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humorist-workshop
6 weeks pregnant
So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years and he has a child from a previous relationship. I love her to death and think of her as my own. After he had his daughter he received a vasectomy so he wouldn't have another accidental pregnancy. well a few weeks ago I started getting abdominal pains and throwing up. I didn't think it was a possibility but I took a pregnancy test just to be sure. Well low and behold it came out positive. Twice. So we go into the doctors and they run a test and confirm I am 6 weeks along. Well, I am still going through school and right now my mom is dealing with cancer. I feel like having a baby is just not the path for us right now. I want to own a home and have a life set before we involve another child. We went in and found out his vasectomy did not hold and that Is why we got pregnant. We will be getting his vasectomy redone and we are strongly leaning towards terminating my pregnancy. I feel guilty and horrible but if I can't give my child a proper life it isn't time yet. We both did briefly consider but ultimately we have decided to end it. Is it natural to feel emotional about this? I feel like I am letting go of a child I will never get to know and feel bad they don't get the chance. (So I don't need anyone preaching about it being wrong it is my body)
I also have to decided to opt for the pill. What are the side effects and what should I expect? Is this going to make me even more emotional? And how long will it be before I get my period again? Any advice both to cope emotionally or to help me prepare my body would be helpful.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
It's normal to experience some conflicted feelings about terminating a pregnancy, no matter what you choose.
I'm not 100% sure, but it sounds like you mean you've opted for the medication abortion to terminate your pregnancy - rather than surgical. Frankly, you are lucky. Most women live in places that don't even give them that choice.
You'll want to ask the doctor or nurse at the clinic your questions as well, but generally a medical abortion is a very safe, and very reliable way to terminate an early pregnancy. It's very uncomfortable, usually described as a really extreme period, with more blood and more cramping than usual. Your next period may be a bit delayed, but the body generally goes back to normal pretty quickly. There is nothing you need to do to prepare your body, you just need to be prepared for a bit of rough ride through the symptoms. Just take care of yourself the same way you would if you were having really bad cramps.
Medical abortions wont 'make you more emotional' like taking a normal birth control pill each day might. It's a quick, intense dosage, that doesn't have the lasting effecting on your body chemistry.
You are letting go of the possibility of being a parent right now. It's okay, even good, to acknowledge that that is exactly what you and your partner are choosing. There are people out there who think a fetus is the equivalent to a child - I don't accept that spiritual belief, and I suspect you don't either if you are seriously considering abortion - but a fetus is the idea of a child for you and your partner, and it's okay to grieve giving up on that idea and the loss of that potential in your lives right now. It's If you are confident in your reasons and your choice, then it's okay to also experience some sadness, even regret. Regretting something, or feeling sad about it, doesn't necessarily mean it's the wrong thing.
One third of American women opt for abortion at some point in their lives. Some of them will experience sorrow or regret, and the media likes those stories, because they are interesting. But most studies show women who choose abortion, although it's extremely complicated and they may feel regret, rarely claim they think they made the wrong choice.
The best thing you can do is keep talking and asking questions, of yourself, your healthcare providers, your partner, and anyone else you can turn to for support in your life. It's a tough choice, but one way or the other, it's a choice you'll make and live with, and you'll be okay.
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First things first. Right now you are in the first trimester of a pregnancy and your hormones are running wild. You are going to be very emotional because of this one factor. Then add in all the other pressures you have and yes the churned up emotions you are feeling are normal.
You are also correct in that this is your body and ultimately your decision. What you are feeling is also normal.
As for the decision to go on the pill, that is a good one also. As to having his vasectomy redone you may want to rethink that if you wish to have children by him in the future. If the vasectomy self reversed, which does happen, it is one thing. Medical reversal of a vasectomy resulting in the ability to impregnate someone are not that successful.
The pill is almost 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Back that up with condom usage and you should not have to worry about accidental pregnancy.
As to your questions about the pill. I'm not a doctor and if I was I'm not your doctor. Since everyone's physiology is different the side effects as well as how the pill will effect you will be different. I would suggest you research the different medication available and then discuss with your doctor which in his or her mind is the best medication for you based on his or her knowledge of you.
You have every right to question your doctors choices. An informed patient is a healthier patient.
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