about

do not pity the dead, pity the living, and those who do not know love.-unknown

i sit here quietly and close my eyes
feeling the warmth enter my body.
it's summer-it's sun.
what sun? i'm in love with the son.

the most beautiful creature in the sea.
the most beautiful creature in the desert.
walking by the sand, and thinking.
just thinking.

advice

Ok this is going to be kind of long because I'm going to sort of rant. But anyway all my life I've gone to a Catholic School and my family is like really religous and filled with good wholesome morals. I was raised and taught to be the same my whole life and up until now I haven't hesistated at all to play the "good girl".

But lately, I don't know what happened to me. I've taken a complete 180 degree turn and I'm sort of ashamed at who I've become. I'm sixteen and about to go in my senior year of high school. I've been drinking like a LOT and partying. I've been sneaking out, lying to my parents and everyone around me. I never go where I tell my parents I go, and usually end up driving out of town in the middle of the night (which I'm not allowed to do AT all) and sleeping at my boyfriends house, and with people I really don't even know. Now I started smoking cigarettes and been smoking those a LOT. (about 7-8 a day) and now I'm also starting to smoke like weed too. To top it off, my parents are HUGE on abstinence and I just set up an appoinment at a clinic to go on birth control.

It seems like I'm losing who I was, and I'm not strong enough to stay the way I was.

Too be honest, I'm really scared. I mean I love doing what I do, but at the same time I'm scared of how much I changed and the kind of person I'm becoming. I'm doing things that I always used to be against, and if my parents ever found out they'd literally disown me. Also, my religion prohibits all these activites and I'm also scared of how quickly my religous and moral being are deteroriating.

I don't really know what advice I'm asking, but am I like a "bad kid"? I do keep my grades really high in school and plan on attending a high rate college, but I feel like thats not enough. Basically, I'm just really scared. So any help would be appreciated I guess...

whatever advice i give you, you can either take it, or leave it...use your best judgement.

first of all, and foremost..you are not a bad person.
second of all...i'm not going to tell you how to run your life, because you know who you are, and you are a good person, just so confused in your faith.
don't be afraid or ashamed for partying and drinking, accept it, and forgive yourself. it's okay that you drink, sure, it's your life, sure, probably because there is so much pressure from your parents to do good, but then again it might not be.

but because your said that your parents would literally disown you, i sense that they don't know. they puty too much on you, and all you should do is step back away from everything, even school, and don't catogorize yourself as either a bad or good person. everyone is good.


you just need to pray. sounds simple, but it's harder. don't do all these prayers like the "our father" or whatever, say something to God, and mean it. talk to Him, and really just let Him take all your worries. He really listens. and when you ask for him to help you, he will, although you may not realizre it. He speaks through your coinscience, people, things, and nature.

trust me on this, but if you just relax, pray and you'll get though this.

you may be thinking, rite, what would i know, but seriously, i used to be such a nut case, and full of anger until i could just explode, and i prayed and prayed, and i got angrier because of pressure, untile i did explode. but someone was there for me.

is there someone there for you?

i know you are scared of life. so what if you smoke weed, sneak out, drink, and party? don't think about your parents this time when i say this...but think about yourself.think about what has those things have done to you. coming to an advice site becasue you don't know what else to do.

if you do let God have your worries, and i mean really let him have it, you'll be in total peace, and you'll be happy. you just need to choose to be happy. happiness is a choice. so is hatred.

"FEAR prevents love; LOVE prevents fear"

crying help it too, just in confusion or total anger, don't get angered and hot headed with your parents, stay in your room, lock the door, go on your bed, and lay down, close your eyes, relax, and cry. it'll make you think of horrioble things but it opens you up, and makes you feel so vunerable. in that state, talk to God. because your open.

i hope you do take my advice, i really do. you can go places, if you are willing to take that first step. you'll get through this. but it's your desicion. and it won't be easy.

no one is asking you to be perfect or "ms. Goody two shoes" just be.

-greenty

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just like any ...friends... or a romantic one..

I'm considering one.. and I need opinions..

what do YOU think of online relationships?

whatever advice i give you, you can either take it or leave it. use your best judgement.

ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS aren't completely bad, but isn't a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

if you can't talk to them in person, how do you know or how can you tell what they are hiding? they could be hiding their whole life, and lying to you.

take a chance, just protect your heart.

-greeness

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14/f

OK...so i'll try and make this short...me && this guy named jonathan have liked eachother for about 1 month now. we would talk on myspace and call eachother sometimes. then two days ago we got into a stupid argument that was pointless but, it was VERYY minor. WE GOT OVER IT...so he was suppose to ask me out but, he didn't. and he posted a bulletin on myspace saying that he was taken and loving it. i thought he meant me,,but I found out yesterday he's back with his ex. He didn't even tell me..my best friend did.. and when i found out, i was CRUSHED.. i was in tears and i couldn't believe that i was actually going through this again.[this happened w/ another guy].. and my friend told me that even though he's back with his ex,,he still has feelings for me. AND I'M HIS #1 ON MYSPACE..if that even matters...

so my questions are:

should i still talk to him??!! ..what's the point he has a girlfriend now..right??!!..i'm not even sure if i still like him because it hurt me soo much..should i move on to someone else??!!..what should i do overall..??!!

THNX IN ADVANCE

first of all whatever advice i offer to give you, you can either take it or leave it, use your best judgement.

there is jumbleness of words inside my head, but i know what advice i want to give you-just the ideas i'm trying to convey into words.

this guy, jonathan, he's stupid for playing you like that. but thinking of this, how much does he mean to you? and he to you?

talking on myspace, is simply just that. myspace is myspace, it's like las vegas. but there's a point in time, if he really cares about you, enough to even go beyond words and say, "i like you, and i still have feelings for you" he needs to show it.

him getting a girlfriend after talking to you for a month and then leading you on, it's just pathetic and wrong. it's like a terrible nightmare that you want to wake up from. like someone stabbing your heart and breaking into a million pieces. but that feeling won't last long, and ur worth so much more.

i know what you're probably thinking, what do you know? and your probably right. because i don't know your situatuation and could never pretend to.

yes, you should still talk to him, to answer your question. don't give him the cold shoulder. the worst kind of punishment is solitary-and that's what the cold shoulder is.

i can't tell you what to do, but personally, moving on is the best you could do.

don't cry because it ended or what could have been, be happy that it happened. it's in the past now, and all you could do is that.

sometimes things in our past run over the ideas and relationships that could happen in the future.

so just keep your mind over. i know you'll get through this.

-the greenness


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almost 15/m
Ok so on friday I was dumped by someone I thought eas perfect for me...I thought things were going well...we were so happy together, but over the summer we have been busier, and thats is one of the reasons I believe...we still do talk and it hasnt seemed to lose passion or anything because I love her more than anything. We still did talk alot. She seemed perfect for me I loved every bit of her (I know....teen love is not real love and are just flings but ive been bf/gf with her for atleast 3months). I am just wondering if it is a bad (as in looked down upon) thing to try to win her back? Ive been trying to look at the bright side...but it doesnt work for long. I just need to get over it. I feel like I need to be a man and not cry. I am sick of crying. Idk how to get her back...or how to let go...she was the only one who could ever get me out of depression...and she restored faith in alot of things for me. I dont want to lose her....I am still lucky to be friends with her, but it just feels a bit awkward. please help!
~dp~

dear dp-

i don't know what to say to you, but jumbles of idea might help.

you can either take my advice or leave it, use your best judgement.

i know it's hard loosing a relationship, especially even if it's like losing a best friend. i understand that. sometimes i could wish how much it must hurt to feel that.

i can never understand what situation you are going through, but somehow all you can do is be friends with her. i'm not going to say "stop with your whining and be a man, men don't cry" but that's all crap, and it's all a lie. What does it even mean to cry? and why does it matter whether you cry or not, it's emotions, and it help to get through pain.


so does talking it out. if lack of communication is what broke you guys up, maybe you should build that up again.nd i know you said you guys talk a lot still, but maybe it's about nothing, maybe, instead of talking about nothing actually talk about somthing, and really listen to her, and respond, not just repeat what she's saying in a different way.

the akwardness will fade, trust me, it will just give it time...

-the greeness

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