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sofi_heva@hotmail.comGender:
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WalesOccupation:
Peace Studies StudentAge:
17Member Since:
September 30, 2003Answers:
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about
Hello,how are you? I hope you're fine but if you're not then just ask and I'll see what I can do. I'm a 17 yr-old girl.I live in Wales,Britain so I'd be good for an outsider's view.I'm studying for my A-levels in History,English Lit,Media Studies and Welsh.I play the cello and I'm in a whole bunch of orchestras,and a choir or two. I'm an OXFAM volunteer and I'm looking for paid work to fund university this Autumn.
The picture on this column is obviously not a picture of me, it is my avatar from Spacefem.com.
I'm bisexual and I have a boyfriend, so questions about coming out or dating are fine by me. I live with both parents and my younger brother and sister so i know quite a lot about family dynamics.
I'm very open-minded and I'll try to answer as best I can. Basically you can ask me qestions on pretty much anything.
I hope you're all doing OK.
advice
What is the likelihood of geting pregnant if you have unprotected sex whilst on your period ?
I'm afraid to say that it is entirely possible to get pregnant any time you have sex, whatever the time off the month. The sperm will stick around inside your body for quite a while. For some women the liklihood it's a bit reduced if they have sex during their period but not at all significantly. MOre importantly perhaps, the risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases is the same whether you are on your period or not.
If you have had unprotected sex then I'd suggest you might want to go to a family planning or sexual health clinic for a checkup and if your period is late then a pregnancy test would probbly be a good idea.
I'm sorry if this all sounds a bit scary but it's quite important. You should always use proper protection if you choose to have sex.
Hoped that helped and feel free to ask me anything,
Girlwithamansname
My boyfriend and i have been dating for a year. . i found out he had been "talking" with a few other girls.. he says he hasnt done anything with them but come on, we all know some guys just cant admit things ? Him and i have been sexual but once i found out about the other girls i just didnt have the drive to want to do anything with him, but once i did. . well, now i have a huge buldge in the back of my throat and its inflamed. It hurts to swallow and seems kinda; pussy if that could be ? What do you think it could be? Maybe, and HOPEFULLY just bronchitis or something of that sort. Also, even if it could be something else; my mom doesn't know that him and i have been having sex. Even though i am 17.. she would absolutely freak. Advice.. please.
It sounds like you have tonsillitis/ other similar illness.
Whatever it is you should go and see a doctor to get it checked. You can go in secret if you want but your mum would probably want to help if you're ill. You don't need to tell her that you think it could be an STI (which it is VERY unlikely to be) and you can can bee seen by the doctor on your own if you want.
well the other day when my friend slept over it was time to put our pj's on and i usually go into the bathroom to get changed and my friend just started to take it all of in front of me and i got nervous so i went to the bathroom.....does that mean anything?? like did she want to see me naked or somthing?? because she is usually a private person about that stuff
signed confused?
i rate 5's for GOOD answers
PS im a girl
It's perfectly normal for people to get changed into their PJ's in the bedroom, even at a sleepover. It's quite likely that it was subconcious- she was used to doing it at home so she went ahead and did it. I doubt very much that she did it to see you naked.
I wouldn't take her actions as a sign of anything untoward or unusual. She might be Bi/gay but getting changed at a sleepover is no indication of this.
Don't worry about it. In future, if you would rather that she got changed in private, just ask something like 'Do you want to use the bathroom first or shall I'.
-Girlwithamansname
My boyfriend and I started to become sexual, and we have done everything short of actualy having sexual intercourse. We are both virgins. I wouldnt mind if we had sex, and when I attempted to approach the subject, I found out that he wants to wait until marriage. I didnt think much of it at the time, except that it was a bit odd. Now, though, my mind has run away with itself, and I'm thinking things like: Obviously sex is very meaningful to him, but everything else is not? I am the first girl he has done absolutly anything with, and we did stuff after about a month. If he is waiting for sex until marriage, but has no problem doing everything else, does everything else (hands, oral) have absolutly no meaning to him? Which is just completly different than how I am on oral, because for me, atleast,oral takes alot of trust, on my part. I'm not quite sure what to think on this one. Any advice would be appreciated.
First I want to clarify that you are still a virgin until you have had penetrative sex. Oral etc does not count.
What is your boyfriends reason for wanting to wait until marriage? Is it religion based? If so his refusal to have penetrative sex is most probably simply obedience.
Any form of sex is important and involves trust on both parties. The fact that he doesn't want to have penetrative sex shouldn't diminish the importance of other intimacy.
It would probably be a good idea to talk to your boyfriend about all this and explain how it makes you feel.
I hope that helped.
*Girlwithamansname
Okay me and my boyfriend had sex i would say two weeks ago this happened. and while we were having sex and he cum. and after we got done he noticed the condum was not on him anymore. Later when i got into the shower i noticed that i was kinda sore down there and thats when i relaized that the condum was stuck in me. My friends mom said that there is a 99% chance that I could get pregnant is this true.. Lately i have been feeling sick to my stomach but it could always be from the hot wheater.. is it too soon to get a test .. What do i do? do you think i might be pregnant.
You should always make sure that you use a condom when you have sex and that, when he withdraws, he keeps hold of the condom at the base of the penis.
The liklihood of you being pregnant is not 99% but it is still possible. If you are worried then you should go to a family planning clinic and get it checked out. Don't worry, the people there are very nice and helpful.
I hope that helped.
*girlwithamansname
Hi.. i was just wondering when you do that one parent planhood thing to get on birth control.. what do you exactly have to do when you go to the place??
i rate high!!
It depends a little bit whether you live in Britain or America or some other country. It also depends on whether it is a drop in clinic or appointment only.
If you need an appointment then phone up in advance (most places provide a drop in service in emergencies), otherwise just show up. Try to get there relatively early on so as not to have to wait to long.
Go to the reception and give your name. If it's your first time then you will probably be given a form to fill in. You then wait until you are called for your appointment.
When you go in they'll check up on some aspects of your general health and ask you what you are there for and things will progress accordingly. If you have a specific question or problem then they will answer it for you. If you want condoms then they will talk a bit about safe sex and then give a lot of condoms and some leaflets in a 'discreet' brown paper bag. If you want to go on the pill then they'll discuss it with you and measure you blood pressure. You'll then be seen by a doctor who will prescribe the pills and give them to you in another 'discreet' paper bag, probably with abunch of condoms and leaflets as well.
okay im going to the gyno to get on birth control pills! now will they be able to tell if you are pregnant or do you like have to ask for a test. im pretty sure im not pregnant so i wont ask i just want to know????
i need help fast thanks
The people are family planning clinics are almost unfailingliy very nice and helpful people. Plus, they talk about sex for a living so they won't be fazed by anything you ask.
If you are worried that you might be pregnant then you can ask for a test and they should be able to do it in about 5-10 minutes.
If you are just going to get birth control pills then you won't need a pregnancy test unless it's likely that you are pregnant. It is obviously not adviseable to take the pill whilst pregnant.
They'll ask you some basic questions about your general health, menstrual cycle and family medical history, and they'll probably measure your blood pressure too.
It's nothing to be scared of and it's completely confidential. You should be sure though that the pill is right for you. There are some medical studies which suggests it has some adverse effects and even if it works as it is supposed to you still need to be very organised about taking the pills.
Don't worry and good luck. I hope I helped.
*Girlwithamansname
ok i was in the store with my friends and therr b/fz n they werr talking about finger condoms..what are they used for and where can you buy them?? thankz for the help and i rate HIGH!
Well they do exist but they usually aren't used in a sex context. They are usually called finger stalls in Britain and they are used to protect the finger if there is a skin infection or a cut.
I suppose some people might use them in sex whilst "fingering" a girl, but that isn't very common.
You can get them from chemists and sometimes in supermarkets-not dodgy sex shops.
I hope that helped.
*Girlwithamansname
Okay, this is kind of a weird question, but I've been having issues with my jaw...When I give my guy oral, I often have to stop because my jaw hurts.
What confuses me is that I sing, so my mouth often opens quite a bit, and my jaw doesn't hurt and crack after I sing. But when I go down on him, my jaw hurts so much after awhile I have to stop.
Are there tricks I could use that don't involve me keeping my jaw open for minutes at a time?
Also, tips for getting teeth out of the way...they aren't a major problem, just a minor worry of mine. I'm a tad inexperienced, as you can probably tell...
I don't wanna strain my jaw 'cause I need it to sing, and it's incredibly awkward if I'm going for a high C and instead of hearing the note first, I hear >CRACK
I don't know what could be causing the problem with your jaw but I do have some relevant advice.
1)Don't try deep throating if your jaw is painful and always be the one in control.
2)Try using your tongue more than your lips as this means your mouth won't have to be kept open as much.
3)Use your hands on the shaft and your mouth only on the tip as this should help out with the problems with your jaw and your teeth.
Go and see a nurse if your jaw keeps giving you trouble-embarrassing but over quickly. Good luck with the singing!
*Girlwithamansname
I was just wondering if it will hurt getting in the butt, cause i really want to do it with my 2 boyfriends, you know like one up each hole type thing?? But I am scared whats it going to feel like.... please help!!!!
I'm assuming that both of your boyfrinds know about the other and are okay with it.
The "spit-roast" is quite popular with some people. Judging by the amount of people who do stuff along those lines it can't be too painful.
I would advise using a lubricant though.
Ok my name is Theo.Ok this is my problem.There are these kids that are teasing me and I can't do anything about it.I don't dare even to think of going to a teacher because they won't do anything.I told my mother and she said she could come and see the kids ut I don't want that because I am afraid they will hurt me(punch me etc.).So I don't know what to do.I have come to a point where I don't want to go to school .Ok I am not considering suicide because I have learned to deal with my problems and ask for advice.
I was teased a lot in junior school- I was completely ostracized. I told my parents and I told the school and it started to improve. If it comes to the worst then they could arrange for you to move schools.
Your school should have an anti-bullying policy which they can put into action if you tell them about it. It might seem pointless but you should talk to a teacher. if you tell one and nothing happens go to another or talk to your head teacher.
This might seem cliched but don't let them know that you're bothered by it. don't just ignore thembecause they'll realise what you're doing.
Also read Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card- some of the stuff that Ender uses, particularly his attitude to Bernard and Alai would be useful for you.
Tell as many people who can help you as you can-friends,family,teachers. Bullies are less likely to attack someone witha support base.
how do u give oral to a guy????
~> confuses!
Are you the same person who asked about Oral Sex and ejaculation?
Because if you are it sounds like some guy has been pressuring you to give him oral sex and that is NOT GOOD!
Um...I'm sorry but I'm not quite clear on what oral sex is...or ejaculation...it's all so confusing because I thought oral sex was simply saying the actions, not actually doing them. I didn't know you could get HIV and all of that stuff from it. Can someone please explain it to me???
From~
Curious
Oral sex is when the sexual organs are stimulated using the mouth. Does a blow job sound familiar at all? It doesn't involve penatrative sex but you can still get STI's so use a condom or a femidom( depending on the sex of the reciprocant. It can be done to and by both sexes but some people don't like the idea of it.
Ejaculation is when a guy 'comes'. Sperm shoots out of the penis (hopefully into a condom unless you are trying for a baby). I have heard of female ejaculation but i'm not entirely sure as to the truthfullness of the rumours.
Don't you get Sex Education at school? Is there someone you trust(like a parent) that you could talk to about this? Don't trust everything your friends say.
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for like almost 2 years and we want to have sex but i am a Virgin and i dont know how it would fell can i get some advice explain how it fells and what i should do
How old are you?
You don't sound like you are ready to have sex-you are obviously freaking out and blatantly undecided.
I think you should talk to your boyfriend about it-if you can't talk to him then do not even consider sleeping with him.
You probably won't want to talk to your parents but maybe talk to your school nurse,your friends.
Always use a condom.