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sex help
Sometimes sex is painful for me. Like when we do doggy or missionary...are there any positions that are more comfortable. It hurts on my side too.
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Your question is somewhat contradictory in what you have written. Generally speaking the doggy position allows for deeper penetration which could have your partner hitting your cervix causing you pain. In the missionary position penetration usually is not as deep unless your partners has a more than average length penis.
According to the latest Ansell Research Survey; the average male penis when erect is between 5.1 & 5.9 inches long.
Average Vagina Size
Relaxed
Length 3 1/2 to 4 inches
Diameter 1 Inch
Aroused
Length ("tented) 5 to 6 inches
Diameter 1 1/2 to 2 inches
The information I've shown above is the average so if your partner is above average and you are average then there is a chance you will suffer some pain during sex.
There are three ways to handle this:
First: Use positions such as women above where you can control the depth of penetration. In the missionary position put your knees on his chest to limit how deep he can penetrate you. Of course using this method will depend on just how long his penis is.
Second: Communication; just like everything else in life a good sex life depends on good communication between partners. Men you age are generally still somewhat inept as lovers. What I mean by this is they are still looking more to satisfy themselves than their partner. They may not admit to this though having been you are age at one time I know this to be true; especially if a relationship has not been entered into.
Third: If the problem is the diameter of his penis that is causing you pain. Just remember what comes out of your vagina. Your vagina is made to stretch and will stretch to accommodate your partners’ penis. You need to learn to relax those muscles (search the web for exercises). If you still have pain and cannot relax those muscles I suggest seeing your GYN. Don't be bashful about it as your GYN has heard this problem many times before.
He may be too quick and needs to slow down. He can shorten his stroke if need be especially if he is long in length. He won't know this unless you talk to him and tell him.
Sex is a beautiful thing between two consensual people and should be enjoyed by both. To do so you both must be open to one another and tell them what is good and what is bad. What you like and what you don't like. What you’re willing to try and what you won't try. You also need to remember that what happens in the privacy of your bedroom or wherever you have sex stays there. Nothing tries or don in the way of sexual enjoyment between two consenting people is weird. The operative word is consensual or consenting. This leaves a variety of positions available for you and your partner to try.
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A woman may find it a little painful at times if her partner penetrates her a little too deeply. If you're having sex 'doggy' penetration is likely to be very deep unless you ask him not to press too deeply (appreciating that this can be difficult for a guy, especially when he's very excited and/or close to his climax). With 'missionary' it will be deeper the higher you raise your knees (if you see what I mean)....legs apart but flat it will be most shallow...the higher then 'angle' you make with your legs the deeper it will become. It's hard to describe in words but I'm sure you can visualise it. So you could keep your legs 'flatter'/'straighter' if it's going in a bit too deeply at any time. It's hard to say exactly why you might find it painful. Is it painful at certain times of the month? Has it just become painful, or has it always been like this? You might try laying on top of him, then you can control how deeply he penetrates you (but it will be 'harder work' for you, obviously. Squatting down with your heels pressing against your bottom will have the OPPOSITE effec, it will increase penetration. Generally, sex in the missionary position shouldn't be painful. Obviously you'll want to make sure you're fully aroused and nice and wet before he penetrates you at all. Possibly use a lubricant gel as well? And make sure you're relaxed (mental tension causes a physical contraction of the muscles, in many cases quite a noticeable one). Being too 'tensed up' could be the culprit, there are plenty of muscles 'down there' of course. Are you worried about anything in particualr? Expecting it to hurt will wind up your stress/tension levels, make you tense-up and make it more likely to hurt. A vicious circle! A glass or two of wine before sex might help you relax for a while (alcohol does have this effect on muscles), help break the 'cycle' we just described. Don't get hammered though, just a relaxing amount!! I can't think of a position as it were that will stop it. I mean the guy's got to be inside you to qualify as having sex. There are various non-specific geneto-urinary (ie affecting your gentials and urinary tracts) infections that can afflict the area. Maybe you have a mild one, that having sex irritates and causes some inflammation...but when you're not having sex it's too mild to have any noticable symptoms? Need an inspection by a doctor to investigate this. Sex might even be a little painful (in the 'muscular' sense if your physically a bit fatigued/tired, a little 'under the weather' (as they say), just not in the mood, or if it goes on a bit too long. My reply seems a bit of a 'scatter gun' approach...firing a rather (very?) broad spread of possibilities. Hope I might have shed a little light or come up with something you hadn't thought of yourself? Have a chat if you want to thrash out anything we've touched on in more detail. Best wishes.
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