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Want to move out
Hi 18/F
I want to move out of my mom's house asap. She keeps calling me names and making life unbearable for me. I hate going home. I don't have a job yet but I'm really almost there. I considered staying 5 more months but I can't take it anymore. My bf said i can move in with him but we've only been togheter for 2 monthes and my mom would flip because "what's the family and town going to say". I'm to scared to talk to her because she'll fiscally harm me. Please help?
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Since you have been offered a place to go, grab it. But you also said you're close to getting a job. Once you're working you can save up for a place of your own. If you don't feel right taking the offer from the bf, let him know that since things are in upheavel, you'll take up on the offer because you can't stay with Mom for sanitys sake but you also don't know how well your relationship will go. So for now, you just don't want him to assume this means you are committing to living with him continuously unless as the relationship grows, you bond closer and want to do that. Make sure he is not assuming anything there. If you end up not wanting to stay with him long term and still need your own place, you're the right age to put out an ad at a local college or university for a roommate. A college student who is intent on studies instead of parties may make a good roommate to help split the cost. Theres no need for you to also be a student.
I hope all goes well for you. But please get out from under Moms roof asap. I had a verbally abusive ex husband and as the years went on, the stress of the verbal abuse began to take its toll on my physical body with all sorts of stress related sickness and illnesses. Stress has to go somewhere and its either into the body or mentally where people get depressed or suicidal.
Don't let anything Mom has said in the past change your mind. Based on what I just shared, you are doing this for yourself for self preservation reasons. She no longer can tell you what to do. Its your life and not hers to live through you. I would not tell her that you are moving out. If you have to, pack only a few things at a time, a bag or box and take them over to bf's over a string of days so she doesn't notice. I had to do that with my ex. If you pay your own phone bill, then block her also so she can't reach you to pester you on line. You basically need to cut off contact. give her time to adjust how things are going to be now without you there. It could take a year before she calms down and may be civil or actually pleasant for a visit from you. If her issue is mental illness or some kind of personality disorder, she may not be improved when you see her again. Thing is, she'd have to be willing to see a mental health therapist, be honest and willing to admit she has a problem. And since she's an adult, you can't force her to, no one can. Then only exception is if whatever she's doing is endangering her own life, and then you can call adult protective services or check with your local DSHS office to see what they can do for her. Good luck dear.
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If your situation has reached the point where your mom calls you names and is making your life unbearable then move out of her house why should you continue to live there if you are miserable? It isn’t fair to you you can’t worry about what your family or the town will think because you are living your life for you not for anyone else not for your mom you are your own person even though you are her daughter you need to do what’s right for you what will make you happy i would move in with your boyfriend while his offer still stands he is giving you a chance to escape from your house escape from your mom you may only get that chance offer once so take it while you can while he’s still offering if she harms you you have every right to call the police no mother should ever physically harm lay a hand on their children you don’t deserve to be harmed hurt
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Here is where you stand. You are 18 a legal adult. Your mom can call you all the names she wants but the moment she raises a hand to you she has committed a crime. As an adult you mother no longer can use physical punishment, to keep you in line. She can not smack you, grab you or spank you. If she were to do so you would have the right to call the police and have her arrested. Then you could have a protection order against her which would cause her to stay out of her home for a year while you continue to reside there.
Those are your legal remedies should she do you physical harm. I advise you to remind her that in the eyes of the law you are an adult and if she harms you in any physical manner you can have her arrested. Whether you do so is up to you. Telling her that you can and will may keep her hands to herself.
If you want to move in with your boyfriend do it. If moving in with him is safer for you. Then do it and do not worry what other relatives might think. Just tell them flat out it wasn't safe for you to live any longer with your mother. Let them decide who to believe.
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