Sensaura's

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OK, my life sucks. My mother hates me and is doing drugs, my dad keeps molesting me and I can't feel emotions or make friends. Now how the fuck do I commit suicide.

Nothing will even have the chance of getting better if you commit suicide.

By committing suicide you're cheating yourself out of a future withOUT being molested and hated; a future withOUT having to rely on protection from someone who is on drugs.

By committing suicide --- you lose, and they win.

Don't let them win. Go to the child protective agency. Go to the police department. Go to the courthouse. Go to your teacher, your principal, your counselor. Go to someone and get help. YOU have done nothing wrong - yet (I hope) - if you kill yourself, then you've done something wrong.

If you are ashamed or afraid - how can it be worse than dying? Everyone will know if you kill yourself, and no one will be able to help. At least if you go to someone now, you won't be dead.

Right now there is a very GOOD chance that your life WILL get better. If you kill yourself, you are throwing away that chance.

Plus, the ones abusing will most likely just find someone else to abuse. If you come forward, they may be charged and those charges may save the next child they decide to abuse.

You have a responsibility to yourself and to the world to stay alive and come forward. Make them take responsibility for THEIR actions. Don't let them win.

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i feel like my life is crumbling down. I'm thirteen,
my sister hates me and thinks i lie all the time, my boyfriend just wants me for sex, my best friend talks about me behind my back, my mom doesn't listen when i tell her i hate my life, my parents are divorced, my grades suck and nobody listens when i tell them i cant do it,everyone thinks I'm crazy, my parents both like my sister better, I'm the ugly one of the family who is good for nothing, sometimes my life hurts so bad it hurts, and Ive lost all hope that it can get better. I'm actually crying as I'm writing this. dying seems like the only way out, but i don't know if death hurts. all TV says its a relief and that its carries you away but what do they know? Why cant something in this world be hopeful? I hate it all. someone please help.

Let me help you, please don't give up. Life is only just beginning for you and so many things can happen that you would never dream of. I will tell you what happened to me. I was a happy child, and though I did have rough times when I was your age, only once was I so low that I thought of suicide. I was with a boy who just couldn't keep it in his pants, and he cheated on me with everything in a skirt. I loved him dearly and knew that underneath all of the bravado and the mask he wore for everyone, he was a very special guy. I was going to marry him.

Finally, at 17, I was able to break away. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

When I was 19 I married the wrong man. He wanted me to sleep with other guys. Again, I loved him dearly and I wanted so badly to please him. He made me feel like I was a prissy, ignorant child - he made me feel as if it was the expected thing that all normal people did, swapping wives - that kind of thing. I did it, and I ended up in an affair with the other guy that lasted twelve years. It ended with a devestation that was almost unbearable. I lost my husband, because he had fallen into an online porn habit that made him believe it was normal to want unnatural things - he made passes at our daughter. I found out about it at the same time the affair I was in broke up. I lost my husband, my lover, found out my daughter had almost been molested - all within a few week's time. I was beyond devestated.

It was the hardest, darkest and most horrible time in my life. It made breaking up with my first boyfriend look like a trip to Disneyland.

Then several things happened all at once. I met a man - who I am still with now - and he not only is the man who I've always dreamed of, but he brought me to God. For a while I was deliriously happy; now it's settled and I'm overall pretty happy - but everyone has bad day. *smile*

I was in the darkest place I had ever imagined - but it really did get better, and looking back, all of the bad *had* to happen - so that I could see and appreciate the good I have now. If life is all good, you won't ever be able to understand what "good" really is. Experiencing the bad is necessary, or you can never experience the good.

Things will get better for you, too. You are at a stage in your life where your emotions are stretching their wings - think of it like this: as a child you didn't have very strong emotions, they were not grown yet. Now, your body is changing and your emotions are changing, too. They're testing themselves. They're pushing as far as they can and pulling you along for the ride, and it HURTS. It's the most intense your emotions will be for the rest of your life! They *will* settle, they will calm. It's the hardest time in your life, right now, but you will get past it, you will get through it, and beyond that is a whole world where the opportunities are endless.

Don't depend on your parents or your sister to make them go away - they have forgotton and they don't understand, they love you- just from what you say I know they do, but they just don't know how to react to the way your emotions are battering you right now. They have forgotton.

Your parents are divorced - try to think about you and your boyfriend, and imagine how badly it would hurt if you broke up. That's how badly they are hurting, and they don't know how to handle it. Remember that it's not your fault - none of what is happening is your fault. They are having devastating emotions of their own, and those emotions are overwhelming to them, and they try to help you but they really don't remember how strong and intense emotions are at your age, and they are probably trying to think of a way to help you and just don't know how. To you it seems like they don't care, but they are just confused and in pain themselves.

Your sister is probably going through a lot of the same things - she just handles it differently. She might be holding it all in instead of letting herself really *feel* it. If so, it's going to explode on her one day. At least you are *feeling* it - you are trying to *deal* with it. It's not easy, no, not by any means at all, but you *can* do it! If you couldn't your mind would automatically suppress it. The mind works like that.

Your boyfriend and your best friend need to go - they are not good enough for you. Make sure, though, that you're not becoming too afraid, and seeing what you fear instead of what is really there.

There is hope, my friend, there is a future. What you are going through is actually normal - and it feels like everything is falling on top of you and you're going to be crushed - I know it does! - but you are strong and you can endure it. That's all that you must do, is endure it.

Take a sheet of paper and write down some goals. Then take one of those goals and write down the steps you need to take to get there. Then focus on each step, one at a time, and you will begin to feel better.

Look around at nature - nature is the most powerful force on earth. Nature is *why* these emotions are tearing you apart. Watch a sunrise, alone, and think about how powerful nature is, and try to understand that the very power that creates such beauty is the very *same* power that is pulling you around with these unbearable emotions.

Try to work your way back to basics. Try to quietly make your way through each day - one at a time. Do what you're supposed to do; listen to the teachers, work on your homework, find time to be alone and just think about what your goals are and how you will achieve them. If there are people who make you feel bad - avoid them. If there are things that make you feel good - truly, deeply good - good about yourself, as well as superficially good - do those things often.

Volunteer to help a child. Buy some toys and take them to a church - all churches have need of donations, in any form - tell the church you want the toy to go to a child who is alone. You will feel better knowing that YOU did something that is going to make a child smile.

If things upset you when you think about them, try not to think about them. Push them out of your head and try to distract yourself. It is SO hard, but it REALLY works.

Please, remember that no matter what, there is one person, right here - ME - and I CARE about what happens to you. I feel like your family cares, too, and God knows I might be wrong, but I think they do. No matter what, I do care, and I want to help; I haven't much to offer, but I can offer my best wishes and my reassurances that things *will* get better.

You might also try talking to your counselor at school. They get paid to help the students - not just with schedule issues and so for, but with personal issues! If the counselor blows you off, complain to the principal. If the principal blows you off, go to the administration. Someone along the way will see that you are troubled and will find a way to help.

You have so many, many years ahead of you. The whole world is open to you, and you would be missing out on so, so much if you gave up now. I know, I promise, it gets better - it gets easier; you only have to remember that your emotions are going haywire - they're testing the boundaries, seeing how hard they can push. It's normal - although it is much more difficult for some girls than it is for others. They're just developing SO SO fast that they are out of control. They will settle, and you will see things differently very very soon, maybe even tomorrow, and it would be terrible if you didn't wait to see.

So try to grit your teeth, try to put yourself in places that are calm and beautiful and peaceful, try to see the beauty of nature - and remember that the beauty is created by the same force causing the violence of your emotions: Nature.

I am sorry this has been so very long, but I can't say enough that I DO care. I've needed help sometimes and the world has beaten me down so many times that all I want to do now is BE THERE for other people who are in that dark, unhappy place that you describe and where I was, when I needed help from someone - anyone - who actually might care, and there was no one there. I want to do my part to make sure at least ONE person in this world does not have to suffer being in that dark and hopeless place alone. I am with you, and I care.

I hope I will hear from you soon. Visit my page and get my email, and write to me if you want. I'll do anything I can to help - even if it's just listening. You are NOT alone. *HUGS*

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Okay, so I am 15 years old and i love watching porn. and no im not turned on by in by i just like watching it. is this normal?

It's normal to be curious and fascinated by porn, and if you just watch it every now and then, it's probably not an addiction. If you think about it all the time and watch it every chance you get, you are probably developing an addiction and should do something to break the habit immediately.

At this point in your life, if you watch porn without understanding what you're really watching, you probably will develop a very warped and twisted attitude about sex. This will lead to relationship problems for the rest of your life, and worst of all, you'll won't ever truly experience how absolutely, heavenly, amazing, and wonderful - sex can and SHOULD be.

Real life isn't like porn. In real life sex is personal and private - THE MOST intimate thing you can do with any other person. No matter what your friends say or what you hear, sex is not casual, it always comes with strings attached. There's the chance of pregnancy, the risk of diseases - and even the cleanest person in the world, even virgins, can get these diseases - from blood transfusions, from dirty cuts, there are many ways to pick up diseases. They are passed not just by sex, but also by blood.

The people in porn flicks are not having sex - they're performing. They're pretending. It's completely fake. There's a roomful of people you can't see and cameras everywhere. They wear makeup all over their bodies and say the same lines and do the same things over and over and over again until they get it perfect. Often they take drugs so they can endure it - because usually they are NOT having fun, it's tedious and disgusting and shameful to them. They have to make a living - it's all about money. The people in the video make money, the people selling the video make money - and the people addicted to it - and the people like YOU - PAY that money.

Yes, it's normal to be curious, and even to be somewhat fascinated by porn. Just remember that's the reaction they WANT you to have - because they want you to pay. The directors are there, off screen, telling them every move to make, all to come up with the kinkiest things imaginable - just to sell movies and clips.

No matter how you look at it, there's nothing really good about porn. If you're with your friends and you're all watching it - try to remember exactly what it is you're watching. Otherwise, try not to watch it - because you're not seeing sex at all. Just actors playing a part.

Above all, remember that sex is the physical side of love. It's the most intimate, personal, private, and special act that should only be done with someone you already feel close and intimate with. You should be able to tell this person anything before you ever have sex, and when you do have sex, it's between the two of you and NO one else. Otherwise you'll be cheating yourself AND the person you're with out of truly enjoying one of the most amazing and wonderful things you will ever do in your entire life.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you are able to figure out why you like it so much and then kick the habit! :) Live life to the fullest - but don't cheat yourself out of the wonderful experience that sex is supposed to be.

If you do keep watching porn, don't let it fool you into thinking sex is the way they make it seem on the screen. Sex is the closest you will ever get to a person; don't waste it on someone you barely know or hardly care for.

Good luck!!

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how to kiss

Simply close your eyes, let your lips be soft, touch your partner's lips with yours, and if the chemistry is there - the rest will come naturally. Touch your partner's face, stroke their hair, and don't force it, just let it happen slowly and naturally.

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