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I'm young & can't decide if I want to have sex or not.
ok, so I'm 15 years old I know I'm young. But I started birth control for my pms but I want to start having sex. Part of me wants to wait for marriage but another part of me just really wants to do it. I really don't know what to do. I know the perfect guy to do it with but I don't know if I should. Can someone just help me I really don't know what to do.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Let me start with the fact that I'm old enough to be your grandfather. As such I am going to offer some grandfatherly advice. At the end you will find a link I offer to young ladies like yourself who have questions about whether or not they are ready to have sex. This link will do a much better job of answering you questions then I can. You are not the first young lady to ask this question and when I answered the first to ask me this question is when I found this link. Most have written back to tell me they found it educational and quite useful in answering there questions.
Let me start by saying this about sex. Especially things you may not know about sex and young men. You have a lifetime to enjoy sex. Sex is not a sport as most young men see it or is it a way to pass some time.
Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with another person. For the women it means having her body invaded by someone. This invasion is made more painful for her if certain conditions she needs to have are not present for her to enjoy the intimacy of the act.
What might those conditions be. The most important of those conditions are the ones that allow the women to relax and enjoy the act of intercourse. Most importantly the first time she has sex.
COMFORT: is one of those conditions. In my day and may still happen, sex was done in the back seat of the old mans car. Cars were bigger back then allowing you to stretch out across the seat. Still it was not the most comfortable place.
SECURITY: Is very important. One should be able to relax and take your time when having sex. IF you are concerned that yours or his parents are going to come home or in someway walk in on you then you cannot properly relax.
SAFETY: Not just from intrusion but in terms of pregnancy protect, protection from STDS and HIV/AIDS. As well as the safety and security of the location.
Then their is your reputation at your age to be concerned about. There is and old saying that the fastest way to send a message is to telephone, telegraph or tell a woman. They left out a boy bragging about his sexual experiences. Sex is something boys cannot keep a secrete about. They will tell their best friend who tells someone else and with the aid of social media today, you have a reputation you may not want.
There is one other thing to know about boys. They confuse lust and love. To then lust is love. Many will say to their girlfriends; "if you
me you will have sex with me." This boy does not love you. He lusts for you. Boys and girls of your age group have much different definitions of love. Any boy who says that to a girl should be sent packing.
What I am about to say may sound old fashioned and it is for someone your age. As your age group gets older it will not be as old fashioned as it sounds today. Your virginity is a very special gift that should be saved for that very special person in your life.
Know I am not that old fashion as to tell you to wait until your wedding night. It would be hypocritical of most people my age and younger to say so. What I am saying is 15 is way to young. You will have many more boyfriends between know and college. In college you may meet that special person or the person you believe will be the on.
Until then there are other ways to satisfy sexual desires. Both yours and your future boyfriends without having intercourse. Think about this and use the link below to have most of the questions you have answered.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location).
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The best thing to do is wait because that perfect guy might not be so perfect afterwards and birth control doesn't always work my mom got pregnant four times while on birth control anyways my point is don't take chances you should wait
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Sex is something that needs to be thought about for a long time.
What are your reasons for wanting to have sex? If it's just simply to have sex, then you might wanna wait awhile.
These are some good ways to know whether you're ready for sex.
-If you know all the risks about having sex. Ex. Pregnancy and STIs
-You know how to prevent those risks. Ex. Birth control and condoms.
-If something doesn't go right, you'd be able to handle having a baby or an abortion. Also, make sure you'd be able this guy being in your life forever. Who knows what could happen to where you guys would get stuck together.
-You're legal. The age of consent varies state to state. So you'd have to look into that. You and your partner could end up in serious trouble if you're under age.
-If you trust your partner. You're completely vulnerable with you have sex with someone. If you don't know how he'd treat you the day after or the day after that, you shouldn't have sex with him.
-You're prepared for an awful time. The first time having sex is painful. There's a good chance it won't be that much fun, romantic or sexy.
-You're not being pressured and you're doing it for you.
You know you're not ready when you're doubting it.
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Hey there,
Honestly, there isn't a right answer. Personally, I would advise against having sex at your age. It can wait. You have so much of your life left to live, and waiting for marriage is a great idea. Sex is an intimate, wonderful thing, and when that is paired with the emotions and feelings of healthy marriage, it makes the sex (and the marriage) that much better.
Either choice you make, you have to be prepared for what people will say. If you wait, like I have, people might think you're a prude, or weird, or not having sex because no one wants to have sex with you. If you choose to have sex, people might call you a slut or a whore. Honestly, I'd rather be called overly cautious than loose with my morals.
Finally, I know you think you've found "the perfect guy." I'm going to caution you now: most high school relationships don't last. People aren't done growing (emotionally, physically, or cognitively) until their early 20's. You'd be surprised at how much a person can change once they leave high school and go to college or enter the work force. And if you choose to have sex with your boy, remember that you probably won't be sharing that wonderful, new, once-in-a-lifetime experience with your husband, but rather with your high school crush.
Hope this helps!
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