about

Well, Where to begin, there is so much to tell, but the true question is what to tell. "One who knows nothing, can understand nothing." quote is true through all of life. I have been fascinated with what the mind can do, and how to solve these issues.
Majority of people's problems occur because they tend to think with their emotions. I believe that it is my job to help people with their problems. While i may not be the best advice giver in the world, after i know something, it must then be understood. so if there is an emotional problem, or just need someone to talk to about random things. Here is my Column.

advice

hey. i have a bit of an interesting situation going on. i hadn't heard from my boyfriend in a couple of days, so i was a little worried. but, he texted me saying that he was very sorry, it was just that his grandmother was in the hospital and he was having a hard time and kind of went into a coop, which is something he tends to do when he worries, he hides in his shell. but, just yesturday, i was in the hospital, and i had spent the night before there with the IV, and I was feeling so bad because I hadn't heard from him and I didn't want to call him crying about me being there either. but, i don't want to sound greedy by telling him that he has to communicate with me, because he didn't know that I was in the hospital too, and I felt really bad in that hospital, not having heard from him, or him having been there, you know what I mean? but, i feel really bad for the grandmother, because she's so sweet, and I don't want to sound greedy, like I'm the only one who should have his attention. I just feel like I was put to the side, which I know he didn't mean to do, I really don't want a lecture on that right now. but, i know how he gets with this. he doesn't deal with these types of things well. i'm even thinking it's better if he were to find out through someone else about the hospital, instead of me, you know? can anyone give me some advice here?

Guys can tend to curl up in a ball in a sticky situation, trust me, i know, im a guy.

Relationships work two ways, and it takes two to Tango. this is true of any relationship. NO matter what happens communication is a key part to the relationship, he has to communicate with you, and you must communicate with him.

What to do, begin communication. Family comes first in anything, before you, and before his friends. You need to show him that you are supportive. bad things happen when we as men bottle up our emotions as we do tend to do.

When you show that you have to communicate for the relationship's survival, you are saying that you want the relationship to last forever. Eventually he will open up to you, and problems such as these merely become speed bumps in the road.

You weren't thrown aside as much as you feel that way. In a problematic situation that hits close to home, we hide instead of face our problems. which is why things like this are hard to deal with. which is where you come in. Show him your love, and he will do the same.

With this being said, you are the one that has to tell him that you were in the hospital, and while you may not have told him that you were there for his own protection, you must express to him why you didn't tell him. after he realizes the potential problems in the relationship, things will get better between you and your relationship will never fail

[view]

okay so lately my confidence has been dropping more and more. and i just feel like people keep saying crap about me and stuff. and like i always feel like people are staring at me when im walking down the street. and i feel really ugly and fat. so now ive ended up being bulimic and i cut and i pop pills. i dont know what to do though cause i cant tell my parents. and i keep looking for a boyfriend and i cant get one so it makes me feel worse cause i feel like no one wants me. so please help me

Well. Where to begin. (this will be long, so don't read it all at once, read it in sections and let what i have to say rest in your mind for a little bit.)

The Human body is such a fascinating thing.
Answer me this. why do you cut yourself in such a manner? Does is cover up an emotional problem?
given what you have said... Yes. (we'll get back to this.)

People probably are saying crap about you, about the way you look, and and what not, but that is the point. You believe in what they have to say so it holds some form of power over you. Which is the key. The people choose you to be the target of what they have to say because it affects you so, but in truth, the people that say such things truly aren't sure of themselves. I'm sure you have heard something like this speech before, so i'm going to cut to the chase. As you read this, think about what i have to say. the people that say crap about you are immature, and while your conscious says to ignore them, you can't. So what to do. When you walk, walk with your head up high and chin parallel with the ground shows to other's that you believe in yourself, people will eventually realize that what they say won't effect you so.

Why do you feel ugly? Is it because to you it seems that no boy would want to date you? Here is the thing about men. Despite what we say, nothing is more sexier then a woman with confidence. Do not run to men to solve your beauty problems, for i promise you, that you will get hurt and feel worse then what you are.

Now we come to the treatment of your body. Bulimia truly and honestly solves nothing and there is no logic to it. In truth, one would think that it causes weight-loss, but it doesn't. It prevents your body from getting the nutrition it needs and your body will then begin to digest itself for the nutrition it needs. (basically cannibalism of yourself.)

Cutting. a very sensitive topic for most people. but you have openly admitted to the world that you cut yourself. this is a start of showing trust in yourself in that you know that there is something wrong.

The Psychology of cutting yourself...You cut yourself because of an emotional problem, yet it has been established that physical pain cannot ever cover up the emotional torment. By cutting you are merely suppressing the emotions of suffering and letting them get bottled up, after a while the physical pain goes away, and you realize that while you had the physical pain, the emotional pain is gone. but it's not. the emotional pain grows and grow with each and every cut you do. then it turns into a cycle and you have no longer given yourself a solution to your problem. Stop cutting yourself, it makes you hideous to the world. showing how little you think of your emotions and letting them run your life such as they are. the trick with this is simple.
well...easier said then done anyways.

Majority of people that slice themselves think with their emotions. Had i been doing that, i would not exist and couldn't be giving you this advice here and now. Don't think with your emotions, think with logic. The humans' ability to reason and use deductive thinking is one of the most precious gifts we could ever have. Im not saying to completely be devoid of all emotions but rather use your emotions to make decisions and then use logic to justify the outcome. believe me, it works. Having said what i said about cutting yourself...does it make sense to cut yourself and let your problems expand when the only thing you get from it is the possibility of throwing your life away? The same applies to pill popping. Im quite sure that you wouldn't be seeking the advice of teenagers and other people for you to go and commit suicide by means of drugs, slicing, or bulimia for that matter.

Your parents don't need to know what has been going on in your life to drive you to such ends so long as you get yourself under control. Im not suggesting to simply ignore the problem because eventually you will have to tell them something.

And if you happen to be a little over weight, there is no matter there. Simple fixes to you showering habits and food intake.

Examples.

Drink water. not soda. water cools down the body's temperature. The body uses calories to keep the body temperature constant. By drinking water, you are dropping your body's temperature, thus causing your body to burn more calories to get the temperature back up to the constant it was at before. You will be tempted to eat because of your dropped temperature, but don't. eat when it is appropriate. you body get's it's extra calories from fat. thus your body will instead of eat the fat for survival (bulimia) your body will dissolve it and place it toward your temperature.

The same basic principle applies to cool showers.
Cool showers lower the body' temperature and will thus work harder to keep up the temperature to a functioning level.

Food.

Eat foods with High citric acid. the acid will dissolve fat.
Grapefruit
Oranges
Strawberries
ruby red grapefruit juice
and Cranberry juices and fruits.

Vitamins.

for more energy through out the day, use vitamin b-12. it works. it increases your metabolism thus generating more energy for your body to function, this way, you aren't eating so much simple carbs to which cause acne, rotten teeth, loss of senses and what not. Caution, take with lots of water and a banana. or it will hurt you, i promise.

I hope this advice will lift up your spirits.
Remember nothing is sexier to a guy, then confidence, and a sense of self worth.

[view]

Ok. My brain is being ground into tiny bits by the string theory, or M Theory. Dammit. o_o Can someone please (if you even have the slightest clue about it) explain the basics to me about the string/M Theory?

**Physics confused person guy

The String Theory is Completely Fascinating although somewhat bizarre.

What it is basically, a theory about everything. The Fundamentals include particles. known as "Strings" that can vibrate in such a way that it can travel through dimensions. strings are one dimensional particles. the next part is a brane. a Brane is a higher dimension of the String. Like the String, a brane can also vibrate in such a manner that is can travel to dimensions lower then it. Branes can absorb strings, and thus travel to even more dimensions.

The String theory is an attempt to unify the four basic fundamental forces. Electro-magnetism, Gravity, and what not.

The String Theory also can only properly function with supersymmetry. meaning, there exists dualities between any and all matter and their properties. Also. (as a side note) The string theory predicts the existence of primordial black-holes such as the ones that cause the Big Bang Theory. a primordial black-hole is a black hole that is so incredibly small, that after the singularity has absorbed all the matter surrounding the event horizon, it will evaporate, and explode. This explosion is much more powerful then the H-Bomb which destroyed Bikini Island. thus created everything that is now here.

[view]

15/m. hi the hair on the top of my head is about 3 inches long. everyday, to keep it up, i hairspray it while its still a little damp. then straighten it up wards, so its like messud up spikes. then i hairspray it again, and then straighten it again. i do this about three times, so im virtually cooking my poor hair. does anyone have tips on keeping it up, but so its messy, not proper spikes? my hair is so limp that nothing works. shall i just cut it or what now? because i want to grow it..? thanks

This depends on the type of Shampoo you use.
not how much gunk you place upon your hair, or how many times you straighten it. Placing so much chemicals in your hair can cause baldness. Well, so does stress, but that is a different matter.
the problem lies in your shampoo and conditioner.
Most people think that it is odd having a guy use conditioners, but they work. What you need is a shampoo that increases volume. this will make your hair stronger, and take up more area, thus providing your hair with more support to stand on it's own.

also, instead of hairspray and straighteners, try using what i use.

"Got 2b Glued ~ Styling Spiking Glue" by Schwarzkopf. it is literally glue for your hair, it will hold your hair pin straight when dry.

[view]

Ok how do I word this...Ok so last night I got into another fight with Eric. ...The third one this week. See lately, he's been telling me he hates himself and i deserve better than him. But then the next day he'll be like "Go Die XD" and its ridiculous. But he's really good friends with this guy, Mark. And Mark is an amazing guy. He's always there for me and my friends keep telling me he likes me and I might like him back...But if I stop being friends with eric..me and Mark will probably drift. And last night Eric blocked me from aim and I've been up all night watching prince of bel-air and eating straight from a tub of ice cream :/ I can't deal with this. I don't want to lose Mark and I really don't want to lose Eric either but its probably better if i do. WHAT DO I DO.

My Hypothesis. while it may not be the greatest, it might just be able to help.

Based on what you said about Eric, it sounds like he is bi-polar. don't get mad yet, there is much to say.

Fights occur within relationships. this is the process of love. but if the fights are as you have stated, "Go die" then it is time to move apart.

It sounds to me, that what you are in the relationship with Eric for, is truly Mark. Have you ever talked to Mark about what to do with Eric? Mark, being Eric's best friend will have some influence upon Eric's thinking.

In doing this, You are increasing your relationship with Mark, while maintaining a relationship with Erik.

Put down the Ice-Cream. Despite how good it tastes, there are much more healthier ways to deal with stress.

[view]

Sorry this is long but okay I like this guy and I didn't want anyone to know.By the way I'm in 8th grade. Only my best friend knew but then a 7th grader that we hung out with found out and we also found out she wasn't very trustworthy. We were at camp when all this happened though. We were gone for a week. Okay well she told this other 8th grade girl who we liked. And I was upset. Then I guess the word got out somewhere along there and then the guy I liked friend found out and came up to me and said I know who you like and he knows it too. I was like sure whatever, I thought he was just joking around. Then he said did I mention it was 'the guy I liked name'. And he was bugging me about it and he said if I keep staring a picture would last longer. I don't know what to do but I keep telling him I don't like him. Now I got off the phone with a friend and I can't trust her very much and she doesn't know who I like. She told me that they came up to her and asked if I liked him. I don't know whether to believe her or not but I think he knows that I do like him. I really need help how to deal with this. What to say to them and what to do and what not to do.

Oh some extra stuff is that I don't see him often usually twice a week since we go to the same church not school. And sometimes activities that we have. But we were at camp for a week too.

Okay, this can get complicated. so please bare with me.

Love is a fickle thing to try and manage. So we will keep it down to the point you really like this guy.

The guy you like, Tell him. There can be no harm in you saying the way you truly feel. Regardless of what the other people think, you should follow how you feel, when he asked you about it, you denied it. You also denied yourself in doing so, and i know it hurt you to not be able to tell him how you truly feel. this is obvious. It will be much more of a relief once you tell him how you feel and he responds.

Now, we come to your "friends." this is the complication. So before i begin here. Let me state that i think logically instead of with emotions.

1) Your not so trustworthy friend. The one who blabbed your secret is not your friend. A Friend would not go around saying what other people are doing, and with who for that matter.

2) Don't believe the girl on the phone, not to sound cold hearted, but still. What she wants is information. "Knowledge is Power" this is a true statement. If you don't trust her, don't tell her.

3) the girls at camp. they know nothing and are foolish to jump into an affair that doesn't concern them. when you feel like sharing it with them, do it. in the mean time, it is not their place to know anything about your love life.

There are two things you can do.

the first one, is go along with the girls. play with it a little bit. but a warning, in doing this, you could easily end up in a hole and in a position to which you don't want to be in.

the second thing. do nothing, the rumor of you liking someone will continue to spread, and hopefully for you, it will. this is a good thing that it spreads. because the person you like has already approached you about it. So there is no more embarrassment for you if he finds out.

what you need to do is follow your heart. don't deny your heart what it desires.

[view]

My best guy friend has sort of stopped talking to me directly and only like saying "hi". Some times he doesn't even say "hi" for days/weeks on end. I don't know what to do. He won't answer me. and tries to avoid me. I wonder if it was because i started to hang out with another guy that i really like and kinda flirt w/ this other guy alot. Could that be why? Can you help me w/ how to get him to speak to me agian????BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS(aug 21st)

While i know not who you are, or even comprehend the situation fully. here is a suggestion to which i hope will most likely help you.

Asking him would be a simply solution, however. he is a guy. well, im a guy, so obviously i can tell you things about us. lists have always made more sense to me then anything else, so here is my attempt.

1) he meaning your best friend, is in fact a guy. We as "Men" want to be tough therefore it is difficult for us to show our true emotions to the view of other people. This is true of all guys. Nothing in the world could ever change this.

2) He purposely tries to avoid you? lets think about this. He started acting this way about the time you started flirting with the other guy and your best friend found out about this? It makes sense for him to act this way. you may not see it, but there is some deductive logic to it. (i'll explain soon)

3) This guy that you flirt with, Have you asked your best friend's approval of the person before you started flirting?

4) The Explanation.
there are one of two possibilities if both of them combined. the first one i suggest, is that there is no problem with you, it is him. you obviously flirt with this guy in your friend's presence, otherwise he would not be so affected by it. This suggests Jealousy. There is nothing you can do about this for it will always exist inside of him because guys tend to bottle up emotions until the bottle breaks and we snap. the suggestion i have, which is also the more probable; is that it was brought upon by you. You never sought your friend's approval of the guy, and your friend could have very well had a crush on you. (again, guys don't show emotions)but that is a different story. You could have told your friend of your intentions with the guy. this would have made the transition of people, for both of you, easier, but because you didn't there is a sense of resentment that you friend could very well feel like he wasn't good enough for you to ask, therefore could very well be blowing off steam by avoiding you.

as to what you should do, that is up to you. you don't need people to tell you this. all you need is guidance, that doesn't come from other people. it comes from your heart. what you need to know is all in there, you just need to search for it.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker