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I've already transferred colleges twice, and I want to transfer again?


Question Posted Wednesday June 21 2017, 7:32 am

To make a long story short I'm at my 3rd college and I want to transfer colleges again.

The first college I went to for a few months and it was one of those dumb little for profit colleges that have commercials on tv, I went there for a year and then transferred to a private college. I loved that college, but unfortunately started dating somebody there who became physically and mentally abusive and I wound up with a restraining order against him and he was forced to move away. I don't want to return to that college now though because I feel like it will only trigger horrible memories.

My current college started off great...until I joined a sorority, became VP, and then dropped from the sorority all in one year. Sorority life was too much of a lifestyle change for me and I was still dealing with anxiety from my past trauma with my ex. Now that I've dropped I don't want to be seen by any of my past sisters. They all turned against me and now I feel like everybody knows me as a failed sorority girl because there's only 2k students at the college. The worst part is next semester (August) all my roommates(3) are sorority girls. I feel like it's going to be hell.

Other than this reason, I'm in major doubt about my degree and my current college is very expensive (22k a year and that's with my scholarships). I also hate the name of my current college because it ends in "College" instead of "University" and sounds like a rinky-dink public college instead of the private college it is.

I now want to transfer again to a new college that's in the same city and is already known for being a really good university because they're part of the STEM program. They have a degree I'm very interested in and I actually already applied a while ago, but never sent them my official transcripts because I wasn't sure I wanted to transfer.

This college doesn't have any kind of sororities or frats and it's even smaller than my current college. I feel like I can't mess it up this time if I transfer again. I'll just lay low and make small groups of friends and focus on my job and studies.

The new college is also wayyy cheaper.


The issue is if I transfer again then I face having to start all over 2 years into college with a new degree and major.

Should I just tough it out at my current college or consider switching over one more time and then staying put?



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solidadvice4teens answered Thursday June 22 2017, 9:34 am:
You need your rightful place not necessarily your cheapest option. The problem is you aren't sure what you want to do with your life or degree you want. If you transferred again you may find yourself in the right situation or unfortunately another wrong turn.

I don't think anyone was being insensitive by saying that this is an indicator that maybe you should leave this school and figure out what you want to do before spending a lot more money that may be difficult to earn. You don't want to spend x amount on a degree you don't know you want to pursue and be in debt for it later. Taking some time to figure stuff out makes perfect sense.

I am sorry you suffered abuse and had to get a restraining order. However, he is out of your life permanently and it's not the school you dread as it's fine but negative memories that you should not allow to ruin your education and a place you might actually belong in.

As far as the catty dumb sorority girls go that's where they will be stuck maturity, ignorance and intellectually. You are far better off without them and they cannot and do not have the power to turn 2,000 other people against you. It is just not possible in reality.

Like someone else said getting career advice from a professional and therapy may help you find where you belong and where you need to go but it takes patience and perhaps waiting while you sort it out. That's okay.

I don't think what a person below me said was meant as insensitive because colleges recruiters and job recruiters are actually SOBS and can see only that you transferred X amount of times and not the reason why. It definitely happens and yes you have to be aware that they do in fact judge before interviewing people.

Back to the abuse you definitely need professional assistance to deal with the anger, confusion, self-doubt and your overall well-being since then so you can move forward in all aspects of your life.

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wintedove answered Thursday June 22 2017, 1:06 am:
Please ignore Mr.Karman's horrible horrible advice. What an insensitive misogynistic jerk. I hope you're banned sir. I will be reporting him.

All of the feelings you're going through are relative to that of somebody who was abused. I don't think you should transfer, but rather speak to an on campus therapist (every school has them) and find some social networks outside of school to spend time in.

I think you should give your new roommates a chance and if they don't work out then just treat them as what they are, roommates and little more.

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MrKaman answered Wednesday June 21 2017, 9:51 pm:
I don't know if you are ready for college. You seem to be more concerned about what girls think of you and ex-boyfriends then learning. If your GPA is destroyed while you busy worrying about other things you may never be able to get it back. My advice is to finish this semester with good grades and then get out of college. Get a full-time job and try to spend at least a year living on your own. managing a budget, paying bills, living the life outside of school. Then go back to school. You will approach it in a whole new light.

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