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Fight with my mother, was I in the wrong?
So, me and my mother were gonna go to the local shopping center to get some equipment for my summer sport. Well, we were also gonna get me a teething ring. I constantly grind and chomp down on my teeth, it's a habit that I can't put down. I read somewhere that chewing on a teething ring sometimes helped them, so I decided to give it a shot. Me and my mom were listing what we needed and I added my teething ring. She suddenly went all ape shit and was saying in a loud voice how I don't need one and I should just stop thus habit because I apparently suddenly have the ability to stop an addictive habit. I said to her that if I can suddenly do that, then she can suddenly stop smoking. Do now she is yelling at me at the top of her lungs, outside where all the people can hear. I told her in not going and went inside to lock myself in my room. She then comes in and starts screaming at me to get out of there and shoo with her, and there's no way in hell I'm doing that! I deliberately hide my shoes so I'm looking for them and she has to wait. After about 10 minutes of my "searching" she finally has enough and goes to leave. While she's put the door she tells me to lose my attitude and I say only if she's gonna do it first. I'm in my room at this point with the door locked again. She comes running up to my door and starts banging on it. We live in an apartment, we can't do stuff like that. We have to keep the noise to a minimum. I know I'm in the wrong somewhat, but is it all my fault?
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I think she over reacted for some reason about you wanting a teething ring and did not have to blow up in the mall. I also think there's more to this about her behavior and yours that you aren't telling us.
You should have indicated politely the reason you wanted one and where you read it. You are wrong in how you added gasoline to the fire with remarks about her own habits of which she can't stop easily. That part was wrong. You should apologize for that.
As far as a teething ring goes I don't know where you heard to use one for grinding teeth. They really are meant for infants and not adults. You would look silly using one.
What you do need to do is see a dentist about it. Have him check your jaw, teeth and bite alignment and offer you solutions that will stop or lessen this. They know exactly why people chomp like this or grind teeth regularly.
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First, Your mom doesn't understand habits and telling you to just stop your grinding habit while it doesn't apply to her bad habit means she is doing the "Do as I say, not as I do". Whether a parent or a boss or anyone else in charge over a person, it is not fair to demand something of a person they are not willing to do themselves. A person should lead by example. So I can understand you being frustrated with her. She is not treating you fairly as her child. While you may not yet be an adult, she should be treating you like an adult, allowing you to make decisions for yourself with her guidance and support and encouragement. Also, no one likes being ridiculed or chastised in public whether deserved or not and it is just plain wrong. I had an abusive ex who did that with me in front of my family and friends all the time. I am going somewhere with this to make a point to help you so here is a real story from my life.
I remember my teen daughter come home crying when dad was out with a friend and took the teen kids along so they could go out to eat. He decided on a Soup type restaurant without considering what anyone else wanted, including his friend. When she nicely asked if they could stop either before or after to get her a subway sandwich, he blew up at her calling her unreasonable when he was being the one unreasonable and unthinking and of course embarassing her in front of his friend. When they got home and she hadn't eaten at all, she came to me bursting in tears and my neighbor friend was over at the time. She heard my daughters story and the look on her face was of being horrified at how Dad treated his daughter. See, he didn't yell once but over and over and when he heard her retell the story he came and yelled again with all of us as witnesses. He finally left the room and heres what I told her which I hope you will take to heart also.
"In this life hon, not everything is fair. I understand that Dad was in the wrong. It is no big deal to pick you up a sandwich later. I would have to say he was acting like a child and immature. You know he does the same to me. In your life, you are going to run into people just like him or worse. Try to think of this as a time to learn how to deal with a person like this. And what you need to learn is that some people's minds are just warped or something and plus, there is nothing you can do to change them or make them better. Pointing out their faults or even just asking that they treat you with respect is not going to ever sink in to their gray matter. So if the situation is not going to improve, what can you learn from it? You can learn to hold your words and not say anything back because whatever you say will be like adding fuel to a fire and they will blow up. Yes, Dad was in the wrong. He is not treating you from a loving caring standpoint. But learn how to not give them the fight they want cus as I said, you will run across people just like him in life. It doesnt mean that you are submitting to them. Just bide your time til you are an adult and can remove yourself from a bad situation.
All you did is stand up for yourself which is a good thing and I have a feeling that even if done in a kind tone without yelling, Mom would still have attacked you verbally and pounded on doors, etc. I wasn't there, maybe it was a certain tone in your voice but thats no excuse for her, She's supposedly the adult but not acting like one. Next time, don't point out her faults. If at all possible, start a PT job and earn enough money to buy for yourself little things like this next time she throws a fit.
As for teeth grinding, I know how hard it is to stop. I never do it while awake, but if I am sick with headcold and/or more, I tend to grind my teeth, but only then. There is nothing I have been able to do to stop it because I am not awake at the time. When asleep, your subconscious takes over and runs things. So if someday as an adult, your dentist is concerned about the state of your teeth due to grinding, a good way to get your subconscious to stop is by giving it the suggestion through hypnotism. I think you had a great idea, wanting to find something to help you with the teeth grinding. If you do it at night, a dentist can possibly recommend something you wear in mouth at night to prevent this. I haven't done that because I only do it when sick which isn't often, thankfully. Blessings to you hon. Sorry I have no better solution, but hey this is life and life is often hard but the struggles of life do make greater persons of those of us open to working through the hard times in a mature manner.
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