Member Since: August 26, 2012
Answers: 3
Last Update: August 26, 2012
Visitors: 555
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My sister is 3 years younger than me and she hits me and pinches me and even bites me, I have scars from her and I have considered self harm as relief from the stress she gives me. She tells my Cousin (who is 5) to harm me and he does, I feel like I can't escape. I always end up with the blame and my parents don't notice or say they don't want to hear it, if she is hurting me and I hit her to defend myself she runs crying to my parents and I always get the blame, I want it to end but I feel like I can't escape, please help! (link)
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Xenolan is right on the money, however I've grown up with a younger bratty sister too and I fully understand your predicament. Like it or not, parents usually favour the younger of their offspring, not always, but mostly.
Firstly, there are a few things you need to understand. Point one - it doesn't matter what your relation to a particular person is, people only do to you what you allow them to. what this means is that your sister only harms you because she knows there will be no consequence from you or your parents. The only way to stop her is to implement a plan to make sure she is punished when next she misbehaves. It does not matter who enforces the consequences, just make sure she regrets it. If you are forced to use physical means then do it and take whatever your parents throw at you. Then tell them you don't care what they do to you, you have begged them for help to no avail, and if your sister tries you again then you with correct her again. Believe me they will realise the gravity of the matter and intervene. They will also start taking you seriously, so will your sister. Don't be afraid to stand up to bullshit, make a strong stand for happiness and do not give in under any circumstances. Even if your parents take her part, don't back down, let them know that you've had enough and its time they listen to you, because if they refuse you will have no choice but to defend your happiness yourself. Viva la revolucion.
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I have known my friend for about 4years, his 32 and I am 20... I have been in love with him for about 2years and after a while we lost contact because he went to a different country, he contacted me and we are friends again... But the feelings won't go, I finally summoned the courage to tell him how I feel about him,and I felt a bit awkward after I told him and this was what he said "You are my darling & there's no need to be uncomfortable okay...I've known you forever & watched you start to blossom like a woman...so you can simply relax, trust me & watch the story unfold...& stop being so hard on yourself... (link)
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That's typical guy talk, it does not necessarily mean he is not interested, but it does mean he is not interested in anything serious with you. Don't get your hopes up sweet heart.
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19/f
So yesterday, my boyfriend of a year and a half went to a college that is an hour and a half away. He is a freshman and i am a sophomore that is commuting to a community college. The problem is, the college he is at always has horrible traffic that would make visits really difficult. Both of us have been preparing for this for a while now, and we know that we are going to do whatever it takes to make it work because we love each other more than anything. It's just, yesterday made me really nervous because i barely heard from him at all. And when he finally called me, he was all frustrated because he couldn't find a private corner to talk to me in. I had to rush through the details of my day and so did he, and it left me with a really uneasy feeling. I know it was his first day and he had a lot going on, and things will probably straighten out in a week or two... But for the time being i am absolutely miserable. I am going to try and stay busy this week until school starts, and we even have visits planned soon. I guess I just need advice on how I can start coping with these difficult changes. I am so sick of websites telling me to deal with the fact that it might not work, i know in my heart that it will. I just need a little guidance on how not to lose my mind for these first couple of days haha.
Any advice would be much appreciated! (link)
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Under normal circumstances I would move along, not answer this question and leave it to you to experience as a learning curve. A situation like yours is trivial at most but at your age its emotional disaster. The feelings you're experiencing at the moment are new to you, expect mental overload as your mind struggles for a way to handle the flood of unfamiliar emotions. It will be hard to cope with when they hit, but it will pass.... Eventually.
I'm not the type to sugar coat things and for your own good I won't make any exceptions. It is highly likely that this is the beginning of the end of your relationship. It is highly probable that you stopped reading at this point because you don't like what I'm saying. This is a normal psychological defence mechanism, you experienced a comfort zone before your boyfriend left, a time of ease and convenience. Your mind will try to hold on to what gave you content, and therefore will reject strongly any notion on the contrary. The only way to overcome this is to experience it, there is no substitute and no bypassing it. I could tell you to stick it out or to move on, but the best advice I could give you as a man who has "cruised that liner" is to follow your heart and don't hold back. It is imperative that you do what makes you HAPPY regardless of what people say, pour your heart into it, if it doesn't work, you will know that you gave it your best shot and it just was not meant to be. If it does then good. Either way, you will end up much better equipped for life ahead, and believe me, nothing is more valuable.
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