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Masturbation in the eyes of the church
I was a child of the '60s and raised in the Catholic Church and am a practising Catholic today. As a young person I struggled a great deal with the Church's position on Sexuality and Masturbation and according to the teachings of that era, committed Mortal sins on a daily basis. I would like to see opinions, comments, and advice from others who have lived through the same circumstances, how you dealt with it, and how you deal with it now. It seams the urge never fully goes away. If there are any Catholic Priests out there, I'd love to hear from you too! I have never fully understood the Church's position on human sexuality.
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The position of the Catholic Church is pretty straightforward. In order for sexual acts to NOT be sinful, they must take place between a married man and woman, they must be unitive and it must be open to procreation.
As far as the doctrine is concerned, everything else is a misuse of a bodies sexual functions - contrary to to God's intentions for human sexuality. Everything else is sinful. I find it a bit archaic and absurd to try and play what my friends and I used to call 'Sin Bingo' and try to figure out what 'type' of sin masturbation is, but the obvious and clear intention of the doctrine is that sex is only okay between a couple who have been unified through the Catholic sacrament of marriage, when there is no intentional interference with the real possibility of pregnancy.
There are certainly Catholic leaders who disagree with that, and choose to take a more liberal interpretation, but those are just that - interpretations.
How do most Catholics deal with the this doctrine?
They disagree with it, and they ignore It.
If you genuinely want to know how most Catholic's cope. That's the answer. It's widely thought to be an absurd doctrine and it is ignored.
The same way they widely ignore the Church's stance on birth control. A 2013 survey by the Pew Research Center found that over 75% of U.S. Catholics think the church should permit members to use birth control to prevent pregnancy (at the moment the Church allows it as treatment for other medical conditions so long as it's not the intention of either married person to prevent a pregnancy) and that upwards of 90% of Catholic women have used birth control in own their lives.
They surveys on masturbation aren't as clear (the most recent study was performed by the Catholic Church itself, and they aren't sharing the results, at least not yet) but the same fundamentally holds true - a huge majority of Catholics think the Vatican is ass-backwards and they ignore it in their day to day lives, and have been ignoring it for decades - and probably centuries before we had surveys too!
If you believe that the Catholic doctrine on faith and morality is infallible (as the Church claims) then by all means you should live by it, and either not masturbate, or go to confession if/when you do, but since you asked about other Catholics, I think it's worth mentioning that Catholicism isn't a democracy, and most Catholics - including lay persons, theologians and priests - simply don't accept the Church's teaching on masturbation at all. Despite that, there are still people who do accept that Church's teaching on masturbation, and I'm sure they have filled up many websites and forums with advice and support for people who choose not to masturbate for religious reasons.
I was raised Catholic, and there are a whole bunch of doctrinal issues I find far, far more concerning then the prohibition against masturbation, but frankly, trying figure out the Catholic Church's position on any particular aspect of human sexuality by shifting through thousands of years of opinions, theology and a ton of archaic rules that were put into effect, then taken back, or reworded, or re-interpreted... it's exhausting. I don't recommend it. The basics are simple: Masturbation is definitely not okay under the current teaching, and those teachings are unlikely to change, despite the fact they are really not widely accepted at all.
If you feel you've sinned, and want to follow Catholic teaching, then go to confession, but if you honestly can't accept the Church's teaching on this subject, well, you are in good company. It's my opinion that you should feel free to pursue being a decent and caring person over being a by-the-book Catholic.
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I can't claim any similar personal experience, but I can add a little 'background' and hope it helps. It's not unusual to find religious belief systems taking a moral objection to masturbation. And they had a powerful ally in a medical theory that existed from around 1900 to 1930ish. It was thought that semen was a bodily fluid essential to the wellbeing of the body and particularly for the correct functioning of the brain. And so if a guy was to let this precious fluid leak away needlessly and copiously by masturbating...then he'd certainly end up a physically wasted gibbering lunatic!! Needless to say this idea is long discredited and entirley disproven. The incorrect 'fact' was widely misunderstood by the public at large (as they so often are), hence in their eyes, masturbating, for guys (and girls, somehow) was a dangerous thing, to be discouraged. The religious authorities were right all along, now science has proved it! The notion was still prevalent by the 1960's in the minds of many. The myth was perpetuated (again, as they so often are). We know now it is harmless, physically and mentally. Whatever your sex or age. I despair a bit when a young girl or guy writes to this forum wracked with fear that they are mastubating, and it's wrong...a sin...it's evil...it'll damage them physically or mentally. I'm thinking "Jeez..it's 2014...how's this idea still out there???" But if a girl for instance, starts "I enjoy masturbating...is there some way to make it feel even better..." etc then one sees a young person informed and in touch with their own body and their repsonses...and not having irrational guilt piled up on them via 'misinformation' and/or draconian religious doctrine. And a bloody good thing too. There is no more negative emotion than misplaced guilt. It achieves absolutely nothing of any merit in a person. If one wishes to object to masturbation on relgious grounds, that is their choice and right as a human. But backing it up with obsolete scientific/medical 'facts' is devious and morally/ethically wrong in my opinion. Good luck in your search.
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I too was a devout church goer. Remained pure until my wedding day. Discovered that my husband and I were sexually mismatched, not able to inspire passion and desire in each other but even when we forced ourselves to have sex, he didn't want to do it as often as I. And so I as a female, masturbated a lot. I struggled with feeling guilty until I got really good at hearing from God. The Holy Spirit tested me a lot, giving me scripture verses to give someone, or a person to go ask if I could pray for cus they have a headache even though there was no outward sign. Once I found that I was correctly hearing because the situations were exactly that which God was telling me, I could then listen to what else God had to tell me. I would ask questions and you bet, masturbation and sexuality was some of them. What a heard is that well meaning people misunderstood some things and so came up with the rules and doctrines they did. Masturbation is not a sin, thats what I was told for one thing. And having sexual thoughts is not either. We're told thats the same as commiting adultery. Our thoughts and what we say, mean nothing. Its by our actions that our fruit is shown.
Remember the parable of the two sons, One told the father I wont' do it, but later he did, the other said yes I will but never did. Who did the fathers will? End result, its not what we think or say that matters, its what we do. The mind is known to be our greatest sexual organ. I see nothing wrong with fantasy between a husband and wife, role play if you will. My husband and I do and enjoy the experience.
So how I dealt with what the churches stance is on sexuality, is to go to the source. I would suggest you do the same. This way we by pass all the misinterpretations or outright hysteria about the subject. A person can be a sexual creature and a godly creature all at the same time. God gave us our sexuality and our libido's for a good reason, to enjoy them (responsibly) not to be tested and tortured to abstain from enjoying self pleasuring or with a partner.
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