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My mom is being a control freak!
So I was going to this Halloween dance with my friends, I was going as a mime. I had this white T-shirt that I turned around so you couldn't see the letters on the front, and a black jacket to wear to cover up the words on the back of my shirt. My mom said we were going to the store because my outfit looked bad to her, I honestly liked the way it looked. We drove to the store and she picked out this shirt and jacket and made me try them on. I didn't like them, so we got into an argument, and she started crying in the middle of the store, she took me home and here I am now. I know I should feel bad for this, but I really don't, I feel like she deserved it. Whenever I cry like that I get yelled at, its no fair that she gets to do it without punishment. She's in the car outside crying right now, I don't know what to do, please help! P.S. I'm a 13 year old female.
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Your mom is indeed a control freak. And she puts her needs above yours. There is absolutely no reason you should ever be yelled at for crying. Your mother putting her own emotional needs before yours is a form of emotional neglect and a sign of narcissism on her part. I was raised under narcissistic parents and now as an adult realize that I was not a brat and there was nothing wrong with my "behavior." Having feelings is not bad behavior; being who you are is not bad behavior! A lot of people will insinuate that you are being disrespectful and they are probably mentally still living in a time where abuse in the family is acceptable. Hang in there, only a few more years until college.
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I can't see where your mother is a control freak from just this one instance. If you have not already done so you need to apologize to your mother for making a scene at the store and making her cry. Parents do not get punished when their children do something to make them cry.
If you are still reading. I understand that at 13 you think or feel you are all grown up and feel you should be allowed to do as you please or at the very least have more freedom to express yourself and spread your wings.
Judging by your question I believe you mom and your dad if he is still in the picture are the good parents I believe them to be and the type of parents every young teenager needs. Their is still a lot for you to learn and teenage life brings with it a whole lot of things to learn especially socially.
Ultimately until you are 18 mom and dad are responsible for you and their word is backed up in law. Still good parents as you earn their trust and respect will allow you to spread your wings and enjoy the freedoms that you are looking for today. Today at 13 it is obvious mom feels you have more to learn and did not like your costume. That is not being controlling, this is teaching, at least from what I can tell without more information.
There is an old saying that one must crawl before they can walk. At the moment you are in a crawling stage where you learn the skills needed so your parents can trust you in the social settings that you will face as you get older and are allowed to go out and date and do other things older teenagers are allowed to do.
One other piece of advice. Being a teenager can be frustrating at times. Being a teenager is something that happens only once in our lifetimes and can be a wonderful time in our lives. slow down and don't be in a rush or you will miss some important things. Take the time to smell the flowers as you go through your teenage years. If you do you will know when it is time to advance to the next stage of being a teenager and you and your mom will have a wonderful time together.
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