Member Since: December 24, 2013
Answers: 2
Last Update: December 24, 2013
Visitors: 558
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My grandmother is mexican and I think she is racist. She used to talk bad about my mom in spanish all of time. She stopped when she found out my mom speaks spanish and her and my mom have had arguments. She told my dad that she didn't want him to be with my mom because she's black. This just really bothers me. I don't like to be around her cause I think she's racist and she doesn't like my mom. I don't like to go to her house, but she is my grandma. Should I ignore her?
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You defiantly shouldn't ignore your grandmother but it is something you both need to discuss. I have dealt with a racist grandmother before and I approached her and talk about it. Explain to her at the end of the day we all bleed the same color and look the same on the inside. Does you're grandma realize there are people racist against Mexicans? How does that make her feel? You have to put yourself in other peoples shoes to judge them
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I was wondering what I could possibly do to make my mom like me again. It seems like after the "child" stage, she stops liking her children. My mother isn't horrible. I don't think of her as the devil or anything but she is very very mean sometimes. Ever since I was about 12 she started talking about me. Not like a mother should talk about a daughter either. She used to make fun of my weight (I had thyroid problems we found out..) She would say that I would turn out like my aunt (she's overweight but not like she needs to be in a hospital sort of way) or that I would be 500 pounds by the time i'm 16. I'm currently 17 right now and my weight still isn't the best but I do try. She's stopped saying all that kind of stuff now. Occasionally, she'll say I need to watch what i'm eating but that's it. My father and mother actually separated last year so it's been extremely tough. She used to fight with my dad but now it seems that i'm her new target. Everything I do is wrong apparently. I'm fine in school, I don't drink/smoke and i'm ALWAYS home (which is a problem to her..?) I always get around to what she wants me to do and i'm literally always there for her. She's recently got a new boyfriend who's an "inspiring artist". He has no job other than painting here and there and he's super super shady (no pda other than inside, no facebook postings, no nothing). He doesn't try to talk to me at all because apparently i'm intimidating to him. I mean if you're dating a mother you should at least try? He's not the problem but he is a huge distraction to her. Ever since he came "back" into her life, my mom seems to want nothing to do with us. She rides with him on his motorcycle literally HOURS away from where we live, doesn't come home until late and always ALWAYS says that she "doesn't want to be a mother anymore" and "go ask your father if you can live with him because i'm done." I mean what could we have possibly done to make her hate us this much? (I have two brothers too.) I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I've been her punching bag for long enough and I would try and give her the world if I could but I just can't. I don't know how to. I'm just a high school student that doesn't even know where she wants to go anymore. I feel like my hope is completely drained and I can't help but feel lost and sad all the time now. Another problem is that I don't have a job. It's not that I don't want one, it's just that I live maybe 20+ minutes walking time away. I wouldn't mind it but I have terrible OCD when walking highways because i've almost been kidnapped about seven times now. It seems like the world just wants me to give up. Every time I feel like i'm a few steps ahead something just comes in and brings me back to the beginning. I don't want to go back to how I used to be but I feel like that's where i'm headed again. I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would really help.
(Therapy is a NO; i've already been through 3 therapists. Court therapy is also a NO; I've already done that and gotten in trouble for it. My mother does not want to go out of her way to fix this/talking to her is like talking to the wall, I must have cried to her a million times by now/living with my dad is a NO too) (link)
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I think you should talk to you're mother about how you as her daughter feel and she might not listen but that's OK. I have been through the stage where me and my mom didn't get along and at the time I didn't think of it as a stage I thought of it as it was going to last forever but i't didn't and we are super close now. I honestly think of it as a teenage thing especially with girls. We go through so many struggles as girls and young woman we sometimes forget about the people that matter. If this doesn't help do you have any other family members you can live with I mean you are 17 so if you chose college it isn't far away so you wouldn't have to live with them for a long time. If you have any other questions just message me :)
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