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Are apologies the topic in etiquette
When i said something rude to a friend i thought about my bad behaviour and wanted more than anything to take it all back. I guess sometimes we all make mistakes. Boy, this is a big one. I am 58 and she is around my age. I just feel stupid. Any help please. Roger
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You should definitely apologize. It really helps friendships.
Although she might not forgive you right away, but at least you did the right thing and apologized. It shows that you actually care and you do feel bad about you said. It's good for her to know that.
So don't try to make an excuse as to why you said it, just explain that it wasn't right of you and that you do want to apologize.
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You need to be able to figure yourself out before you simply say I am sorry, I wish I could take it back. While its nice to hear an apology....if the other person can not be explained to in detail what was going on in your mind to get you to react as you did, then it will be harder to empathise and not worry about it happening again.
You have your conscious mind and your subconscious mind. Your sub is the one who has control of all your emotions and is like the inner child in you...in good ways and in bad. You know how a little kid mad at the rules parents enforced will blurt out, I hate you! Do they really hate the parents? No. They are angry they did not get what they wanted. Once they have recovered, its a good time for the parent to talk to the child. You explain how you are teaching them something that is important, a skill they will need to learn to get along in school in life with everyone else. That doesn't mean life can't still be fun. If they can agree to really go by the game plan, you will give them something special every once in a while they really like.
So here, it is your conscious mind asking yourself, or your subconscious, why it reacted as it did and said something rude. Maybe you are fighting yourself. Maybe your conscious mind really likes your friend but your subconscious does not like her. I'm not saying its that but it could be as simple as that. Keep asking yourself, is it because of this, because of that. When you ask the right question, your subconscious will provide the answer, it will pop into your head.
Adults can say & do things like this that make them feel stupid because we reason, we are adults, we should know better. So many of us don't know and won't know until a basic outline of psychology is taught to all high school students to prepare them for adult life. If we can all come to understand our subconscious minds like the other you inside of you, like a separate personality and treat it as such, with concerns for its feelings, and welfare, then there would be more happy adults.
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