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lost on what to do
Today I find out my ex girlfriend is 10 weeks pregnant with my child. We have one child together already but we broke up. It wasn't working out. I was confused on how it even happened because we only had sex when she was on the depo. shot. She is considering having an abortion but I don't know how to reply to it. I am just lost on what to do. It's hard to really type all of this but it's the best I could do to sum things up.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
I need to know how old you are too. It's overall her decision what happens with the baby. She's carrying the baby. You have to do the best you can to support because this can be a hard decision, this is a human being forming inside of her. She might become stressed on what to do, but don't push her to make a specific decision, just be there.
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consider your place in life right now. ask yourself a few questions first.
am i ready to help raise another child?
Do i have the money to support another child?
If shes willing would she just give me the child to raise like adviceman said? (not too many women are just gonna give up what they just spent so much time and effort growing inside them but its not impossible either so its still a valid question)
you really just need to take some time to think about where you stand on this. Do you think you would be able to live with yourself deep down if she DID abort....knowing the rest of your life that you could have had a second child but didnt. (not here to guilt trip you just honestly asking)
are you at a place in your life mentally, emotionally, and financially to carry this weight. Children are wonderful but ive always felt they should be brought into a world that was planned as much as possible to may way for them. I myself was an accident and a surprise because they couldnt tell what i was until i came out! ; )
but i turned out to be the strongest, most capable one of my family and personality wise the best thing that could have happened to them because the rest of them arent like that at all. im known as the one that "gets things taken care of" so that should speak for itself. lol.
so just think about where the both of you are, see if maybe you can sit down and talk to her in sensible and logical terms so that your both clear with one another and that you will try to be there for her as much as you can even though things didnt go as planned.
Thats the best answer you can give a pregnant woman who is growing your child inside her and is fearing she may have to do this on her own with no help. She'll at least be able to say that your trying your best to do what you can even though that may not always be enough. It takes two people to create a child so this is also on her as well.
This is as much advice as i can give since we dont know more about your situation and if your in a place where you can do this, if your even of age, and have a place or at least a job or your own.
i hope it works out and theres no reason to think you cant do it if you put your mind to it. You already have one little person who is looking to you AND its mother for guidance in this life, so another one shouldnt be too much harder if you handled the first one ok. ; )
good luck
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Dear lost on what to do,
i promised myself i would never give up a single child of mine, i do not have any, but i know for a fact i will, in my opinion, keep the baby, and raise it TOGETHER, because a baby will get raised with their single parent, but when they have both parents, it is even better. This baby, is a gift, and an angel you both created, so, if you are willing to accept the challenge of parenting, raise this little angel like how you think an angel should be raised, do not abort it though, if you two think this is too much to handle, set it up for adoption, or foster care. please, do not give up on a beautiful creation that can help change the world
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First of all no contraceptive is 100% effective at best they are 98% effective so you and her were lucky or unlucky depending on how you wish to view her pregnancy.
I cannot tell you how to reply and I really don't feel anyone else can either. What I can say is that at the present time abortion is legal and if she chooses to have one there is not much you can say or do to prevent it.
Should she choose to have the baby and keep it? Well that is a different story. Then again there are few options open to you as by law if this is your child, which you say it is. Then you are legally required to support it until it is 18 years old. In other words you will have to pay child support for this child as well as the first child you two had together.
Since you have no real say in the matter as to what she does. Your best reply is simply to say you will support whatever decision she makes.
There is one choice you have though it will require her to have the baby and then give up all parental rights to the baby if you want to take and raise the child on your own. You cannot force her to have the baby this is something she will have to agree to as well as having it strictly so that you can take and raise the child. A legal document will be needed to be drawn up by a lawyer for both of you to sign if she is willing to do this.
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