about

Hey Everybody...I'm Teri and my life is pretty much an open book. If you want to know anything about me, just ask. If you want to know about other fascinating things...ask away, I'll do my best.

I'm pretty light hearted and don't take life too seriously, so I would prefer some fun questions or advice scenarios, but I welcome the challenging ones as well.

Happy Asking!

advice


What do you do when you keep thinking about/wanting to talk to an old friend who you don't talk to anymore due to having different lifes, due to just time passing by, due to a love that went nowhere. I would just email this old friend but I don't. I don't know why that is either. During my childenhood I knew this old friend very well and I miss that. So whats your advice my on line friend?

Dear Friend ~

Just because the love didn't amount to a relationship between you both, doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't still be in contact with each other.

If you are thinking about this person, I would tell them so. I would certainly email them and see how they are doing.

As we get older, and our lives get busier, it seems easier and easier to let life "get in the way" of doing really important things. I think contacting your old friend/flame is a good thing to do.

Maybe you are thinking about this person because you don't feel like you had real closure at the end of your romantic relationship...or perhaps their is a mile distance and you cannot see each other as often as you wish.

Reach out, the worst that can happen is that they don't talk to you...but that's what is going on now!

Take the chance.

~Teri

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i am a 36 year old man, and i have been informed that i may loose my job due to chronic tardiness. mornings are hard for me right now, and i am late often. what should i do, i cannot afford to loose this job, it is too important to me?

Dear Sleepy:

Mornings can be very difficult, particularly if you don't have an established routine. I assume that you are to go to your job the same time each day? If you are, then you should try to set your alarm for 30 minutes earlier than normal.

You could also plan on what you are going to wear the next day and have that all laid out and ready to go to save you a few minutes in the decision making department.

If your job is as important to you as you say it is, then you will find a way to make it to work on time. Good Luck.

~Teri

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its been a while since you canceled our plans; what's new? how is work, school, the bj's? what about home life?

Nice manners babe!
You are a nut. So when do you want to make plans? I promise not to cancel as long as they are after May 10th because I have class until then. After that I am all yours for the dirt dishing, digging and dredging!
love,
Teri

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How do you put in more hours in a day?? So, you can see your friends???????????????

Need more time.

Hope all is well with my favorite kzoo girl. Miss ya!

Dear Friend,

I wish I knew how to create more hours in a day. My life would be so much simpler. I miss my friends from school very much right now, not to mention that I have friends here in the city that I don't connect with.

I am finished with school May 10th and don't start my chemistry course at KVCC until June 16th, so that time in between is officially my "summer break" so I intend to make the most of it.

Perhaps we can get together then and catch up. I miss you too....

~Teri

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Dear Miss T~

To start out, I will let you know what I am like... I am an 18 yr old college student, in a bad relationship. I hate brown-nosers, and people who think they can walk on water. I also dislike people who smeel so bad that the only name appropriate is "Princess Smells Like ASS!" I love the color pink, and 97.9.

So, about my question, or my 'situation'. I am in a relationship, and to tell you the truth sometimes I contemplate Chriogenically freezing this person, just so that he cannot anger anyone else, especially me. You see, he is the type of 'piss pant' that thinks the sun shines out of his ass, and the moon revolves around his head. Well, I need to break out of the relationship, and fast. I love him more than anything in the world, and I know that I will be completely devastated, but I know that our relationship will never be healthy. What should I do??

Enough with the Sappy love shit... how the Fuck are ya 'Big T', this is 'Big D', from 'Big J's class. I am hoping to run into you this evening before our classes, so that I can gossip to you, hope to converse with you soon, so that we may vent in the langauge that only you and I understand.

*Note* To those of you who are reading this and don't know who I am, Miss T and I met a few months ago, and immediately realized that we were both quite quirky in the same way. You would think that we had been friends forever, when in all actuality, it's only been about three months, and all though we have a limited number of memories, we will always have the 'Lazy Eye'!

Happy Loving, Sexing, and Living to all!


To My Dearest Danielle~
First and foremost, it was WONDERFUL running into you tonight before my anatomy class. What a terrific surprise~~I cannot tell you how much I miss you. I can honestly say that I miss our Bunsen Burner moments in Chemistry lab. Also, our Johnny Depp trouble shooting sessions.

In regard to your "man" and I use the word man loosely...he truly doesn't appreciate what a fine and wonderful tigress he has. I know that you love him very much and that you would be very hurt and lonely if you two were to part ways, but you need to think about your happiness first. It's about you Leo Chick...never forget that. It's all about us remember?

I totally need to come to the creek and we need to hang out and catch up on all the dirt in true Teri and Danielle fashion.

You're the bomb kiddo...don't forget what you deserve...the world on a silver star shaped platter!
Love ya,
Teri

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I don't have a question, but just wanted to say it has been good seeing you at the hospital over the last month. (wish it was in a different place and for a different reason). Thanks again for the free cafeteria coupons. They came in real handy for the family.

I haven't read your diary for months, so I took some time today to catch up. You always make me laugh.

Until next time,
C

My Dearest Calandra ~
I was glad to see you and your special girly girl at work as well. I too, wish it were under better circumstances, but nonetheless, it was great to see you any chance we had. I am glad things are better for the family and all is improving. I'll keep you posted on the rest of life in general.
Love ya,
Teri

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so back to labeling yourself "bisexual" interesting.... are you really that worried about dinner and my "control" over you? you know that i don't "control" you, or anyone for that matter... and thanks for doubting me and what i may or may not do with any info you share with me... see you tomorrow night, i will have the heat lamps plugged in....

Dearest You -

No, I don't think you truly control me or my actions, but there is something about you that makes me tell you things that I don't want to tell. I cannot describe it. I am sure there is someone in your world that has that "control" or "power" over you. I don't necessarily use the word control like in the sense of a noose or something awful like that...

I am looking forward to dinner and I don't doubt you and what you may or may not do with any dirt, info, or other tidbits divulged to you tomorrow night. There better be some corned beef or else you are gettin' it with the heat lamps.

-Teri

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i am blind in one eye and cannot see out of the other, do you think a dog would be beneficial?

Dear Hurtin' for Certain -

First of all, I need to quit laughing so damn hard in order to answer your question.

Somehow, no matter how eyeball and life inept you may be, I don't think the Paws for a Cause people would give you seeing eye dog.

Maybe you should just find a sexy person to guide you around...that would be more fun anyway.

-Teri

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how do you stop propogating chin hair?

Dear Chinny-Chinny-Chin -

Chin hair is the most unsightly thing in the world and as a half Puerto Rican woman, I am constantly battling the big ol' rican facial hair.

I pluck those fuckers any chance I get. Waxing hurts, cutting isn't wise, and shaving them is just plain stupid...unless you want to be the bearded lady.

Pluck away, I say.

-Teri

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is marcia p. stevens still doing fat free cooking, and if yes, does she need an assistant? - fiona fig

Dear Chef -

Marcia P. Stevens occassionally does her cooking show, and she really could use an assistant because she is not as good in the kitchen as she thought she once was.

I have this friend who is an amazing cook. I think I'll ask her to be my assistant.

Thanks for the offer though.

-Teri

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so, new jeans? don't tell me you aren't involved with anyone new... will you ever spill the dirt?

Dear Dirt Lover -

I look damn good in my 2 pair of new jeans I might add...not to mention that in time I may even spill the beans, dirt and whatever else may need spilling. You'll be the first to know!

-Teri

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i have a bad case of hemmorriods and i have tried everything, i understand that you are in nursing school, any thoughts?

Dear 'roid -

Just because I am in nursing school, doesn't make me an expert by any means. Sit on a blow up donut, use some cream and don't waste so much damn time grunting on the toilet.


I've never had hemorroids, so I really cannot be of much help. Sorry.

Teri

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How many HAIRS on your tongue?

I took care of my hairs on my tongue last night....while drinking hot tea and burning my tongue(no more hairs).

hair tongues Grosssssssssssssssss!!!!!! runnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.......... from your HAIR tongue

Hairy Mouth -

I honestly have no idea how many hairs on our tongues, but I would have to wager a guess that there are a lot. Have you ever scoped out an anatomy book and looked at how HUGE a tongue really is...

Oh the things we learn in Anatomy...what fun. Anyway, the other fun word in anatomy is SPHINCTER...as the professor says, "keeps unwanted things out and certain things in"...now there's a broad statement.

Happy tea drinking.
-Teri

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you indicate that life is good, so much to tell, but cannot... are you hiding something, do you have good dirt? are you having an affair, a man, woman? please tell...

Dear Inquisitor:
Life IS good, and there is quite a bit of wonderful things to talk about in my life right now, but I am not entirely sure that my website or my advice column is the context for such things.

Do you really think that if I were indeed hiding something that I would come clean by answering it on here?

Yes, I have good dirt, but then I usually do. If you mean do I have good dirt on me, I guess that depends on what you might find interesting.

An affair....now that's an interesting question to pose, not to mention that you ask whether it is with a man or a woman.

I'll leave you with this much. I have made some new friends I enjoy spending time with, and as far as having an affair someone close to me once said that you need to clean up your own house first before you can go setting up house with someone else.

-Teri

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my partner left me yesterday. some sort of identity crisis. what do i do if she comes back to me?

Dear Partner Problem:

First, do you want her to come back to you? If so, then it sounds like if you want the relationship to work after she left due to a "crisis", then perhaps couples therapy or counseling is the answer.

If this struck you completely out of the blue, then it sounds like your relationship has had problems for awhile and you both were not communicating with each other very well.

Also, if someone just up and leaves and doesn't have the courtesy to at least tell you there was a problem in the first place...they have the problem and clearly aren't coming back at all, because they have been gone for awhile it sounds like.

-T.

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Do you think it's possible for an old dog to learn new tricks? Meaning my gf changing her old ways?
~h~

Dearest ~H~:
It's hard to say whether or not someone can truly change their ways/feelings/habilts/behaviors. I do know that they can only attempt to change and only attempt if they truly want to...as they shouldn't and won't change for anyone other than themselves.

I hope for your sake that your "gf" appreciates what a great person you are and they want to remain open to your thoughts and feelings as they are as important as hers.

It takes two.
See you Sunday.
-Teri

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Dear T -

Do you find it as hilarious as I do that people asking you a question are supposed to choose a category, and that in the Advicenators nomenclature, "Domesticity" is an Honest-to-God category title? I chose "Domesticity -> Babysitting" because I thought it was the most hilarious.

Sincerely,
Your favorite Boone's-swilling cowgirl in Nashville

My Dearest Nashville Boone-swiller -
Yeah, they have some funny categories, but aren't they fun? I hope you and EyeMan have a beautiful Valentine's Day together. When are you coming to Michigan? We misssssssss you and cannot wait to see you again...not to mention the Fin is needing a visit?

Domesticity really isn't my forte' to be exact, just as the person who lives with me, they would say that I am sort of a "file by pile" kinda gal. In regard to babysitting...I still am a favorite to the blueberry shits story!

Love ya,
Teri

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What kind of socks are you wearing today?
Wear did you get them at?
Are you one of those weird people that wear your socks inside out?
Does your socks have pink line toes on them, I hope so because i just love the line toe on socks.

Dear Strange Sock Fetisher:
I am wearing light brown socks with dark brown argyle print down the sides. I got them at Kohl's department store.

I probably am one of those weird kind of people, but I don't intentionally wear my socks inside out.

I also hate it when my socks twist around and are not pulled up the right way or when the heel is up on the front...ugh!

No, the socks don't have pink line toes on them...sorry to disappoint.
-Teri

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So pretty much....you just really need some hot fucking sex!

I hear ya there girl!!!!!!!!!!!!

In a nutshell...there is this part of me that wants this syrup sweet romance kinda sex, then there is this part of me that wants the hot, give-it-to-me-now sex.

In all honesty, I think the Give It To Me sex is out in front in the race...definitely going the distance on that one.

-Teri

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so what are you saying exactly, you want men? what is it with you so called lesbians, are you really bisexual, have you always been, or is your love life lousy now, so men are suddenly looking good? how can i ever trust another lesbian again, everyone of them that i know, suddenly likes men?

Dear Chief -
I cannot speak for all "so-called" lesbians, but I have always thought that people's sexuality is fluid. In my mind, if you connect with someone in your heart and in your head it doesn't really matter what sex they are. Also, I know that sex with both men and women is good so you really get a win/win situation if that is your interest.

In regard to my sex life...why yes, it is lousy, but that isn't why I have "suddenly" started thinking about men. It has been on my mind for quite a few years to be exact.

As far as trust goes, you have to go with what your gut tells you. Sorry for the disappointment.
-Teri

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