Hello, my name is Jane Moon.
I have been through some things: rape; sexual harassment; sexual relationships; relationships with both older guys and younger; drinking; recently-gotten-over anorexia; and of course, love and crushes. I also grew up with a lot of guyfriends so I understand why they act the way they do.
I had hard times going through problems, and I wouldnt be able to forgive myself if I let another person go suffer like I did. I want to help you, because you probably dont deserve all these pains happening to you. There is no way to stop them--they are part of life--but I CAN help you go through it without much pain.
I can help eating disorder problems well especially, because i have been there myself, and my friend helped me get over my disorder, so i know how i can help.
You are NOT alone.
Remember,I'm always here to help if you need me.
Feel free to AIM me.
[IntoxicantxLovE]
Website: Click here to read my blogs.
E-mail: jane-moon@hanmail.net
Gender: Female
Location: South Korea
Occupation: Student, Artist, and Photographer
Age: 15
AIM: Intoxicant Xlove
Member Since: September 29, 2004
Answers: 14
Last Update: January 24, 2005
Visitors: 3314
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I have this friend who likes to know just everything about my life, and always talks about me behind my back to my really good guy friend. Shes acuused me of liking every guy she has, but its honestly the opposite way around. She really is a backstabber and my guy friend says that i should confront her of what shes doing because shes ruining my chances of going out with anyone because she starts to like them and then i feel bad and want her to have him. I really dont mind if she talks about me because shes only hurting herself, but now im starting to wonder if it will get worse and i should do somthing about it?? please help! (link)
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The reason why she struggles so hard to find out everything in your life is probably because she fears you are not telling her your secrets because she isn't cool and trustworthy to share secrets with you.
Her obvious tendency for liking every guy you like just shows how she wants to be superior than you are lovewise and social rankwise.
She is jealous.
She is angry because she somehow feels inferior in social rank, as if you took all the guys she likes. My guess is that you either went out with the guy she likes/liked or that guy likes/liked you from the fact she accuses you of liking every guy she has. So now she is trying to make herself feel equal to you by doing the same thing you unintentionally did:taking away the guys.
I know she must be really cold to you, because she is heartbroken.
And I think we all know how painful a heart broken is...
Though I know it'd be hard for you, I want to ask you to please try not to yell back at her. Her anger is simply clumsy attempt to cover her tears...
Do not try to cheer her up by attempting to hook her up with that guy she SAYS she likes. This will only anger her, mistakening your gesture for trying to part her away from the guy she really likes. If you feel you should help her, ask what happened. She wouldnt tell you so easily, not forgiving you for what you've done, but someday she will tell you. Just be there with her and tell her she will be alright. That's all she needs.
I sincerely hope my answer will help you. :)
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I have a friend...let's call her "Megan". Megan and I are pretty cool. We hang out at school, between classes and after school on occasions. I have no problem going places with her, spending the night at her place...stuff like that. We're pretty good friends. She just has this really annoying habit of always trying to ruin someone else's good time.
Like, in an argument, when she's wrong and you're right, she'll scramble for any possible reason to say you're still wrong. Or if something good happens to you, she'll always say something to make you feel terrible about it. I hope that makes sense. It bothers me a lot and I've tried telling her it's annoying, but she still does it.
I don't want to stop being friends with her. She's cool most of the time. This is just starting to get to me. Why can't she let anyone else have a little sunshine sometimes? :( (link)
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Seeing how she refuses to admit her defeat in arguments, she is obviously feeling insecure about herself and lacking in self-esteem.
I know this must be frustrating for you, because she most probably is the person who always has to have the Best of Best and never a single defeat. She is feeling imperfect and left out.
She is simply in that stage where she wants to feel like she belongs, like she is special and people have a reason to care for her.
This will be really hard, but in a state like this it will only make her worse if you should leave her.
It'll be weird, but try to compliment her on small things.. and let her know we are all gifted in some way. Show her how you are imperfect in certain area whereas in another you are perfect. Show her how SHE is imperfect in some areas and perfect in some.
Megan is weak.
It is your job to be there for her...
I truly hope your relationship works out well.:)
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OK I have this "friend". Really she used to be my best friend, then I went away for the summer and she really started irritating me by talking about all these hot guys she's saying and how they all hit on her and how when I come back I get the less hotter one because she saw them first. WTF is that?! Do any of your friends do this? And plus, I KNOW for a fact that all of them do not hit on her because 1) She's honestly not that attractive. I'm prettier than her, and I don't really think I'm all that pretty anyway. 2) Whenever we went out together, which was quite alot, nobody ever hit on her. She'd always approach the guys she knew first.
Well anyway, back to what I was originally saying...over the summer things got different. After I got back things were not the same between her, me, and our other mutual friend. The mutual friend and I would still get online and call each other and hang out and stuff. But the main girl barely wanted anything to do with us. The one thing that set me off was one day we were all supposed to go to Ryan's (a steakhouse) which is 30 minutes away but this "friend" called and bailed on me (telling me she had a headache and didn't want to drive) like she always ALWAYS used to but I always took it from her. So I was pissed and asked my other friend to go hang out so we went to Wal-Mart and guess who pulled up right as we were walking home?
Yup you guessed it. So the other friend asked for a ride and the "friend" looked kinda irritated then hesitated. Since then I haven't spoken to her till a few days ago. Today she was suposed to take me to pick up my check from Subway, but she didn't. I called twice, left a message on her phone and on AIM but nothing. I knew she wasn't going to come which is why I made plans for someone else to take me.
My problem is, she wants me to go to her birthday party on Friday and since she's been such a terrible friend to me and done nothing but made me feel ugly when we were out together (by saying the hot guys were looking at her not me), and never keeping promises or plans...should I go? I mean normally I'm such a loyal person but I think she's just gone overboard with this. I'm sick of it.
I'm so sorry this was long...I just thought you all should nkow the whole story. Thanks for answering and I will rate you a 5 if you even put one sentence just because you read all this! :D (link)
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haha..It's aiite that its lengthy..I've seen LONGER!
Anyway, I know exactly what you are talking about because I used to have a friend like that.
People who acts this way are not neccessarily bad ones at heart. Not that I am accusing you, but just to tell you your friend just might be acting the way she does to hide her jealousy and insecurity.
Maybe during the summer you have been asked out?
Or perhaps while you were gone, she was irritated by how she was never asked out/barely asked out.
It is very likely that she just wants to show herself that she is likeable girl too, simply out of jealousy and insecurity.
You might have to watch out for her, because I know that, out of desperation for true love, these kind of people often are willing to do anything, including drugs,sex and alcohol, just so they could be "loved".
Now, I'm not saying she will. But I've seen many of my friends get out of control like that, and I want you to know this before it happened if it does.
My advice of solution?
Go to her party.
I KNOW it WILL be irritating for you, but if you do not go, then she will feel like she was stabbed on the back.
"First she takes all the hot guys, and NOW THIS?!"
Also, if she feels as much insecure about her looks, take her to shopping.
Bring some one your fashion-know-it-all friends along so she could get all the hottest trends of clothes and make-up.
This "sharing of beauty" will lessen her jealousy.
I truly hope my advice helped you
I also thank you for reading my equally lengthy answer :)
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