I think I'm going to defer my acceptance from this school so I can research a little more. I work as a paraprofessional with special needs children now and I love helping people, which is why I really thought therapy would be a good fit. I also am just the kind of person that likes to keep options open, which is why I didn't like the idea of not having many other jobs I could fall back on if I didn't like being a therapist or being stuck in one state because of being licensed. I want to get a good job that will help support me and my future family (and pay off all that student debt, ya know) but money isn't all that I'm about. I have looked into what sociologists and psychologists do, how much money masters degree social workers make and more jobs along that line. So, I'm just looking for advice on maybe a new masters degree to look into and what future jobs I could also look into with a new masters degree that kind of fit what I've described.
Thanks for any help!
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First of all, think about yourself and not your boyfriend (as selfish as that may sound). You've done so much to reach the point where you're at. If your boyfriend wants to have kids before 32 or whatever age he has tossed out there, that's his issue. As bleak as this may sound, your relationship status may change in the future. You just have to make sure that you can afford to support yourself. Think about a family when everything is settled and you're sure you can afford it. Everything is just hopeful thinking. You seem smart enough to make the right choice.
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Well, you can try to read additional literature on how to improve your CV like [Link](Mouse over link to see full location). That might actually help to find a better and more interesting job. So good luck to you. But I'm sure you're doing everything right.
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I will do my best starting at discussing things as you mentioned them. I have looked up sociology related careers and also psychology since I have no experience myself with either. I liked this link on bach. psychology careers:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...because they list the typical jobs of the degree but also skills you learned so those strengths can be applied to other career and a few examples are given. Even if you never do any psych type job, understanding a bit more than basic human psychology will be helpful in almost any job at some point in time because you are always interacting with people whether clients or co workers. I find that understanding some basics of how people think, very basic psychology is even helpful to me in answering people on here.
NOw regarding your panicking when you approached the other school, did you wonder why you did not panic beforehand? Maybe you felt some reservations but it wasn't down to the last minute yet when you actually accept so it could be just a timing thing. But lets go back to what was going through your mind when you first started on this road.
You said you want to help people. A person who is born to be in service in some way to others is most likely going to want to help people. However there are those few who go after a helping/service related career whose reason for pursuing in the first place was not that they want to help people but they wanted to earn lots of money and wanted the prestige that comes along with their chosen career. So I am not going to focus on them.
You could say I am doing a service related job answering on here. I don't get paid but its rewarding because I know I am helping some people...maybe not many but if I can help even a handful in doing this, then it was worth my time. There are many jobs that you could say help people. But don't use the degrees you currently have. Heck, even a really understanding and helpful person on the other end of the line at a call center is someone I find rare but when I run into one, it makes my whole transaction a whole lot less stressful, less jumping through hoops. I hope you understand my example. So we need to pin point exactly what kind of 'helping people' you want to do. I used to be a caregiver and did chores and looking after elderly or mentally disabled. So lets start with types of people. In general, what tugs at your heart the most, the situations affecting children? teens? young moms? single parents, the elderly, the mentally ill, those struggling with learning disorders, the homeless, etc...
If you are still not sure, it may be that you want to enjoy being able to help, when you want to, as often or as little as you want, when you feel like it, and not because you are tied to that job. At some point it may become overwhelming, no matter how much you like to help. There is always a possibility that some people who have a deep need and desire to be of help and service in some way, do not do it for a career but more as a hobby to start and then it turns into a career. People could do just about any job to bring in the needed income and be of help in some way that makes a big difference in lives around you.
I am going somewhere with this line of thinking and will go on to more of what you wrote. But at this point as an example of what I just mentioned, I would like to mention a Facebook show of Mike Rowe (celebrity) called Returning the Favor. If you haven't heard of it, please, please do watch it. Here is the link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Although some people accidentally get into helping their community in some way, some are doing for others the kind of help once given them but yet others see a need and just start filling the gap because there are no such groups, agencies or services in existance. This may not give you any ideas hon, but I am hoping it will give you a more firm understanding of how people are being helped by the average person who may not and probably do not have the degrees you have. Mike makes sure his group finds a way to help these people to continue to help others. The show started Aug 2017 and has 1.6 millions viewers. It is certainly popular.
You mentioned the word passion. So I will relate to that with an example of my own. Whatever you find yourself passionate about is likely something that you can't find yourself not thinking about on your time off, or talking about it with who ever will listen, there is a force, you feel driven to do it for as long as you can and the time just flies by when you are doing something you are passionate about. All that and more apply to my favorite pastime of gardening. Whenever we took road trips, the kids when small would spot McDonalds and cry out, 'Its McDonalds! Can we go? Even if they recently ate." As they outgrew that and were older, I would cry out, oh look a Nursery, can we stop and look and both the kids and hubby would quickly say NO. LOL I was so drawn to nurturing living things. It made me check out books to discover the names of 'volunteer' plants that birds dropped seeds of that were now growing in my yard. Bear with me, I am describing real actions of passion here. I learned to differentiate the seedlings of weeds from others, i could be at friends house outdoors and see weeds in their flower beds and finally couldn't stand seeing them and reached out and plucked them. I could be out tending the yard, mowing, trimming bushes, weeding, moving non thriving plants to a
new location and so many times i'd hear hubby call from the door, hey its almost 7, do you plan to make dinner? I look up and realize it's dusk and my eyes had slowly adjusted to the dark.
So, ask yourself what it is in life that lights you up, makes you not just happy but content and feeling fulfilled. Ask yourself what is or are the passions deep inside that push you to seek out certain hobbies, pastimes, certain people with the same?
Something drives your passion, For me it is nurturing. I am a nurturing person deep at core. This nurturing desire needs to be expressed and has been through several different avenues. For one, being a mother and raising my kids, now grand kids, my loving planting and tending a garden, and yes, giving advice in an advice column. All of these things require a person driven by nurture, such as my wanting to be of help to you.
I hope this gives you some pretty clear ideas of how to identify what it is that drives you to be passionate. It can be more than one thing. Then think of what jobs where your strengths or interests can be found. Don't think of what jobs your degrees relate to or will relate to. Find what drives you first, those qualities that make you feel passionate about something and then try to imagine what jobs would require that kind of passion.
Enough of that. You did mention a list of future changes. Moving to a new state, getting married, children, choosing a school, concern if degree is right one, wondering about what you're passionate about. People in general dislike change. We avoid it if at all possible. We are more comfortable like Hobbits in their hobbit hole, everything the same and predictable, no change. It doesn't matter how soon any of those changes are, it only takes one to get you started worrying about the change to come. You were on the brink of a big change, the next school and furthering your degree. So it's no surprise that this was like the straw that broke the camels back so to speak and you began to question where you are and where you are supposedly going. This would explain why you feel anxious, nervous and in a state of questioning. Change can be good and it actually a natural part of progression for all of us but too much change all at once can freak a person out.
If you only can get licensed in the state you live in, then it sounds like moving to a different state first is the important thing to come first. You likely wouldn't want to move away from family until they've had a chance to attend your wedding, right? Unless they all have no problem traveling to where you end up. See my line of thinking. Even this should come into play in your decision making. Are you sure enough that this is the man you want to marry? When is the time right for that? Are you thinking you need all the trappings first like school done before you marry, a good job before you marry? A good income before? Perhaps letting go of some ideals to marry first and then choose a state you want to live in where the cost of living difference from what you earn is pretty good for all wages including minimum wage. IN the meanwhile, decide what jobs you could possibly enjoy passionately with whatever personal strengths and drives you have. Then decide what career to pursue and do so in the state you've moved to. Well, thats one way to go but you know what your priorities are and your reasons for them and you only have to be happy with them.
One more thing, your awake or logical mind may see the right way to go, best path to take but your subconscious mind may not see it that way. The sub. mind can be at war with the conscious mind as far as having totally different views on something. I consider my SM, subconcious mind to be more like an inner child at times, but also like a totally separate person trapped inside of me, just taken along for the ride, no matter how scary it is to her. My 2nd husband studied and learned about this. I'd always talked to myself from childhood on, not realizing I was talking to my subconscious who likes to be of service to me. It already handles taking the next breath and blinking of eyes so we don't have to think about doing that. But the SM is always listening, like having a kid around. When I was making a dentist appointment for some reason I felt afraid, actually that was my SM. So I treated it as if I was rationalizing with a scared child. NO need to worry, we only driving, not there yet. Once there, don't worry we're only in the waiting room, its not our turn yet and so on, backing off the time it's allowed to truly be afraid and now my SM doesn't get afraid at appts anymore. So my conscious self is able to handle it too. Kids like to please MOm and pick dandelions to bring her or pick only the tops of blooms, not the stems. The SM listens and tries to please you. Unfortunately, it believes that what you think about most is something you want and they try to help you make a decision that will hopefully bring exactly what you want. The problem is when you are thinking about an abusive ex you left but still miss and so it tries to make you do something that will guarantee running into him again so you can get together, or if a woman is worried due to news reports that she could be raped, it wouldn't likely happen but if the SM interprets that worry as thoughts of something you want, it doesnt realize how bad that is and is trying to cause you to make a bad judgement that puts you at risk so it can happen. Not the best analogies. Some of this is Psych. based and some of it I gleaned from the Huna beliefs of Ancient Hawaiian shamans from an old book no longer in print. Probably not what is taught in colleges dear, but I have found this to be very real to me. And no, its definitely not split personality. Its more like I am the Mom of my life but I also acknowledge and listen to the child in me, who does have wisdom at times and actually is very helpful. Make sure that what ever choice you make, that your SM is okay with it or understands why you must make it even if it feels scared. The way you do that is by talking to your SM in your head or aloud when no one is around to hear and think you're crazy. It could be that your SM needs some assurances no matter what choices you make. Or it/she may have a good point to share. Its that odd thought that comes to mind when your line of thought wasn't going in that direction. Try to recognize when your SM is helping you and speak to it. Feels like talking to yourself, which in fact you are but not in a crazy, mental way. It's been long but we're talking about a whole lot that had to be covered, like hours with a psychologist. No short paragraph could have really given you all these things to think about.
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