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Place or Keep the baby?
I'm 25 and just found out I'm pregnant... I have a huge situation here and it will be extremely easy to judge and say cruel things so if you are that type of person, leave now. I made mistakes and am ready to deal with the consequences but that doesn't mean that I am not a human being who needs help. So those of you who are real and really want to help and give advice that isn't rude, please help me.
The father of my child is married and I doubt he will be involved in any way other than child support which he has already agreed to... which is fine. I can't really blame him... his wife is aware and wants him to ditch us... again, can't really blame him.
I want to keep this baby so much. I already love it and I know I would be a good mom but at the same time I feel like the situation is too cruel to bring a child into. I know a LOT of single moms who do it alone and are great but given the circumstances... and where I don't have any schooling after high school... would it be better to place the baby for adoption? I already know how the adoption process works... I am extremely familiar with it, it's just a matter of if it's right for me and the baby.
Positive, helpful advice only please and as much as possible. 5
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Adoption?
This is an impossible question for any of us to answer for you as it is hugely personal.
What I believe is the right thing to do is whatever is right for the child. No matter how much you love this child if you do not feel you can do right by this child. Which includes not only all the love you have but food, clothing, shelter, medical and dental care as well as schooling and everything else that goes into raising a child. Then maybe putting the child up for adoption is the right thing to do.
The worst thing you can do is say 2, 5, 10 years down the road end up hating this child for the position you find yourself in at that time. That is wrong and that does happen. This is when child abuse happens. I'm not saying you are the type of person who would abuse her child. I'm just saying that this is an underlying cause of a single parent abusing their child.
Your decision has to be in what is in the best interest of the child. Yes; it is going to hurt to give the child up for adoption. You can have more children when you marry and have a husband to help support and nurture the child. This child has only one life and it should be the best chance at life you can give it.
You asked for an our opinion this has been mine. I'm not judging you. At 25 you are an adult who has every right to a sex life. You did not make a mistake in getting pregnant, it happens. Just who you made the baby with might be filed under that heading. If anyone wants or thinks they can or should be judgmental about it, that's their problem not yours. I believe you will do what you feel is right for this child.
I hope I have helped you.
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How big of a support system do you have with family?
If you are going to go to work to support baby, who is watching baby? You can't afford to work to give most of it to a daycare provider. It would fall to a family member who is willing and free to watch the baby for you. As for a male influence in baby's life, uncles, or grandpa's work well if they were willing to do things with baby as he/she grows up.
At 25, you could still easily come across and start dating a nice single guy who is really crazy about you and willing to take on someone elses child. If you put the child up for adoption and later find a guy, it would be too late to get your child back and be a family with your child part of it.So it really depends on your family. Talk to mom and dad, your grandparents, sisters and brothers, even your aunts, and see if anyone is willing to help you out. It can't be pushed on them. If it's something you really want to try, tell them why you want to do that. If it doesn't come together, at least you'll know you tried. Good luck hon.
But if you decide to put baby for adoption, there are people who are willing to allow the birth mother to be part of the babys life as it grows up knowing who its birth mother is.
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If you think you can take care of the baby and you're financially stable or possibly get some help from friends or family, that should help with your decision.
If you don't think you can take care of the baby, then you know you shouldn't keep the child.
You'll know if it's right for you and the baby. Think about the situation, make sure you know the pros and cons of each.
I hope this helped a little. Good luck, everything will turn out fine.
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Ok so you are 25 now and pregnant. You are out of high school so I guess you live alone? And you must have a job, I'm guessing? You love your unborn child alreayd (I find that really sweet:D) If you feel like you can support the child, and if you want to keep it, DO IT! Kepp your baby if you are finacially stable. You could also always ask your parents for help and advice. I hope this helped, and I wish you and your unborn child luck :)
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