Mzchocolate's advice column

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Q: Hey, I'm an 18 year old female. I've been dating my boy for about 5 months now. We were friends for about a year or so before we started dating. I always had something for the boy. When we first started dating it was like a dream (Like any other starting of a relationship). We were both so eager to see each other.. and just so in love. It never changed for me until recently.

He's been so.. distant. Not only that, but every time I bring up a problem, it's more of a problem that I did. He just doesn't get it. I know he has work and college and I respect that, but I try to see him as much as I can. Which is usually once or twice a week. And some days he'll make up excuses not to see me. I love the kid, I really do. He's amazing.. just.. not so much recently. He becomes cold, distant.. bitter. and everything seems to push back on me.

I'm a romantic, too. I love to give small gifts, whether they're notes or poetry.. or what ever. I just try so hard to show my feelings and portraying it. Every time I do this.. it becomes a joke. He claims it was just a stage of him being sweet and he's not clingy. I'm so desperate for getting the tenderness I need that I'm crushing over other guys. I'd never cheat. I don't know what I want anymore. All I know is I want to be happy. Yes, people say to use my heart and not my head.. but it's pretty hard when it's in this situation. If anyone, please anyone, can help me.. please try. I can't take this much longer.

Mz. End it or not,

Okay this is what ima tell you....i think that you should most diff move on. If he dont want to be in a relationship with you then he need to tell you that, that better that he told you that then acting like he is now. You know how you are and he knew b4 you got into this relationship so he know how you act and what you want in this, and if he is acting like he dont wanna be with you, you know whats next. "Break up"....i also think that you should talk to him and tell him look....whats the deal?" Do you want to be with me and if now let me know. You stay that you crashing on other guys, then thats what you need to think about, if you know that you wanna to be happy and u're not then you got to follow your mind and be happy, with out him. Now if you wanna try to work it out with him then thats what you need to do...Talk, try to work it out. But what i really dont understand is when we started to go to college, he wanna act all distant and weird? Thats what you should ask him. But if he dont wanna talk about it at all, he know what he is doing and you know that yall are done in his mind. But if dont wanna break up and he ask why or how come?, he care about what he is doing wrong....I hope that i helped you as the best of my ability...Always remember every woman needs Peace, Love and Chocolate!!!! ONE LOVE!!!

Q: What are they and what do they look like

Genital warts are flesh-colored or gray growths found in the genital area and anal region in both men and women. Genital warts are sometimes referred to as condyloma acuminata or venereal warts. They represent the most common sexually-transmitted disease caused by a virus. The warts are caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV). Infection with genital warts may not be obvious.

Q: So that same guy that I talked about in my last question I saw last night. We were qt a party. He was talking to another gut about how when they get broken up with or get in a fight with a girl that's when they drink the most. And I knew he was talking about me so I just kept my mouth shut. And D turned & looked at me & said after we broke up I drank a lot. I said well it's not my fault you coul have been dating me but your dating this other girl. And he turned and said to some guy "I got so drunk over this girl right here(he points at me)" so I was getting mad & Texting him saying don't bring up stuff about us in public cause when I do try to talk to you, you tell me you don't care & say fuck off. So me and him texted for awhile and I texted him saying I'm not communicating over text meet me out front and talk in person. So he went up there and I walked up there and I told him that I still like him & im sorry for the things that happened & he said well I'm not even dating that girl & I was like so you lied? And he said yes & I said well I'm not asking for you back I'm just saying you know how I feel & you still flirt with me, I catch you looking at me, you tell me you still like, & now your saying your not dating her well what am I suposta do now? And he said I don't give a f**k and walked away. So my question is why does he Lead me on? He says he still likes me and he lies about have a girlfriend but yet he doesn't even want to date me again. Also why is one second he's all sweet and the next he's not. & what do you think I should do now? Just forget about him and it's done with us, wait it out, or keep trying. Thanks for all the help.

Ms. I dont know what to do,

I think that you should move on. You said that he was drunk so mostly likely he might just wanted you to have sex with you. I also think that you should stop texting him and trying to not be bother with him in public period. You dont need any drama in your life, this is what you need to do....worry about yourself and worry about moving on. And once again....LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE...he is playing you!! I hope that i helped you in anyway....and always remember a woman should always have Peace, Love, And Chocolate!!! One Love!!

Q: Im still a virgin 17/male a lot of my friends have had sex they talk about it and how many girls they have been with and some think its weird im still a virgin but im still waiting for the right girl to come along and i wanna be in love first and at the moment im 17 im really not ready to have sex i want to wait till im older nothing weird about that is there?

Mr. Not ready for sex,

I think that it is perfectly fine with waiting til you get married, or till you get in love. I bet that the people that is having sex right now is goin to have babies sometime next year. Having sex is really supposed to be with some one you are married to, as least thats what we are taught but being in love is also the nest best thing. Honestly, you should not be worrying about other ppl, i know ppl that younger then me got STD's and you babies, you are young and you need to worry about other things....i hope that i helped you in anyway....you i hope that if you got any other questions...email me....one love!!!

Q: Sooo i've been liking this guy for a minute & we get into it all the time, but sometimes i feel so dumb because we're not together but i can't back down from a fight! I like him, but not him. Does that make sense? He's everything that is on my checklist as far as a mate, & the sex is amazing but we get into it tooo much, we're cool now but i know it's only a matter of time. I always tell me & myself i'm done, & he says the same thing; but we're right back 'with each other' is this love or a strong confused feeling of strong like? & what should i do? Listen to my mind or my heart.

Mz. Be honest with me,

Okay first off...it dont make sense but when it comes to your heart, do it ever. honestly, i think that you and the guy should call it off for a while, and when i say off....I MEAN DONT FALL FOR THE "COME OVER I NEED YOU TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME" AND YALL END UP HAVING SEX. I think that you should listen to your mind, i think that if yall goin to be friends then thats all yall need to do. Also i think that if your confused about what yall got then its not love....i hope that i was any help to you honey...
AND YOU SHOULD HAVE...PEACE, LOVE, AND CHOCOLATE

Q: Ok I am a 26 year old male... It's a girl that I have been talking to for the last three months...We haven't seen each other we meet off of
a social networking site... But we haven't seen each other before... But for the last three month we have been texting each other everyday and, talking on the phone everynight for hours... We have been sort of liking each other since we talked... But we both kept the relationship on a friendly manner... But when other females try to talk to me she gets jealous and vice versa... so the day before yesterday we both admmited that we liked each other... And if our meeting went right we will date each other... shes way on the east coast and im on the westcoast... but next month i was gonna fly out there and take her on a date... and we were going to hang out... so i asked her could we have sex... and she got all mad and was like no... she treated me as if i was wrong... but 5 min before she was saying that she would rape me... i mean i knew she was joking but we joked alot on a sexual manner... she's 20 and she has been with 5 guys and three different women... so it's not lik shes a virgin... and i dont think i was wrong because i have been talking to her 4 three months and i geinuly wanted to start a relationship when we meet... I'm upset because I started to grow feelings but at the same time... I think she was wrong for treating me like this...what do you think?

You know what, i think that you are not wrong, you are talking to her and all yall didnt do was see each other... and then if she is playing when she she say that she will rape you then she is really to have sex with you. All i think it is, is that she dont want you to think that she is easy. But you know what just take it slow with her, yall sound like yall are clicking real good. You are older than her and she is only 20 so i think that you should just meet up with her and chill and if yall have sex than yall do, if yall dont than yall dont. I hoped that i helped you in anyway...if you need any other questions, feel free to email me @ penpaperaddict@gmail.com....or my column....One Love!!!

Q: so my boyfriend and i are becoming more and more sexually invloved. we really love each other. i am soo scared of becoming pregnant it's frightening. i don't wanna have a child at 15 or even think about it. yes, i am a virgin. i'm 5'2" and i weigh about 107 lbs. i want to get on birth control right away... i need to find an excuse for my mom to let me; i only get my period once a year. i've only every gotten it twice. once in jan 09 for a week and the second time in jan '10 for a week. now it is december '10. my mom says that she doesn't want me getting on any pills. idk why though but i needddd to prevent stuff....... help please any other good excuses???

okay i need to ask you one thing...
do you think you should be having sex with your boyfriend knowing that you dont feel right asking your mother to put you on birth control. I know that you dont wanna hear this but you are too young to be having sex and you should think about having sex....and you should wait but if you wanna have sex you can talk to your mother or you should go to planned parenthood and get your own. If you would like me to help you anymore you can visit my column or e mail me @ penpaperaddict@gmail.com...

Q: So I've dated this guy for about 4 months now I'll call him D. So D & I didn't really know anything about each other. we started dating. We would fight like a normal couple breaking up, getting back together within a couple of hours. We broke up about five times & we would always get back together. The fights were usually trust issues & arguments. So I told D that I was tired of us fighting & we should take a break & solve our problems then we could date again. I went to visit some of my old friends. I told him I'd hang out with my old friend Brian. I wanted to see if he would get jealous. I ended up not hanging with Brian. I told D I hung out with him. Next thing I knew he was barley Texting me & when we did text it was boring three days past & I text D saying iloveu like we always do even if we arnt dating he didn't say it back We stopped Texting for a couple of hours & then I get a text saying hey this is D's girl you don't need to be talking to him you have screwed up to many times and he doesnt want you I texted back & D texted me and said that 5 times of breaking up is too much. I said that that's why we took a break so we could fix this & didnt mean that we would date other people. Dknew that guys had asked me on dates while we were taking our break & I told them no but he still dated this girl. I didn't text him for a couple of days then I felt I still love him why should I hold my feelings back and he said he has a new girl now & I need to forget about it. But I catch him looking at me & his friends tell me that he asks about me & how I'm doing. It's been a week today since he started dating this girl. I can't sleep, I can't eat, & my days consist of thinking about him. I've cried none stop. & I just wish I could go back & be his girl again. & people tell me that I don't need to mess with him because he has a girlfriend now but I can't help it I still love him & I still want to be with him so what could I do to get him back or should I move on?

Ms. Honey,

Okay i know that you are hurting and i know that you think that you cant find someone like him. But im here to tell you that you can. This is what you should of did.... you should of been real with him and told him that you was not hanging with Brian. You should of told him that you wanna be with him. All of this "wanna see if he gonna get jealous" was a bunch of bull....thats what we call kiddie games. So now he got him a new girl and now you are the one who is crying over this not him. I hope that you learn from this and this is what you should do now:

1. stop crying
2. believe that this is his lost and not yours.
3. you need to make him jealous for real by looking your best when you are around him and his friends.
4. and when he say that he wanna get with you again....you look at him and say....

THIS IS YOUR LOST!!!

And if you have any more questions, feel free to ask me and i will never stare you wrong.....one love ...remember you should always have Peace, love, and Chocolate!!

Q: i'm 18 and still a virgin. i'm definetly not ashamed of it, actually i'm kinda proud. its not like i'm ugly, actually alot of people are surprised or don't believe me that i'm still a virgin i just refuse to give my virginity to someone who doesn't deserve it and i haven't met anyone worth giving it to yet (i know i'm old fashioned but whatever). i've had a few boyfriends and definetly many opportunities but i just didn't want to. but i feel like everyone my age and even a little younger has had sex. when i hang out with certain friends thats all they talk about. i mean somethings i can contribute because i've done everything else except actual intercourse. but i just feel like i'm alone. is there anyone out there my age virgins?

You know what...i proud of you. When i was 18, i was still a virgin,and trust me i was happy too. But then again I was doing what you was too...everything but sex. And you know what believe it or not..I know people that is older then you and are virgins.

bio

Ask Mz.Chocolate is where you can email me questions that you need help with such as boyfriends/girlfriends, school, life period....my e-mail is penpaperAddict@gmail.com....PLZ NOTHING STUPID OR DUMB AND ALSO NOOO STUPID QUESTIONS....AND REMEMBER EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE PEACE, LOVE, AND CHOCOLATE!!