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I think my teacher saw my scars!
I forgot my gym clothes today so I had to wear my itchy sweater. I'm not in the best shape so I get really red while exercising. I used to cut but I have gotten over that, but you can still see very faint marks from where I used to cut. When my skin turns red you can clearly see all of then running right down my arm. I asked my teacher to let me go run some water over my arms since the sweat mixed with the itchy sweater caused a bit of burning, and she wanted to see my arms to make sure I wasn't getting a rash. I showed her and she allowed me to go. I'm really worried that she saw the scars and might call my parents, my parents never learned about my cutting. What do I do? I'm really freaking out!
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I've been there before. My teachers saw my scars before and they didn't say anything to my parents. If you feel suspicious about anything then go talk to your teacher personally and tell her how you feel and that you do not want your parents to know. You should either do that or just hang back calmly. The worst is over now and you don't cut anymore so I am sure your parents wont get too mad over something that happened in the past because you're okay now. If you read this, thanks for your time and I hope I helped.
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While you may think it horrible that your teacher may say something to your parents believe me it isn't. She's 100% on your side and out to protect her students. It would be good for your mental and physical health for people to know so you can put it behind you and move forward with your life free of depression or the desire to engage in self harm.
Your parents would never be angry with you for telling them the truth and that you are having trouble. They would get you the help you needed and work with you to overcome it and be well which to be blunt if you are cutting yourself or hearing voices in head urging you to isn't right.
When you have a psychiatrist and a therapist and teacher helping you and providing counselling you can't go wrong. It will change your life around. It's best never to hide anything like this from adults you trust and parents as it can become a ton worse and they would be more upset that you didn't come to them with it than you did.
It's only a good thing to tell your teacher and parents the truth about the cutting. There's no judging you at all. This incident at school may be the best thing that could ever happen. Nobody said telling the truth to anyone about this is easy or not awkward but it has to come out one way or another so it is dealt with head on and for certain remains in the past. I wish you well.
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I can't say whether your teacher will say anything to your parents or not. The fact that the scars are almost gone says they are old and not seeing any fresh ones the teacher would in my opinion probably not say anything but I could be wrong. Had your parents known of your cutting the school would have been advised so teachers and staff could keep an eye on you during the day. Since that is not in your records if the teacher chose to look then she might call your parents.
I don't know your teacher and I can't predict what she or the school may or may not do. What I do know is you are no longer cutting yourself and that is a good thing. What I don't know is what caused you to cut yourself in the first place and that is a bad thing.
Those that cut themselves are generally depressed and cut to feel something. This is not good. In your instance whatever was depressing you seems to have passed. That is good. What no one knows and maybe you don't even know is just what it is you found depressing enough to cause you to cut and this is dangerous.
Cutting is dangerous because if you cut in the wrong place you could hit an artery. If you hit an artery and no one is around to help you can bleed out and dye in just a few minutes. Arteries lye at different levels in each of us so it would not be hard to hit one accidently.
Even if the teacher does not tell your parents I urge you to tell your parents. As a parent and grandparent myself please trust me when I say yes we may freak out as you say but not at you. At ourselves for not seeing your pain. We will get scared but we will calm down and want to help you.
As I said it is a good thing you stopped cutting but without knowing why you started or even I you think you know why. You need to find a better way to deal with that reason than to cut. For this you need to speak with a qualified therapist. A psychologist trained to help you identify what triggers the need to cut and deal with it in a better manner.
As I said the need to cut is the need to feel something. It is also a cry for help so ask for the help. Please trust when I say if you get the help I'm suggesting you will feel better. Remember one thing what you say to the therapist stays with the therapist nothing ever gets back to your parents even if you are a minor. Everything said in therapy is totally confidential.
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There's no reason to freak out over something in the past. If you can just adjust your own thinking on this issue, you will feel calm. As your thoughts run, whether peaceful or scared or angry, so will your emotions and actions go.
So the key is what you think. I do not know if teachers report cut scars to parents. I do know they look for signs that a parent is abusing a child, like bruises all over their body and then they contact CPS, child protective services, not the parents. CPS would show up unannounced at your parents door.
Who you were in the past does not define who you are today. So if you are no longer cutting and have no desire to that you are battling with and there are no anxieties or depression, then you have nothing to worry about.
Walking around for the rest of your life covering your arms and trying to hide this from the parents is stressful in itself There is always some stress to an individual who lies or hides something in order to keep something secret. To be free of that stress, it is better to come out in the open. It would involve seeking out the one parent who is more calm and open-minded and telling them and they can pass it on to the other parent. If you choose to try this, at any point that the stress of hiding it and guilt and such get to you and you just want to get the hiding over with, then here's something I would say:
I need to confess something and no matter how alarmed you may be, I want you to allow me to share everything without any interruption until I am done. I know this may be something in the recent past but I want you to keep in mind that if a person has really changed or overcome something, then their past should not define who they are currently. So the deal is, I used to cut myself. (you explain here if you did it to just experiment and do it cus friends did and you were curious or more likely if you did it cus the pain of cutting somehow canceled out your emotional pains or anxieties.) I know now that was the wrong thing to do. I am ashamed of my scars. (admitting wrong and how you feel goes a long way to proving you are growing up and changing if you can communicate this all in an adult manner.)
If you want to keep a closer watch on me or one of you check my body periodically for fresh scars, I will understand, even tho I might not like it, but I know this is a way for you both to regain trust in me. I know its your job as my parents to make sure that all I need is taken care of. So even if you wish me to see a counselor, I will go. If they can find nothing currently wrong with me, then I hope you can trust me again all the sooner."
Its a big difference from you volunteering to go thru any hoops they may have versus them first placing certain demands on you in a way that feels like punishment. It should not ever be punishment but support and encouragement to grown and change for the better.
Then you can share this next piece of information that helps to understand how quickly teens and college age people grow and change.
There are scientific tests to back this next bit up. While the body may become mature in the teens, the last thing to really mature and finish growing is the frontal lobe of the brain. So without a fully mature brain, teens are very likely to make some poor choices but can just as quickly learn form them, improve and move on.
Of course, you could share this all in your own words. When they aren't home, practice talking to a stuffed toy, holding eye contact until you feel comfortable confessing and knowing what you will say ahead of time. Don't lose your patience with the parents, just calmly allow them the time to vent their emotions whether crying, worry or anger and yelling. Don't rise to the bait and cry or yell back as you will lose ground.
Now if you are too chicken to confess now and they happen to find out from other sources, maybe not even a teacher, then consider how that looks to them. You can still share all the information I posted above that you might share with them. But it would hardly have much positive impact on them because of the fact that you were still in hiding mode and keeping this information from them which in a parents eyes will convince them stronger than your words, that you really have not changed at all and may be in danger of cutting again.
Good luck dear.
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