Hi all, I am a 26 year old Legal Consultant from New Jersey. I have a Law Degree, BA in Political Science, with a minor in Women Studies all from Rutgers University. I have been through many things in my life and dealt with all kinds of people. I open to topics from Spiritual Issues, Pregnancy, Eating Disorders, Friendships, Autoimmune diseases, etc. I am well versed. I do not claim to have all the answers and can only give advice based on experience of my own life and knowledge I've learned from others. I am trying to give back to people, as I've been fortunate to have had a great support system. Feel free to contact me :)
Gender: Female
Location: New Jersey
Occupation: Legal Consultant
Age: 26
Member Since: November 1, 2006
Answers: 26
Last Update: January 20, 2009
Visitors: 3205
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I'm torn and at a loss. I'm very close friends with a married couple. The husband has become like my brother. He's very protective of me and has been there for me more than I could ever ask for. I go to church with him, his wife, kids, and his parents. Well, a little over a year ago me and my fiance broke up and I got into the whole partying scene with his wife. One night, this guy was over at their house and she was prancing in front of this guy in a short tshirt and thongs. I ignored it. Then at this party a month or so later, a bunch of us were playing poker and it turned into strip poker. I quit, but she continued playing (she was the only woman playing). She was sitting in a guy's lap and the only thing she was down to was her thongs and cowboy hat. I felt this alone was cheating. Well, things went a little further that night and she told me that her and him kissed. But I feel it may have went further than that. They continued calling each other for a week or so after this happened. I urged her to stop. She'd admit that it was bad, but she would continue. So, I backed off and got back in church. This summer we started hanging out again, and before I know it - I'm pulled right back into the same situation - knowing and seeing her mess with this guy. I've recently found out that she's been with a few more guys that I know. It's so hard for me - I want to tell her husband so bad because it's unfair to him. But I've vowed to stay out of it.
More bad news...I've fallen for her husband hard. Feelings I've never felt before, I'm feeling for him. Sometimes the way he looks at me and talks to me - I feel he may feel the same way. My mom believes he feels feelings for me also but he's trying so hard to make his marriage work. His mother has made comments to me and my mom before that she wishes he would have met me before his current wife because he would date me in a heartbeat. I've backed off from him because I know I don't need to feel the way I do. But he'll call me or will come see me and I just break down b/c it hurts so much. I just dont know what to do. Can someone help me and steer me into a direction that's right? I don't feel I'm in a position to be a homewrecker... (link)
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Well that sounds like quite the situation. You mentioned getting back into church, being a child of God you should know God promotes marriage. I do not believe God condones leaving marriages and I KNOW he does NOT approve of cheating. Maybe you could try ministering to your friend about her behavior, other then that your obligation is to NOT be with her husband regardless of other people's opinion. He is a married man and it will never be okay to be with him, especially while he is married. The baggage that comes with him, is more then you should want to bare. It's funny because I have recently been in a situation like that, and I have to tell you nothing good came of it. RUN AWAY as fast as you can!! I know I say this all the time BUT, you can not control the actions of other people, but YOU ARE responsible for your actions. You have to be the strong one and say no, and do not get involved with him. I also think it's not your place to try and sort out their marriage. My friend has been cheated on numerous times, and I've learned no matter what I say is not going to change her mind, in fact she ends up taking her anger out more on me. Sometimes people just don't want to hear it instead they'd rather ignore it and not deal with things. SO all I can tell you is stay away from him in a romantic way and just try and live your life. It's a complicated situation you should stay far away from, it will only bring you down. If you'd like to further conversate on this topic, please feel free to send a message to my personal email... kellieslaw@aim.com. I have a very close personal experience with this topic.
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I lost my best friend over the summer because she fell into the life of drinking at a young age. I was forced to restart and find a whole new group of friends. Its been rough, but I've managed to be friends with a few people in several groups. How do I know which ones to trust? I already made a new very close friend, who turned out to be a big liar and backstabber.
I don't want to continue on without friends. (link)
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There's always going to be people who disappoint you and hurt you. It's sometimes hard to know in advance that someone will. In my experience, if people are talking to you about their other friends and not keeping their secrets, chances are they will not keep yours either.
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i think my best friend likes my boyfriend. they are friends but she calls him all the time talks about him comstantly and flirts with him when im not around .. what do i do .. ive confronted her before and she denied it, but my other friends have noticed too. (link)
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I suggest talking to your boyfriend. You can't change how she acts and if she likes him that's not going to change even if you talk to her. You need to find out how your boyfriend is reacting. If he doesn't notice, or blows her off then obviously he's only into you. If he's flirting back and giving her a reason to flirt more then maybe you need to move on.
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i've had the same group of best friends for five years & i've recently lost them all because i tried to do the right thing. anyway, i decided that i don't need negative people in my life. sooo...i'm going to try & make new friends & i was wondering: what are some good conversation starters? [: (link)
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It's not so much about starting conversations, I suggest getting involved in new activities and clubs. That way you find the kind of friends that you have a lot in common with!
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ok so im 13/f and my friend (13/f) goes out with like every boy in the school and i know you like cant go out with your best friends ex but shes like getting them and dumping them. what can i do? (link)
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Date them anyway, this isn't monopoly!
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