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CONFRONT HIM OR DO NOTHING AT ALL
he doesn't want me, nor like me like that yet, because I had asked him out a while back but we never went out.....and from that day forward he'd still pick on me etc...well I dug around/did some research and found out he is engaged a kid yet, he told me he was single with no kids, but later down the road he admitted he had a kid, but I still said nothing about his fiancée...well, ive known about his fiancée for about a year now, but I never said anything to him. I know he never asked me out which is fine, but to withhold that info is strange and unnecessary, unless he had/has something up his sleeve.
well he still comes up behind me randomly and says BOO! while staring at me...or he'll massage me while im in the breakroom, walk with me back to the office (we do not work together)we are both in the same building though,....I told him we are just friends and that was his decision to be just friends and he goes, that's all we are..i said yes.....and then he says don't let that get u down, while smirkin...I said what the f...you are a fukktard....and I walked away ..and he came by my office that same day and just stared at me, so I asked him, can I help you, he said nothing but kept staring and walked away..... why are random men such fukktards and play so many dumbazz, pointless games...
Im thinkin he is "stickin around" because he wants too screw me...even though that'll never happen..my sister said i am a home wrecker because I play around with him daily and he touches me randomly on my shoulder or he'll poke me etc...now ive never had sex with him, even though that is what he wants, he admitted that...but that'll never happen..while ive known this info for quite sometime, do you think I should pull him to the side and tell him I know he has a finance or say I heard you had a fiancée is that true...and proceed from there or say nothing at all.
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This sounds suspiciously like one I answered before but you may be a new questioner. I want you to ask yourself a question and answer it and you just may have the answers you want to make some sense here.
The question: If I am not willing to be his booty call, then why do I allow him to act like, talk like and touch me like a male who does have those rights because we are a committed couple??????
He may be an adult but he may have been raised by parents who let him do whatever he wanted. So if by chance he is raised to believe that instead of no means no, that no means If I push hard enough and am persistant enough, i'll get a yes or get what I want. Some people are like this cus of their own choice or parents who inadvertantly trained them to be this way. Its not going to change any time soon if ever in the near future or in his lifetime. He just may be stuck in that cycle. So if this is the best anyone can expect from him and you don't like it, why is he still coming after you flirting and hanging around at work?
I am in my fifties and have enough life experience with guys to know that at least the undesirable men tend to go after the females they know they can control or bully or get their way with. They really aren't much into doing a battle and fighting hard to convince a gal to allow him periodically into their lives for some fun from consistant flirting and trying to get into their pants. These guys want simple and uncomplicated. You so far have made it easy by letting it go so far without saying the right things. I know you have spoken to him but evidently, what you are saying is not strong enough to put him in his place and scare him silly. If you do somehow get the balls to confront him once and for all in the RIght way, it is also likely that he won't take you seriously.
If he's like the brat child the parents couldn't or wouldn't control that I suspect he is, then when given an ultimatum, he beleives everyone will back down if he dares to cross the line or boundaries that you give him. Its a test. Yes, it is a Test to see if you will back up your words, your ultimatum with action.
I also beleive the reason you won't do that to him is because you truly are very interested in him and want him to be your 'one woman man'. I don't think he is that from what you've shared. Single with a kid? And not divorced? The kid then came from sex with a female he wasn't very committed to. At least, thats my reasoning. there may be other factors.
But that combined with how he's coming after you just spells bad news dear. He IS a player looking to find a new sex partner and trying to do it in a way that he thinks doesnt make him look like a skirt chaser and so far, he thinks it has worked on you. So my advice is Yes!!!!! Confront the man, asap!!!!
He has already gotten away with sexual harassment on the job because you've done nothing. Touching you for neck rubs can be innocent but more often it is used for this reason as a way to merely "appear" an innocent act when in reality he has a lot more on his mind when it concerns you. In general, if a woman is very good with her womens intuition, it isn't hard at all to almost be a mans mind reader, thats how simple they are to figure out most times. Your radar can pick up if something is intentional on his part or accidental. I have moved quickly in public or a guy I don't know has and his elbow or arm brushes against my chest accidently. And they are horrified and apologetic but I was able to sense it was unintentional and it is the only time it happens.
So, right now, he could lose his job for sexual harassment. In some cases, it doesnt need to involve touching at all and it depends on what he is saying or doing. Most guys aren't stupid, they will try to make it all look subtle. If you truly want this all to stop...heres' How to confront him. "I want you to realize that I've finally grown some balls to confront you about this. Yeah, I asked you out once because I liked you. I dont know why I put up with it so long but your massages, and flirting and dogging me all over the building and if you can't manage to run into me, you come by my office to just stare at me. I know my rights and this is clearly sexual harassment. So I am going to ask you to stop it all. You may be civil and say hi in passing but I see no reason for conversations other than work related and since we don't work in the same departments, that it not a requirement ever.
If you had wanted to date me and are truly free to date me, I might have been interested, but even if we were a couple, in order to not cause trouble like losing our jobs, I would not be okay with PDA's with my guy at work.
As far as I have been able to determine some time ago, you are engaged and have a fiancee so if this is true, I don't want to be your fun on the side.
At this point, if you are truly interested in me, and do not have a fiancee, then you will have to prove it to me. If you take this as a personal offense, then you definitely are not the guy for me. I would expect you to introduce me to your parents, your siblings, other relatives and your friends as your girlfriend. I am sure if there is a real fiancee, your parents would be asking what happened to your fiancee and why you're now with me. Clear your name with me if you want to date me. Otherwise, if I were you, I'd bug off right now or you'll be sorry that you ever thought to play around with me. I am stronger than you think.
Okay, well those are the words I'd use if it were me facing this. You have to come awfully close to those kinds of words to get any where with him. You must believe that everyone tells the truth when asked a question cus if the only thing you were gonna say is, I heard a year ago that you have a fiancee and you need to do some explaining as to why you're chasing me instead." It is too easy for him to say, I never was engaged, that is just a rumor started by so and so, or he could say, yeah, I was engaged but we broke it off, she hsd cold feet about it. It could be true but its also a 50/50 chance that it is all lies. So you have to do something other than ask if he's engaged.
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