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Q: My wife and I have not had sex in over a year. I'm 31, and she is 39, soon to be 40 in November. We both were virgins when we married so we had no prior sexual experiences. Almost every time we tried having sex, she said she hurt very badly. Sometimes I wouldn't even be touching her, and she said it felt like I was stabbing her with a knife in her privates. We went to a doctor earlier this year, and after an exam, the dr. determined that a muscle just inside the vagina-I can't remember its name-wasn't "stretched out" like it should be, and after it was, the pain should stop. She prescribed some lidocane gel and told my wife to put it on and just up inside her vagina about 10-20 mins. before sex, and it would numb her so she wouldn't feel any pain in that spot. I even tried some of it on myself on a bug bite one night, and it numbed it so that I could not feel where it itched me. She never has tried the medicine, and every time I bring it up, she either changes the subject, or just says she thinks something else is wrong and doesn't agree with what the dr. said. I said try going and getting a 2nd opinion, but she never has given me an answer. Our 5th anniversary is coming up the 28th of this month, and we're going away for the weeekend. I'd really like to get this problem solved by then, and I think we both would be much happier if it were and we could enjoy our vacation that much more. Also, we are still intimate with each other...I kiss her on her breasts sometimes, and she likes it, and once we were "wrestling" and she accidently hurt my penis, and she "kissed it to make it feel better," and we both enjoyed it, but she just seems uninterested or nervous about trying intercourse again. What can we do to resolve this, and how can I bring up without hurting her feelings, that I'm feeling deprived sexually?

Try to look at things from your wife's point of view. For her, sex is something that has always been associated with pain and distress - not pleasure - so it's little wonder that she's anxious about having intercourse again.
The fact that you are still intimate with her suggests that she hasn't lost interest altogether and that she's probably just as eager as you are to get the problem sorted. So how do you do this? Well, it's time for a full and frank discussion. I know you have tried talking before, but perhaps you're going about it in the wrong way. Instead of asking her to try the cream and talking about how you're feeling, (and I do sympathise with you!) ask her how she's feeling and if there's anything you could do to make her more comfortable with sex. This way, she won't feel like you're pressuring her into doing anything, but she may open up a little and allow you to help.
What I would suggest is that your wife needs to learn to associate sex with pleasure again. The problem seems to revolve around penetrative sex, so have you, for example, tried using oral sex etc to do this? Maybe once she starts to relax again in the bedroom she will feel confident enough to try intercourse.
If, and it's a big 'if' - there's no overnight solution! - this happens by your anniversary, be gentle and go extra slowly (hard, I know, when you're releasing a year's worth of pent up frustration!) The cream that the doctor prescribed sounds like it might numb most internal sensation that your wife may have during intercourse, so while she's not feeling sore, she's not exactly feeling anything else, either! Therefore, make sure you're concentrating on other areas of her vagina and body so that she is more likely to enjoy herself and look for a repeat performance!
Best of luck to you both!

Q: ok me andmyb/f were in his pool and he stuck it in me for like 3 min but ti kept comin out(in those 3 min) and he said nothing came out of him ....we didnt use protection, wat is the chance of me gettin pregnamt???????

I can't give you a percentage, but I assure you that you CAN get pregnant even though "nothing came out of him," and the chemicals in the pool will have no effect on the chances of you being pregnant, either.
The chance is probably quite small, but I would make sure that you take a pregnancy test because there definitely is still a chance.
Next time, use protection because even if he withdraws before he comes, you can fall pregnant. More importantly, a condom will protect you from STDs as well.

Q: Hey there. I started dating my best friend a while ago, you just moved here from Toronto, and he doesn't tell me a whole lot about his life back then. Anyways, we started having sex a couple of monthes ago. I'm on birth control so we don't use condoms, because we both hate them. Anyways, in october i got two infections, and was really sick for a week. I couldn't get out of bed, and i was in pain. I had an yeast infection and urinary tract infection. I went to my doctor, she gave me a lot of medicine. whatever, i got better, continued on with our way of things. Anyways, now in december, i seem to have another infection. I'm thinking it might be yeast infection but i don't know. It's different. He says he hasn't had sex before me, but with all these infection that i get, could he have, or could it be my birth control?

First of all, you've got to go and see a doctor to see if you actually have another infection, and while you're there, you should book in for an STD screening. A yeast infection can be a symptom of an STD, and urinary tract infections can be sexually transmitted, also, so it would be wise to ensure that you've not got anything else that is going untreated. It is possible that your boyfriend has had sex before you, yes, but you have got to be able to trust what he tells you - if you are doubting whether he is telling the truth or not, then it's time to rethink your relationship.
Not using condoms is definitely not a good idea, no matter how much you hate them. Your birth control will only stop you from getting pregnant - the only way to stop yourself getting STDs is to use a condom (because of the fact that you haven't been using them, it is increasingly likely that your infections have been sexually transmitted.) So PLEASE use them in future to prevent a lot of pain!
Hope I helped.

Q: thanks for your advice it help a lot thanks again

No probs!

Q: im 15 and my penis is just over 6 inches long is that about average? im not sure what my girlfriend will think.

Quit worrying! Yeah, that is average so don't panic! According to statistics (I researched it for you, lol) most guys have a penis that is 5.5 to 6.5 inches long when erect, so you're perfectly normal.
Don't worry about what your girlfriend will think - she will probably be too petrified of what you'll think about her body to think of anything else, so take things slowly and everything will be fine! :-)

Q: my boyfriend and i went to the movie last weekend and we planned on making out(my first time) i really wanted too and i was nervous. he tried and I freaked out and after that all i wanted to do is make out wit. hould i talk to him about it! I really want to but i honestly dont know how give me TIPS! 13f

Hey!
First of all, don't worry too much - there's no right or wrong way to kiss, so just relax and it will be fine. You could talk to him about it but I'm sure he'd be just the same as you - really scared in case he doesn't kiss you "properly" and nervous (everyone gets like that)! The next time you're out together, take things slowly and go with the flow. It's not that bad - honest!!
Good luck!

Q: i just lost my virginity nd now im freakin out cuz we were dumbasses nd didnt use ne thin i forget wen i last had my period nd i don remember wen im supposed to get it next nd im like freakin out bout maybe bein pregnant or sumthin wut r my chances of bein pregnant?? i kno that there is a chance cuz theres always a chance but like is it a big chance or a small chance lol idk im freakin out so sumone lemme kno! thnx!!!

I'm afraid your chances of being pregnant are quite high if you used no form of contraception. You don't mention exactly how long it has been since you had sex. If it was less than 72 hours ago, then you can take the morning-after-pill and it could stop you from falling pregnant. If you take it within 24 hours, it is 95% effective at preventing pregnancy, within 48 hours it is 85% effective, and if you take it between the 48-72 hour period, it is only 61% effective. So if you did have sex in the last 3 days, try to obtain the pill as soon as possible.
If you had sex over 72 hours ago, the best thing to do would be to tell someone (perhaps your mum or another relative) and get yourself an appointment with a doctor who can arrange a pregnancy test.
You've also got to remember that having unprotected sex could give you an STI even if you, or your boyfriend don't have any symptoms of one. A lot of these infections/diseases go undetected for long periods of time, and they can lead to infertility, amoung other things. It would be wise to arrange for a screening to check if you have got anything. The chances are that you haven't but you're better safe than sorry, eh?
Good luck!
*If you find out you are pregnant and need any more advice just ask me :-)

Q: ok, I was 12 whenever I first had sex...( I know Kinda young but...I was turning 13 soon) Well...it hurt SUPERSUPER bad but they say that after it hurts it's supposed to feel godd...but it didn't...it never once felt good...then the second time (i've only done it 2 times) it still didn't feel good..it kind hurt..adn once again NEVER once felt good?!?! whats wrong with me?!?!

Hey hun,
I'm not going to lecture you because I assume you know that 12 is a very young age to have sex. To answer your question quite frankly, losing your virginity is obviously gonna hurt because the guy is breaking your hymen but if you're really nervous or unsure it will hurt no matter whether you've had sex 1 or 1000 times. When you're unsure about having sex, your muscles tighten up and the guy will hurt you when he enters you. So what I suggest for the future is not to have sex outside a stable relationship with anyone you don't trust, and even then, always use contraception to keep safe. Then you won't have to worry about STDs, pregnancy etc and you won't be as nervous so you will be able to enjoy the experience! :-)

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Hi everyone,
If you have anything to ask me please feel free to do so and I will try to answer as openly as possible and help you as much as I can.
Ceece xxxx