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Do you want honest answers? I have enough life experience to answer ANY question! I will answer you logically and tactfully from a perspective that is unbiased. Ask away... I look forward to hearing from you!

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I have been with my b/f for about a yr and a half now. We have definitely had our ups and downs. Last year i was at a friends house and one of my b/f's good friends showed up. He asked if i wanted to hang out. Went to his house and he put the moves on me. I refused to have sexual contact with him. Even though i had the urge to. He told me that he was sorry and that he couldnt help but wonder why i was with this other guy and that he thought i was pretty.

Ever since that time, he always makes comments to my b/f about how my b/f doesnt treat me right. Or he will joke around about how im his type. We live in a tight-knit town where everyone knows everyone. I see this guy everyday and he always smiles or stares and then looks away.

My major problem is that im finding more and more that im not in-love with my bf anymore as he has become physically violent.

My sister-in-law thinks that i should leave my bf and go with this guy. I am quite tempted as he and i have so much in common and he knows how to treat a lady. I also have a medical condition where i cannot have children. And this guy has full custody of his little girl. Every time i see him with her i melt because he is such a good father.

Am i wrong for wanting to try and have a relationship with this other guy?
And do you think he would be interested in trying to have a relationship?

First of all, let's be honest. You would have never went over to your boyfriend's best friend's house ALONE with him if you didn't have any romantic interest in him. Good natured flirting and going home with someone are two totally different things. That doesn't necessarily mean that you were 'wrong' to do so. It could just mean that you are already feeling that you have been having more 'downs' than 'ups' with your boyfriend. You said that you live in a tight-knit town. I wonder if you are staying with your boyfriend just because it feels 'safe' and you don't want to 'lose face' when everybody finds out that you aren't together?

Now, for some tough love and honest advice:

#1 - You absolutely CANNOT remain in a relationship where there is any kind of physical violence! What kind of relationship can ever blossom when one person doesn't even have enough respect for you to control his violent agression? Your boyfriend sounds like a very emotionally weak man, and I cannot stress how important it is for you to get out of this relationship as fast as you can.

#2 - As for your beginning interest in this new man, please think carefully before you make any decisions. Make sure that you are starting a relationship based on mutual respect, honesty and integrity, and that his little girl is not filling a maternal longing that you might be feeling. Take some time to re-evaluate what it is you really want in your life, and then decide whether or not to pursue your love interest. Good luck!

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So i was dating this guy and we were getting pretty serious and I was completley head over heels in love with him, and he claimed he was too. EVerything was perfect. Than out of no where tonight he dumps me because he wants to date around and doesn't want to be in a relationship. What do i do?? Is he lying? i Need advice ahhhh

Did you say that everything was PERFECT? Well, if that was the case, I'll bet that you would still be happily in a relationship together... Seriously though, it sounds to me like he was getting bored, or to quote a now cliche phrase, "He was just not that into you."

Don't take it personal, be relieved! Trust me, a man will NEVER lie about wanting to get out of a relationship with you. If he had enough guts to say it to your face and be honest about what he wanted, then it is much better for both of you to get on with you lives.

Stop analizing what 'could have been' or 'what did I do wrong'. Take the bull by the horns, and get out there and meet someone new. Chances are you will be much happier when you are loved and adored by your man rather than being loathed by him. Good luck!

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Dear Melaina,

I am so confused right now. I am in a relationship with a man I'll call 'Tony' for 3 years. We have a one year old daughter together, and we have been sharing an apartment. Last week when he was in the shower his cell phone started ringing. Usually I don't answer his phone, but I didn't want him to miss a call from work or someone important.

Anyways, I answered his phone and it was another woman. I asked who she was and she said she was his GIRLFRIEND, and that they had been dating for a little more than 2 years. They must have started dating when I was pregnant with my daughter. I feel so betrayed, and I want to leave 'Tony', but I have no financial support. I am so upset, and I don't know what to do. Please, help me!

Signed, Brokenhearted

Dear Brokenhearted,

First of all, I would like to say that my heart goes out to you. Being betrayed like you were is the most demeaning feeling, and I wish you a healthy relationship in the future. As for what you can do right now, here are some suggestions:

-So long as you and your daughter are not in any harm living under the same roof as him, you could secretly save up some money and put it into an account that 'Tony' doesn't have access to. Then, when you decide to leave (and you definately need to), you will be able to support yourself and your daughter while you re-locate.

-If you are in any danger at all living under the same roof as him (or you have sustained ANY kind of abuse from him) then you need to leave immdiately and stay at a woman's shelter such as Julian Center. Julian Center provides shelter and counseling to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Please update me with information on your situation, and I will do what I can to help you.

Regards, Melaina

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