|
My adult friend's parents are stalking her
First off, this is really my friend and not me. She's in her 20's and her parents are stalking her. She doesn't live with them, but rather in an apartment they pay for and she lives two hours away from them. They're part of a strict faith, but she's already denounced herself from it and they know that.
Yet, her dad is constantly texting her right after she gets home from driving somewhere asking her questions about where she went and why. He tells her she better not lie to him about whether she went out or not and usually already knows when she has.
He's even told her she better not go outside without telling him. It's really crazy.
My question is what can she do about it? We already eliminated the chance that he was tracking her via her phone's GPS or by bank account transactions. Now we think he might have hidden a GPS tracker maybe in her car but she's has two people look through her car and they didn't find anything.
She doesn't have any social media accounts to track her by.
Now we think maybe he's paying somebody to stalk her.
What can we do about this? She's too scared to go to the police and ruin things with her family because they pay for everything for her. I think it's gotten out of hand though and the paranoia is really getting to her. She's scared to leave her house now. :(
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
A lot of cars come with built-in GPS systems that can be used to track where your car is (especially if it gets stolen) and many companies also use it to ensure their employees are not abusing company cars for their own personal use. I would suspect the reason no one found anything in her car is because the GPS is built into the car so is not a stand alone device to find. In regards to this GPS and her parents using it to track her, she has a few choices. She can take it into a garage or workshop that deal with her model of car (calling them before going to ensure they can carry out the work would be a good idea) and she can ask them to disable the GPS. However, her parents may know what she has done when they see that the last trip she made was to a workshop/garage and after that the GPS went dead. Alternatively you can look up her cars make and model online and see if there is a guide available on finding and disabling the GPS. The last and best choice in my opinion will be to call around and see if there are garages who can disable the GPS (they may question why she wants to do this) and if they are able to come out to her car to do this instead of her having to take it in. Depending on where the GPS is located and how easy it is to get to they might be able to do this.
Taking care of the GPS though is only part of the problem here. Although she may have denounced her faith, it does not change that she is still her parents' daughter and they are perhaps concerned about her. I am an adult and my parents still treat me like I'm a teenager, this is just how some parents can be and it is not always a bad thing either. The biggest issue here unfortunately is that her parents are paying for everything so as much as she may want to push back, they still have the last say because they are the ones providing for her to even live by herself in the first place. If she truly wants to be independent she will need to consider paying her own way. It will be the only real way that her parents won't have anything to hold over her head.
The only other way I see around all of this which may avoid a lot of drama is for her to use her car when going to work or shopping and such so when her parents ask where she went she can just tell the truth and be done with it. When she wants to go somewhere else without being tracked she should use public transport, a taxi or arrange a lift to and from the place with a friend. It's probably annoying but given the circumstances her parents are happy and she will not have created any kind of rift with her relationship with her parents. At least until she manages to get her own place or is able to take up the costs herself of her place and such.
]
It is possible they are tracking her through the GPS system in her car. She should have it disconnected if at all possible. This would need to be done at the service center at a dealership of the cars manufacturer. Also her cell phone has GPS tracking which cannot be disabled.
It is illegal for anyone other than the police to do what's called pinging this phone and it takes special software to do so. If there is any possibility that her parents could do this then she should get a prepaid cell phone you buy in a gas station and use it when she goes out leaving her other phone at home.
As for any other type of surveillance she might be under. Until she is ready to stand on her own two feet and live without the support of her parents or until she has had enough and goes to the police and the courts for an order of protection. There is not much she can do. An order of protection between a child and parent is a last ditch effort for it is a no contact order. Violating this order means jail time for the violator.
A step in between where she is at now and the order of protection would be to find a lawyer to write to her parents. She can get a legal aid lawyer to help her. Stalking is against the law. She is an adult and her parents have no legal right to know where she is, who she is seeing, or what religion she may or may not be practicing. While I don't recommend lying to ones parents at any age if she prefers to lie to them about something that's her right and her parents have no recourse if she does because she is an adult and they cannot physically punish her.
A lawyer in a letter can explain all this to her father in a letter explaining these are her rights in this country and that his old country ways do not work here and what her legal options are if he continues to harass her.
Of course he too has options one of which is not to support her any longer for by law he is not legally obligated to do so.
]
More Questions: |