Member Since: January 9, 2012
Answers: 3
Last Update: May 13, 2016
Visitors: 685
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23/f, 29/m
Yes, the subject says it all. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me again. This wasn't the first or second time. This is kind of the same reason from before.. He doesn't see a future with me.
Yesterday, I saw him and things were perfectly fine. But I felt that something was off and his reaction to me a few days ago, telling him that we've been together for about two years, was strange. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that he's been thinking lately.
He told me that he watched his friend's marriages fail, my parents are getting divorced, his brother's relationship go on and off and it made him realize that he didn't want to waste my time. He said the foundation of our relationship wasn't very strong because of the trust issues that we had, it made things difficult. He said he wanted to have a marriage that had a solid foundation and that the relationship won't end, and he didn't see that with us. He said it wasn't that he wanted to replace me but that he thinks I should replace him so I can find someone I want to marry by the age I wanted. He said that he knows that I had a particular age that I wanted to get married. He said that he didn't see a future with me. He said that he was happy with me and that I'm a wonderful person, but he didn't see a future with me. He said he didn't see our happiness as a long-term thing.
Part of me knew this was going to happen, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't suck to hear it. But then it got conflicting and frustrated because he said that he takes full responsibility about what happened in our relationship (his lies, betrayal, etc). But it got conflicting because he told me that he still loves me.
After thinking for awhile and crying here and there, I told him that I guess that it makes sense. I always told myself that I wanted to be with someone who would put in the effort to be with me and that no matter what happens, he'd still want to be with me. I told him that I noticed that I wasn't really a priority for him. That I was to be with someone who loved his job, but loved me a little more (not in the way he won't go to work, but if I was to commute elsewhere if we were married, if we'd move). And because I wanted that from him, I kept making him a priority and I kept treating him the way I wanted to be treated to finally have him treat me the same way... But it wasn't making things better, it just kept getting worse. That he saw it, but just didn't do anything about it.
And he told me that he did and that I was a priority and that he loved me more than he loves his job, etc. It felt awfully conflicting because his actions said otherwise. He always did this. Every time I bring something up and makes me realize why we weren't the right fit (just agreeing with his point), he makes a counter-argument trying to say that we were the right fit.
Then he said that he'll still go with me to my best friend's wedding if I'd like him to and that we can watch the last season of FRIENDS together if I'd like. It just made me feel really confused.
In the end, I felt really sad, confused, and frustrated. It just seemed like he was saying, "Hey, we are perfect for each other. We want the same things, but we just don't have the right foundation for it. I love you, though. Bye."
What should I do? Do you think he's going to come back and talk with me again? Do you think he's doing this on purpose and trying to see if I still care for him? I don't understand what he's trying to do. (link)
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Please take this to heart:
When someone shows you who they are..BELIEVE THEM.
I have absolutely no desire to be with someone who doesn't wish to be with me. As for going to a wedding with you and watching tv with you, any friend can do that, i would certainly expect more from a boyfriend.
This guy plays to many games/mind games. High school is over and so should the kid games he plays.
Unless you wish to continue to be a puppet on a string...i would cut the strings and ties with him and move on.
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I am a senior in high school. Female. I have know this particular boy since the 7th grade. This year he is in my Government class. He seemed so cute at first and we started texting as more than friends. Maybe he didn't get the memo that we were flirting hard. Then one day in class, I saw his lock screen on his Iphone set as a picture of my Freshman cousin.. So he laughed and said he was just joking but later he told me he was talking to her.
A few days later he told me he was taking her on a date but that she stood him up so that he no longer liked him. I didn't care. Me and my cousin aren't close at all
So we started talking again for about 2 weeks until he makes it quiet clear that he ONLY wants sex from me. He, at first, told me he wanted sex and I, for some reason, didn't want to disappoint him so I played along and acted as if I would actually do that. But then he texted me and wanted me to sneak over, and when I didn't he told me that if we didn't have sex that he wouldn't talk to me anymore. So yes, He is an asshole. I know.
But WHY can't I stop thinking about him, Facebook stalking him, flirting with him in class (despite him making fun of me), and wishing SO BAD he would like me?! (link)
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theres this thing, it's called self respect, sounds like you need some. why would you want to be with somebody who sees you as nothing more than a piece of *ss? one thing you need to learn sweetie, you cant MAKE anybody like you, either they do or they dont. put your energies elsewhere where they will be more appreciated. you deserve more than this one-track minded idiot can give you sweetie.
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On December 30th 2011, someone from a dating site that I am on asked me out. We went to dinner, and hung out and we immediately hit it off very well. We’ll call him Connor. Connor seemed like a great guy. So that night, against everything that I believed in, I asked him to my family New Year’s Eve party at my house for the following night. He said yes, and the next night he came. Connor did not consume a drop of alcohol the entire night. My family loved him and so did all of our friends. That night, as he got into his car to drive home, I told him to call me when he got home (which was an hour drive) so that I know he made it there ohkay. I tried calling him, and did not hear from him until 4pm the following day. He told me that he had gotten cut off by a drunk driver, drove his car up a median, and had to wait for AAA to tow his car to his parents’ house. His parents were out of town for the weekend. He called me frantic, and said he didn’t know how he’s get to work in the morning without a car, and that his parents were going to have to cut their vacation short to come and bring him money. I asked him how much he needed, he said $180, so I gave it to him, and we both agreed that he would pay me back the next day when his direct deposit hit his account. That was Sunday. I did not hear from him again until I believe Thursday. He called me saying that he had been in and out of the hospital, getting surgery for pinched nerves in his shoulder and he asked if I could come pick him up. He told me that he had the money he owed me. So I drove up there, picked him up, and he handed me a check for $410.98, written to me from his aunt. He asked me to deposit it into my account, and give him the remainder. This request struck me as odd, but I did it. I expressed to him, at this time, that I was upset that he hadn’t gotten in touch with me earlier. On January 10th, he called me at 2pm and said he has a surprise for me: he was going to take me to the Jets/Bruins game in Boston. He knows I’m a huge fan so I immediately said yes. He asked me to bring $280 in cash, so that we could pick up the tickets from someone from ACE tickets that he was meeting, and that we would then have dinner with his family at a restaurant and his father would reimburse me then. So, I drove an hour+ to Boston, picked him up, and drove him to the supposed location of these tickets. I handed him the $280, and he said he’s be right back in 5 min. I waited two hours, he never came back. I’m not familiar with the Boston area, so I panicked and called him quite a few times. He answered for the first hour, and kept saying that he’s 5 min away .. but he never came back. For the last hour, he stopped answering his phone, so I just went home; out of the cash, and out of the tickets. I have not heard from this guy since. I have tried texting and calling him. I don’t have an address for him. All I have is the address for his aunt that was written on the check. My friend’s uncle in a police officer and said that there is absolutely nothing that we can do because its “his word against mine.” But I was hoping if any of you could find something in this story to help bring this jerk to justice, I would really appreciate it! Thank you for reading, I know this was lengthy! (link)
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lets break this down shall we?
you met a guy off the computer and had one date. before inviting ANY person you do not know into your home several dates should be a prerequisite and at least some basic background info. you even said this was against your better judgement. you could have put your family and friends at risk..he could have staked out your house for a future break-in.
if he really did have a car accident that is unfortunate. but if he had a phone to call AAA then he had a phone to call you so you wouldn't worry. waiting until 4:00 pm the next day to contact you...uncool. as for his parents cutting thier vacation short to bring him money...there's this wonderful invention...it's called western union or money transfer..he's full of sh*t.
offering somebody money so early on in any kind of relationship is very unwise. but since you did....you did. it was understood that it was to be paid back the next day and it was not and on top of that you didn't hear anything until five days later? that is when ALL ties should have been cut. common sense people...common sense
in and out of the hospital..blah,blah,blah....bullsh*t...excuses.
you deposited the check his aunt gave him to repay you. thats all fine and well. but any amount above that payed to him was not wise...what if the check bounced? and besides..what does he think you are?...a bank?
and do we even need to go into the boston trip? i hate to say it but that was YOUR stupidity. I know this sounds harsh, but why sugarcoat it?
you probably don't have a legal ground to stand on but i would AT THE LEAST write to his aunt and tell her what a worthless piece of sh*t her nephew is..but i have a feeling she may already know.
listen sweetie, we've all been had at one time or another...that's the way of life...but be smart..and take this as a learning experience to never let this happen again.
and oh yeah honey, trust me, what goes around...comes around. you cant do people wrong like that and not pay for it. someday, somehow in someway he will get his.
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