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I'm 19 and a female.
This guy I like got out of a 2 year relationship about 5 months ago. When I told him that I like him he told me that he isn't looking for a relationship right now and that I'm a very nice girl. His ex treated him badly and used him so I can understand why he doesn't want a relationship now. I backed off after that, but he texts me daily and usaully initiates the conversations. I would love to hang out with him but I haven't said anything because I already did enough by revealing my feelings. I figure if he wants to hang out he would ask me, especially now that he knows how I feel. What should I do? Does it seem like he is interested? (link)
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First, I think he is interested. At the very least he's thought about it - you have to be coming to his mind for him to be texting you in the first place, especially so regularly.
Second, my advice slightly differs depending on what kind of person you are -- how quick do you fall in love and how hard? If you start hanging out with this guy in the very near future and after a few months he's not intereted, are you going to be devistated? If the answer is yes then I would wait until he asks you to do something, especially if he knows you like him. If he doesn't want to meet up, you may save yourself a ton of hard heart-break. If you think you can handle it my suggestion would be to try go get him to go out casually. Like if he text you and you are free at that time, text him back and be like, man, I'm soooo bored, you wanna get a coffee or something. If he says no, he can't, then give it a few days to a week then invite him out with a bunch of your friends, when they're going out to do something too. If he says no again, then I'd then start to wait until he asks you to hang out.
Lastly, if you can get him out, the first few times I'd just be super friendly and nice. Make sure he knows you're a sweet person and not like his ex. A couple more time later get more flirty with him and see if he flirts back. Hopefully he will and hopefully you end up at one of those awkward moments like when he drops you off and he gets the urge to kiss you goodnight.
Long and the short of it all, see if he'll meet, flirt a bit and hope for the best. Sometimes breakups for people take a long time to get over, 2 years is quite a while to be dating.
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so everytime i get drunk i flirt of course!
i hook up with diffrent guys..
and for instance one time i hooked up with this guy and i called him thomas but thats my other friends name..
i hooked up with thomas two times and i enjoyed it so much because he wouldnt force me to do anything. it was the best.
at a party two nights ago i was flirting with this one guy and he was feeling me up and down then suddenly he put his arms around me and i wanted thomas.
do i like thomas? because it seems like i dont want any guy to touch me except thomas?
(link)
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i'd say that yes, you do like thomas. i would contact thomas and ask him out to a movie or something. see if you really do like him - you'll know because you'll get the butterflies in the stomach, you'll want to talk to him everyday and everytime you leave each other you'll wish you didn't have to. for now, do your best to stop fooling around with other guys - it will help clear your head about whether you really like thomas. hopefully you and thomas really enjoy each others company too and can maybe start to date. he's seems like a nice guy and someone who would be good for you (the best guys to date are the ones that show respect to you, like not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do). if you have trouble with fooling around with random people then it may be a extra good idea to try to hook up with thomas (your likely needing to fill an emotional void - these emotional needs are probably making you want to fool with random guys - you probably just feel good to have someone like you and you think by fooling around with people that they like you). if you can be in a relationship with thomas hopefully you'll feel liked by him and that will be enough.
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14/f
Okay, this might be kind of long. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 7 months now and he's my first boyfriend. For the first few months everything was honestly perfect. I was so happy to talk to him and see him(we talked every day on the phone but we rarely saw each other because we both babysat little siblings)Overall, the summer was great. There were times that I would get bored talking to him but that's to be expected after talking for a few hours a day. Then school started and things changed. We were both starting HS. I was so excited; I loved HS. I made new friends, I'm in all top classes and I'm doing well, and I joined Amnesty International and Key Club. Everything was great but my bf wasn't in any of my classes so I don't see him except for 10 minutes before homeroom. When I did, however, things were different. He was with all of his friends(who I think are obnoxious but I don't complain)and I end up standing there ignored. He acts like a jerk with his friends and is just as loud and obnoxious as them. I'd never seen that in him before. When he did acknoledge me he'd try to hug or kiss me or he'd say something stupid to impress his friends. When i talked to him about it and how I didn't want to kiss in school he accepted it but he still acted kind of hurt. Once a few weeks ago he said, "You know you haven't been hugging me a lot lately" I just said sry that I'd been late the past couple of mornings and I hadn't gotten a chance. Then he said "It's okay its just making me look bad." When I asked him he basically told me that his friends tease him that I don't kiss him and that part of the reason he hugs me in the morning is because of his friends. I was so hurt.
Also, sometimes he embarrasses me. I know that sounds horrible, but sometimes he just acts like a little kid and I feel wierd especially when I'm with my two best friends and their bfs and he acts stupid and is kind of immature. I feel mean saying it but its the truth.
To make matters worse, through all of this I've started noticing another boy more. He's in a bunch of my classes and he's so perfect. He's really nice, talks to me, he's really smart, and he's probably the most good-looking guy I know(he's not even conceited about it either) I always feel awful just thinking about him becasue I know it's so unfair to my boyfriend but I can't help it especially when my bf does something that makes me mad. Also, sometimes I miss being single because for the first time in my life I'm being outgoing and guys are talking to me and noticing me and I can't even think consider them because I have a bf.
I've considered breaking up with him a few times but I don't know what to do. I know he really cares about me he always tells me how much he loves me and how I'm the only good thing in his life. And I really love talking to him on the phone(we still talk every night) For the most part, we have fun conversations and he can always make me laugh. But it feels like our phone conversations are the only good thing in our relationship. I don't get butterflies when I see him anymore, ever. To be honest, I don't even like really seeing him in person lately. I know for a fact that we'll never get married because our visions for the future just wouldn't mix. I want to travel the world and help people then settle down with kids. He doesn't know what he wants to do but he doesn't even think he wants kids. I'm just so confused and stressed about all of this. Please help me. (link)
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I had a similar situation however everytime I tried to break up with him he would get really upset and say stuff like he can't live without me, etc etc. each time i went back with him and after a few more years we broke up. looking back now, i wish i had been able to break up with him right from the beginning. i think i was just feeling like he's a good friend and i didn't want him to be mad at me, so i stayed. i think this was a big mistake. now i feel like i missed out on some stuff. even if this new guy doesn't like you back, there's gonna be lots of other ones that are going to make your heart flutter. i'm sure you'll date plenty of other guys and if you know you aren't going to get married then i'd say don't waste your time. i don't really think he's treating you very well either (you not wanting to see him in person is a very bad sign too).
i would break up with him. it's going to be hard, he's going to be upset, he might even kinda be a prick to you at school afterwards but that should just reaffirm that the guy wasn't right for you anyways and you shouldn't waste your time.
one other word of advise, if you break up with this man and then really start liking this other guy and he ends up not liking you back, please don't go back out with your current boyfriend (feelings of rejection can cause you to do some silly stuff) - just remember he's not the one for you either.
hope that helps.
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Ok, so 16m
What are some ways to get a girl to like you?
And what are some ways to see if a girl is in to you? (link)
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First, i think you're very smart for taking the time to ask these questions - it shows your heart is in the right place.
ways to get a girl to like you:
- obviously no need to act fake in any way - girls like someone whose natural and confident (don't confuse confident with cocky)
- try being a little cheezy, open a door for her at school, give her a compliment about something she's wearing or how her hair looks, carry her books for her to class or even just walking her to class before going to yours
- smile, smile, smile at her - she'll find you friendly and more comfortable + look at her eyes a lot, girls like to feel like you are really listening to what they have to say and that what they say is important to you.
ways to tell if she likes you:
- she's looking at your eyes and you may catch her staring at you - likely a second or two long than another girl normally would
- she tries to touch your arm, sit next to you a lot or laughs at everything you say
- she's likely figit a lot, you know, touch her hair, play with her fingers, etc
- depending on the girl she may either a) be very flirty with you or she may act a little uncomfortable - if she's nervous, she's worried about impressing you.
hopefully that helps a little.
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Hey,
So last Saturday I was at a bar and I made out with this guy. Totally normal. I guess I'm "that kind of girl". I do not date. I ended up going back to this guys dorm and spending the night (it was very PG and cute).
well he asked me out on a date, and I am freaking out. I don't date, I don't know how to act.
Can someone share some stories?
Thanks (link)
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I actually totally know how you feel. i'm 27 now but between 16 and 20 i didn't date either, and i was definitely "one of those girls".
I remember my first real date, I was so nervous - i think i was feeling like by only being "that kind of girl" no one had really gotten to know me that well and i never had to be concerned about what the other person thought about me and now that i was going on this date i would actually have to "show some personality" and what would happen if he didn't like me.
We had a great time and we ended up going on a few more dates. After that we stopped seeing each other cuz we could tell we weren't really suited to be together. it at least made me feel like i could go on more dates later and not be so nervous.
if i had to make some direct advice i would say
1) pre-think of some questions to ask him - you'll likely feel awkward if you get to a point where neither of you are saying anything to each other - plus everyone likes to talk about themselves a little
2) he's going to ask you questions to - probably things like, so what do you do for fun, etc. think about what he may ask then think about a response --- u r gonna feel much more relaxed if you are feeling like you're prepared
3) buy yourself something pretty :-) quite girlie but if you're going to dinner and a movie or something, get yourself a new shirt and necklace or something - you always love the way you feel in something new
hope that helps a little.
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