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weight problems
I am 13 and about 5 feet tall. I weigh 100 lbs. Now, before you say that is super skinny, and blah blah, let me tell you some things.
I am an A34 chest size and my stomach sticks out much farther than my breats.
My stomach almost hangs over my pants.
This is one reason I cut myself. (I have been for a year)
Am I overweight or should I lose weight?
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No, you don't sound overweight. It just sounds like your body is still growing. Plus everybody's body frame is different. As average you should be wearing around 100 pounds so you're fine.
When I was around your age, my body was up and down and it was very stressful to me. I was so obsessed with how I looked.
At your age, it's normal for your stomach to stick out farther than your breasts. You're still in early puberty. Some girls mature faster than others.
If you're seriously concerned, go see a doctor. They know best.
As for cutting, you need professional help. This is a serious problem and it can get worse. You need to stop before it does get worse. You're definitely not alone though. So many people go through cutting, it's sad and disappointing really. But you should see a counselor or therapist. They'll help you find better ways to solve your problems and relieve stress rather than hurting yourself because it's simply just causing more problems and it isn't solving yours at all.
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There are actually two questions that need to be addressed here. First is your weight and second is your cutting. The most important one is cutting and I will address it last as it requires more of you then your weight does.
As far as your weight is concerned it depends on your frame size. If you are small framed you are about the perfect weight. If you are large framed you are about 2o pounds under weight. The person to best make this call is your doctor for your doctor knows you best.
At your present age weight should not be a fixation. You are just now truly entering puberty. The fact that your belly sticks out further than you breasts is not a big deal as both your breasts and stomach muscles are still developing as is your figure. To help your figure you need to exercise to strengthen your abdominal wall and muscles. Talk with your physical education teacher about what exercises would help.
Now you're going to tell me other girls have better figures than you and they are your age or younger. I will tell you that each of you are different and develop at different rates. Give yourself a break and give your body time to mature properly. You will get the figure you are going to get in time. Puberty is something you will continue to deal with in to your early twenties. You are just going to have to be patient. Hormones awoken by puberty work at their own pace.
Right now you need to have your mother's permission to have your hormone levels checked. Next year when you are 14 you can ask the doctor without parental permission to check your hormones if you feel you are not maturing fast enough.
Now for the cutting. Cutting is bad for many reasons. First it is dangerous as you could cut in the wrong place or to deep and bleed out before help arrives. If you cut around your wrist, the wrist has both veins and arteries running through it. If you cut an artery you can bleed out in less than a minute.
Then there is the scarring. You will never be able to hide the scars they will always be there. Even with plastic surgery there will be scars. What plastic surgery does is try to reduce the scars by moving them into natural creases in your skin but the scars remain for life a constant reminder of what was.
You say your weight and body image is one reason for cutting. The other reason(s) you do not elaborate on. People who cut are generally feeling depressed for some reason. The cutting is an attempt to relieve the stress that causes the depression.
Teenage depression is more common than parents want to believe. At one time it was seen as a phase children went through. Well doctors know better now and they can help those teenagers who like you may be suffering from teenage depression.
You need to be screened for depression. This takes a visit to your doctor who will ask you a series of questions. Based on your answers a determination will be made as to if you are suffering from a form of depression. Your doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist. Don't let the doctors title upset you. A psychiatrist is a MD who has advanced training in psychiatry. Since teenage depression is generally caused by a deficiency of a hormone or hormones secreted into the brain. The psychiatrist is best trained to medicate and treat you the your family doctor or pediatrician. Yes it is that simple.
Both doctors may prescribe talk therapy with a psychologist to help you find out and deal properly with whatever is the stressor(s) that are causing the depression. The psychologist is someone you can talk to in total confidence, meaning what is said does not get back to your parents.
My advice is. Talk to you parents about your cutting and ask for help. There is no reason you need to suffer with the pain you are feeling. There is help but you must ask for it.
Your proper weight is something you need to discuss with your doctor. Fixating on your body image at this age is wrong and is part of you depressive issue. You will continue to mature that I can promise you. You just cannot hurry nature.
Please ask for help with the cutting and the rest of your problems will be resolved as well.
Just for the record, I am old enough to be your grandfather and have gone through this with my children and my nieces as well. I am also a retired firefighter and have run more than enough rescue calls for children and adults who cut themselves. I have been fortunate to arrive in time to save most of them but not all of them.
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