Charade's advice column

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Q: hey i was just wondering guys what is somethin that turns you on in a girl wether physically or mentally?

Most of the time it goes in order.

1) physical aspects catch our eyes and makes us notice.

2) Mental/personality makes us stay

but I don't speak for all men, just me and the ones like me ((well the ones who agree with this)). Personal preference is key to anything like this so getting to know someone is really all you have too do.

..... great I'm rambling on.

Personality gets me everytime, I'd rather spend the night with a large women with a great personality than a skin women thats....well a bitch.

Q: ok so her it is.
i have this boyfriend and we have been going out for almost 10 months.
i just recently moved to hawaii.
i dont know if he wants to stay in a long distance relationship, and when i ask him he says yes, but i dont know if he is telling the truth because he always sounds kindof shakey or something.
I'm not sure how i can ask him to not make him feel nervous or something.
What should i like ask him?

well if its a yes then take it as a yes but make sure you do the following things.

1. Keep in contact: phone each other everyday, talk online every night, just interact with each other as best as you can.

2. Let each other know you still care: Mail persents back and forth, both of you go visit each other on the holidays ((you two figure how that will work))

3. Have a life: just like any relationship, having a life outside of it is just fine and very healthy but just remember, if possible inculde your boyfriend in it.

but if that doesn't work, part ways as best you can and find someone in your respected areas.

Q: what's the deal about men with big feet? why

just because, its like asking "what's the deal with women with long legs?" or "what's with men with big hands"

Just happens, its life, but if you don't like it try to date men with smaller feet.

Q: I'm 25 years old. And recently started intercourse with the intention of getting pregnant.

First time, there was an pain like there are two bones wedged against each other, and they are being pulled apart. Like a pelvic pain. Of course, this led to withdrawal as the pain was too much.

Second time, for some reason, there was no pain initially but only when i could feel the hymen forming a wall, which seemingly didnt want to break.

Thirdly, it was back to the same searing pain as if somethings being forcefully pulled apart.

I do have an undiagnosed problem with blood passing with stools. I believe this is hemmorhoids. And i wondered if the problems having full intercourse and the pain i hve may be related.

I do intend to go to my Doc as soon as i can...but just wantes some geenral advice.

Cheers

Well I suggest, looking up medical cases like this on the internet and do some research on it. As being a young man myself I don't know much on a lot of things but I have one thing burned into my brain.

Forewarned is fore armed.

So research, learn and go ask your Doctor some serious questions about this.

Q: hi im 13/f and i am really confused i went out with this guy for like a year.during that year he never once kissed me,never asked me to call him and we never held hands or anything but after a year he broke up with me.i dont no the reason but he did. i still have really strong feelings for him.so a year passed by and he is in a lot of my classes.in one class he sits right next to me and lately he has been talking to me a lot and flirting and he even likes to sit under my desk during class while we r watching a movie.he even told me to call him and gave me his number and walks with me to my next class,he invites to hang out with him at lunch at school, lately i feel like closer to him then i have when we were going out,why is hes doing this
cuz if he likes me still why did he break up with me?if he asks me out do i take the second chance cuz i really like him alot? help soon please
t.l.h.

Number one cause of any problem: Ignorance ((not saying your igoranent, its just a plain fact))

BUT

The Number 1 leading Cause of problem fixing: talking about it

So I suggest one thing to you little miss, talk to him about it and don't be afraid to ask some hard questions like, "why do you show interest in me now and not when we were dating" or my personal favorite, "why did you break up with me".

but in any case, just talk it out with him see where it goes but if it ends up like last time I say dump his sorry ass. At the very least you'll get some closure this time around.

Q: Ok so i went out with this guy for 4months.he was the first guy i have ever loved, kissed, and had sex with. We broke up because he wouldnt leave his ex alone. A few weeks after we broke up he called me begging me to come back to him, but my parents refused to let me see him. by the time i finally convinced them to let me see him again. he told me he didtn want to deal with their crap and he didnt want me to be "hung up" on him. But then he told me he stilled loved me when we were talking. I am extremely confused and miss him like crazy. What should i do?

I suggest a nice long bath and a night of just you and your friends doing something fun, you know just to get you mind off certain things. You know, go to a party or have a party maybe a girls night out but if that doesn't catch your fancy the how about a girls night IN?. Well whatever you choose too do, just relax and take some time for yourself and clear your head.

Then maybe ask yourself,"do I want to be with a man who would choose his ex over his current girlfriend"? If want a lover/boyfriend/lifemate/whatever you should become a high ranking person in his life (somewhere in the range of family value) and never come second to a women he dumped or got dumped by.

In any case, try to have some fun and clear your head before you make a choice like this. Its much easier on you later on.

Q: i hate my body..i play soccer and lacrosse and i like to run.. but all i see is fat. sometimes when i eat i'll make myself purge. i don't want to do it before i do it but after i feel so much better like i've accomplished something. i always count my calories....i don't purge every day.. sometimes it's only once a week or once every few weeks. but sometimes i'll do it more than once a week...am i bulimic? is this serious? do i need help?

I believe you do need a bit of help, maybe a trip to the doctor to see if this is a medical problem or not. Maybe you just need the support of a few of your good friends too help you out, but you should make plans to see if this is serious and catch it before anything happens.

bio

Yes I am Charade, some call me Char others just called me Charade but whatever you feel like calling me go right a head. (( Idiot is fine, I get that from my friends a lot ^^;; ))

Personally I do enjoy helping people, the more the marrier, so I'll answer any question no matter how big or small, how complex or plain, how personal or informal ((note: personal questions may be asked through my AIM so not be explotied by anyone))

So fire away I do enjoy the day I might be stumped.