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virgin yet my hymen is broken??
Ok so I'm gonna be 15 very shortly so I get my 'ladies' exam next week. I was curious so I checked out my hymen and saw it kinda looks like its broken/torn.. but I'm a virgin.. like I've fingered myself before but no dude has entered me. I'm terrified that the doc will see it and say something to my mom who will flip out and not believe that I'm still a virgin.. any help you can give? like any excuses to give my mom and the doctor?? I'm desperate here!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Generally all doctors I've known of request to see their patients with out their parents because they feel the patients will be more honest so they can make a better diagnosis and treatment having more accurate information. They also understand your concerns. Secondly, no two people are just alike. Without a more extensive examination there's no way to be sure why your body is the way it is. There's a number of reasons the main one being that you used tampons. Just relax, you'll be fine.
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Hi dear. Basically what adviceman says is true, many females have a hymen that won't tear or bleed. It can be looser for some of the reasons already stated. Then again, I used tampons which are smaller circumferance than a penis and when I married as a virgin, I never bled or tore. Most bleeding, pain, discomfort occurs only because the man didn't take his time with the gal going really slow, not entering completely, just a tiny bit at a time using lots of lube. So there really is no medical way to determine if a female is a virgin.
For the exam, the doctor will use something called a speculum to see inside you. See the vagina when in relaxed state shrinks up to be smaller in length and the sides or circumferance fairly small. The thing lots of people forget is that all of the vagina, including the ring of flesh in one part near front of vagina, is elastic, like a rubber band and will stretch to the size that is required, whether for an exam, for masturbating or sex with a partner.
Think of what happens if you don't slowly stretch out a new rubber band and quickly pull it to an extreme stretch, it can either snap apart or tear on you. Vagina is the same, it stretches.
I have a favorite you tube blogger I like and use to help in cases like this where I feel the teen will profit from viewing this one video and possibly her many others. The gals name is Laci Green and heres a link to her video "You can't pop your cherry" or Hymen 101. She comes up with the best homemade simple model to give you an idea of what the hymen looks like.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Two things you need to know and the first is very important.
First: The fact that you are over the age of 14 by law you have medical confidentiality for any medical exam or procedure that might include your reproductive system. This law is called HIPPA. With in this law is a section that gives anyone 14 and older medical confidentiality concerning their reproductive systems. Congress did this so young people would seek medical assistance for problems, concerns or questions concerning their reproductive system.
What does this mean for you? When you see the doctor tell him or her you wish to be seen under the rules of HIPPA. This means mom cannot be in the exam room with you without your permission. It also means your medical records for this exam and any other medical exam concerning your reproductive system which includes your urinary tract are confidential. No one can see them and the doctor cannot discuss them with anyone including your parents without you written permission.
Your mom won't like it but it is the law. Under this law if a girl over 14 would become pregnant her parents could not force or stop her from getting an abortion either as this is strictly her and her doctor's decision.
Second: Not having a Hymen does not mean you are not a virgin. Todays active female can dislodge her Hymen playing sports, participating in gymnastics, horseback riding or just riding a bicycle. Also if you use tampon it is possible to tear or dislodge you Hymen. It is less likely you would do so by fingering yourself but it is possible.
Today virginity is not judged by whether or not a girl has her Hymen. Today's definition of loss of virginity is when the vagina has been penetrated by a penis.
Given your age I'm sure your mom knows why a girl your age would not have a Hymen but could still be a virgin. For she may have had the same problem when she was your age. What she did not have was the protection of the HIPPA law which have if you invoke it. You should by telling the receptionist and the doctor on arrival at the office. If your concerned about doing so in front of mom call the doctor's office in advance and advise them you wish to invoke your rights under HIPPA.
The doctor cannot tell you mother anything about your exam. Only you can if you chose to.
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