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I'm that person that everyone calls or e-mails when they need advice. It doesn't matter the subject, they contact me. I don't give you the answer you want to hear and most of my advice is not your mother's advice, if you want your mom's advice--Go ask your mom or mother figure. If you ask a question you will always get an honest answer--note: I did not say the answer you want-- I said an honest answer. If you ask me something I have to research to answer, I will research it and provide you with the source if you ask.

advice

Hello, I recently had sex for my first time on Sunday, the 22nd.

I bled, A LOT and he said I was extremely tight.

Well to my question, its been about 4 days and I'm still in pain down there. I have bloody discharge, and it hurts when I pee. I also have had no appetite for the 4 days and when I do try to eat I just feel really sick, and feel like I'm going to throw up.

How long did you hurt after your first time & is this normal or should I be worried ?

Thanks so much

It depends on the person. I bled a lot my first time too. Being tight is very normal. You could have torn a bit, especially if you weren't really ready and most teenage boys don't worry overmuch about making sure their partner is ready. The feeling sick could be from guilt for having sex, regret for having sex or just sheer panic at the thought you could be pregnant. If you are close to starting your period you could have discomfort from the sexual activity that is increased by the fact you are close to starting your period. I wouldn't worry at this point.

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So, ok im f/14. IM SORRY THIS IS LONG
My boyfriend and i have been together for a year, and nine months.
Recently i have become extremely annoyed by him. We used to be able to talk for an hour or more on the phone and now i dont want to even pic up the phone and call him. but when i do, we have nothing to talk about. He talks about movies and video games i've nevr heard of, and he's not into anything i am.

We are both in our schools orchestra(acctually we are the only ones in our grade) We never were taught to the best we could be, because we were only 2 people. Next year in high school we will be with the other grades of orchestra, and i (although i have been busy this summer, and havent had time) try to practice and get better, he just says it deserves to get bad, and its the teachers fault.
We argue about alot, we have different views on almost everything. LIke he complains that his family is broke and might loose their house, but they own TONS of video games and movies, i say why dont you sell some of them, and he says no, would you rather have a family thats happy, or one thats bored?
BUT YOU WONT BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER IF YOU LOOSE YOUR HOUSE!

He doesnt make sense in the way he thinks, and i've just lost the want of him. He tells me how much he wants me, and stuff (like.. sexual stuff)
And i dont care anymore.
I think i might like another guy, but even if i dont, i still dont really want to be with the guy im with now. But he says imthe only reason he has to live, and if i break up with him, i dont want him to commit suicide!
Please tell me what to do! and how to break up with him gently (and ways to help me get enough courage to break up with him)

Thank you SOOO much!!!

First of all NEVER stay with someone because you are their reason for living. It's a line. Some people would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship because the fear of being alone or having to start over is scary to them. For some it's just a matter of control. Keeping someone else from committing suicide is not your job. If you are that concerned he will do something like that then tell his parents. Lecture portion of the advice is over.

If you feel that you have outgrown the relationship, and it sounds as though you have, then it's time to move on. I would just tell him something like "we've grown apart and the relationship isn't working for me any longer. It's time to move on" DO NOT try the "let's stay friends" thing because in this situation it won't work. It also sounds as though you have goals and he doesn't yet. That's a major hurdle for adult relationships let alone young relationships without a solid foundation.

You're entering high school so I say cut the relationship loose and move on. You will meet new people and have a whole host of new experiences. Enjoy HS and whether you date someone else or not at least you realized this relationship isn't taking you anywhere you want to go.

It's going to be hard and he may try to keep contacting you with the "I love you" and "we can work it out" and the "I'll just kill myself" your response to these comments/threats should be "I'm sorry you feel that way but if you truly love someone you want them to be happy whether they seek that happiness with you or someone else" hang up and move on. Don't let him make you feel guilty for letting go of the relationship. It will be hard but if you have to ignore his calls, texts, e-mails, etc. Good luck.

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ok so i was talking with my counseller today and we came round to the idea that i dont have depression. it was just me putting a label on myself and using it as an excuse for my very faulty thought processes and general fucked up ness.

does that mean im not mentally ill or not??

cause my faulty thought processes and irrational thoughts, belifs and behaviours cause me to be depressed and suicidal and make me want to cut.

im confused.

is there a name or illness similar to what i have just described or is it me still wanting a label???

If there was a label to be attached the counselor would have done it. I think you are looking for a cop out reason to aviod dealing with behavior you know needs to change. Cutting is sometimes an attention process rather than an actual addiction to cutting itself. If you can stop cutting and only use it to show how "depressed" you are then it's an excuse and attention getter not an actual illness. Sounds to me like you need to see that your life isn't so bad compared to other's. Not saying you haven't had issues---we all have but there is always someone with worse that's happened to them.

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do guys like pussy better trimmed or shaved

Depends on the guy. They are all different and all have different preferences.

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how would you "pleasure yourself" with a pillow?

i know some girls finger themselves... but is there any way to "pleasure yourself" without doing that

I think you are talking about the friction that is created when someone rubs on their pillow. It takes a lot longer and doesn't always give you the satisfaction you would get from manual stimulation. You should learn to be comfortable with your body regardless of the method you use to "pleasure yourself" and not feel as if you have to be ashamed or self conscious of your body.

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okay so let me give you some background info i am a girl and i lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 4 months ago and as usaual it was painful. It actually hurt the first 2 times. Then the third time it was idk. It didnt feel good it just didnt hurt. Everytime i have sex now im on my 7th time it feels like i have to pee and i tried peeing before sex but it still feels like i have to pee. My boyfriend always asks me if it feels good. i mean I moan in stuff but only because its sex and its more so the mood and the atmosphere that turns me on but it just dont feel good. but it doesnt hurt. please help

Sounds as if you aren't really ready to be having sex or at least not with this person. Also, some women feel like the are going to pee when they are getting ready to orgasm. Some women also need stimulation other than him going in and out to enjoy sex. HOWEVER, sex is closely linked to emotion for most people and depending on how you really feel about this boy will have a lot to do with how aroused you get and how much you enjoy it. FYI-- the boy should be making sure you enjoy it and not just be after his own "release" and if he isn't then he's not the right one to be having sex with. There is no magic anything you can try to "make it feel good" you have to learn what feels good to you and what turns you on. Some people spend years trying to figure out what it is that really gets them going--others figure it out rather quickly. Make sure he is using a condom and don't fall for the "it doesn't feel the same" routine. If he cares for you he will wrap it.

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ok you guys said that frequent urination is a symptom of pregnancy. but how often is frequent? like i've been peeing every two hours maybe? is that what you mean by frequent? (i usually do not pee that much)

You don't normally notice a change in urinating until you are far enough along in a pregnancy to have no doubt you are pregnant. It sounds more like you may have a urinary tract infection. Anytime you have sex you run the risk of getting a UTI. If it starts to burn or hurt when you pee you definitely should see a Dr so they can prescribe antibiotics. You can also see an increase if you have a kidney stone but if you had a kidney stone you would know it from the intense pain.

If you really are concerned about being pregnant get a test done. You can buy them for less than $5 at any dollar store and they are just as accurate--normally--as the expensive ones. You can also go to planned parenthood and take a free test.

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so i dont know if i have it (yeast infection) because i dont have lumps down their i do use a dull razor blade that ill change today! and it itchs one day then stops and doesnt itch for a long long time and today when i used the restroom i did see white stuff but just today never ever before and i believe i think it smells

so yes or no

if i do then is their things i can use at home to make it go away or something i can do to make it stop and does this spread if you have sex?

if no home products then could you name some over the counter ones and not to expensive and for sure will they work? and how long will it take to go away?

did i get it from having unprotected sex, if yes does that mean my bf has or had it to? and hows it feel to a guy if he has it bc it itchs for girls i believe.

thx in advance to everyone eho asks im worried!!!

You don't have to have bumps for it to be a yeast infection. You can use the over the counter medication but if you had it while you were having sex, protected or not, chances are you shared it with your partner and he will have to have oral antibiotics to get rid of it. Men don't always show symptoms of having a yeast infection so he will need to tell the Dr that you had one and you had sex. If he doesn't get treated as well you will probably end up passing it back and forth. You will need to refrain from sex until you finish all of the medication. Try the 7 day ones because if it is bad the 1 and 3 day varieties do not always work.

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