|
| |
Okay. I'm fifteen. I have trouble making friends, I've always been around adults so I adjust and talk better with them rather than people my age.
I have four (people who I would consider) friends... N, B, L, A.
N- Seventeen, different school,can talk to on facebook (rarely) only see at church.
B- had a falling out. Has depression and wont come over anymore despite my massive attempts to help.
L- Different school, always busy, strict parents.
R- only see at church, except when r comes over. (once in a blue moon.)
Me: Major social anxiety, suffer from panic attacks.. And I'm going into college next year.
How can I make friends, and get out of the house, and overall just be happy? I need help. (link)
| |
Congrats on getting into college next year, hope that goes well for you. I dealt with quite a bit of social anxiety growing up, and my best advice is to never be afraid to be yourself, even if your feelings, dreams, etc. differ from the norm. Focus less on friends and focus on developing yourself through hobbies. Unfortunately, people can be fickle, but if you develop a hobby or interest you love, that can translate into an enjoyable career, and you can feel proud of yourself for what you have accomplished. Having 1,000 "friends" on facebook isn't an accomplishment, so don't compare yourself to others and their cliques, if you've ever felt as I had around that age. Live life, go to museums, go to concerts, go for a run in a park, paint flowers, whatever makes you happy. You don't have to wait for someone to invite you out to go do things. You can enrich yourself even if you're alone, even if you're the only one with a particular interest. Good luck
|
hi! ok so i need ur help!
my friend eli, her birthdays in a few weeks.
march 8th to be exact.
and i wnna get her a present. but like, a gag gift.
shes like, very sweet.
and shes so silly!!
she always wears black. black sweatshirts, black eyeliner. black converse.
shes like the anti-pink.
and im like the anti-black. haha
she hates barbies/girly girls.
she wore Black on valentines day!!
u cant do that. anyway, any ideas on what to get her? somthing thatll make her laugh. but somthing she can use. not somthing that will end up in the back of her closet.
thanx so much!!
xoxo,
L (link)
| |
maybe get her a shirt that says "black is the new pink" and then get one for yourself that says "pink is the new black" and wear it to school. that would be kinda funny i guess =]
|
|
ok i have a boyfriend who i LOVE ! last year i met this guy who was new to school and talked to him a few times in class. recently, ive gotten back in touch with him and weve been talkin on myspace. i hardly ever see him in school anymore but i did today. i had this weird attraction to him. i dont think hes that hott, hes not ugly but idk just not my style in guys looks-wise, but hes cool! how can i get over the weird attraction? hes one of my friends so i dont wanna avoid him. and dont say 'oh just think of your boyfriend instead and how much you love him!', because its not that im falling for this guy, im just attracted. but it feels weird. any advice?? (link)
| |
ok the previous answerer was was a retard who just wastes his time screwing with Q's. its may feel weird but its not quite. thats happened to me several times. i'd just be attracted to this guy who wasn't like totally hott but.. there was something about them i loved that i couldn't explain. and i find that sexy. lol maybe you just have the same thing.
|
i'm 14/f okay so for our school's annual halloween dance the theme is "kid's at heart" like something from our childhood like the 90s. Everyone usually dresses up with their frends & a while ago me & my friends thought we should do rugrats, but now my friendds don't want to do that & we keep arguing over what to do. They keep suggesting things like pokemon or lion king but i dont want to dress up in a weird suit lik that. Does anyone have any other ideas we could do? Thers 4/5 of us
thanks (link)
| |
tellitubbies, spice girls, barbies (or beauty pageant queens), and fanta girls are the best girly group costumes IMO. also the girly wizard of oz costumes, and alice in wonderland costumes.
|
|
i met this girl through family friends and she's new to my school. we talk online(aim) and she's a grade younger than me. i want to become friends with her because i recently lost all my friends except one or two so i'd really like a new friend that doesn't know my drama. the thing is that i never see her in school except for one day where we have classes right next to each other but she goes one way and i go the other way and i think she takes the bus home so there isn't much time to hang out after school and i have practice anyways. she's rarely online or she's never online when im online. how can i make this work? (link)
|
1. get her cell number (or phone if she doesn't have a cell) so you could call her anytime.
2. see her when you aren't busy like in the weekends and such. like ask her during school to maybe meet up sometime to hang out, or whenever you catch her online (or just call her home/cell phone) ask.
trust me its not hard to make friends with new kids.. since yeah, they won't know your background and they want to make lots of new friends too.
|
|
ok i have 2 good friends and one is named julie and one is named chelsea well julie and chelsea hate each other and they recently wanted to fight each other so there parents and the school had to get involved, but thats not the problem, so julie told me if me and julie want to be friends then i have to choose either julie or chelsea and i know thats not right and im not gonna be picking friends. i dont have a lot of friends to begin with so now i want to make new friends, but im kinda shy and i dont know what to talk to anyone about, so how can i make new friends. (link)
|
well first of all, i dont think you have to give up both friends. i mean, you arent part of their little feud, so if you like them both as friends and want to continue like being friends with both of them, then do that anyway. im sure that if like chelsea found out that you were still friends with Julie, she'll still be your friend if she values your friendship. and vice versa. if they get pissed about it and dont wanna be friends with you, then they probably arent the best friends for you since they dont value you for your differences. i mean, usually when a girl hates another girl they'll tell their friends not to associate them with the person. its pretty stupid, but i guess girls (and boys too i guess.. mostly with girls though) find power in numbers. but if you dont want to be friends with one of them then go for it. same if you dont want to be friends with them at all. just break it to them gently, dont just like totally ignore them or they might get mad at you too. but if i were you, i'd just be friends with both and see what happens.
im kinda shy too about making new friends, especially around now that the school year is almost over and people generally already have friends. but just talk about the things you like.. like hobbies, sports, etc. maybe if you liked soccer and found someone else that liked soccer, you could talk to them about the sport and then like ask about other things they like, ask about their family and etc, and remember to smile and act interested in talking to them! haha.. but dont be something your not.. people will eventually tell your faking. even if you act like a complete dork in reality, just act that way and people will love you for being yourself.. haha i know it sounds crazy but i know people like that and i think its cool that they're so comfy about being themself. also remember to have good manners and stuff like that. ok if you cant do that then like in the hallway like find someone that you'd like to get to know.. say like "hey, whats up?" or "any plans for the weekend?" if you cant do that, maybe if they're a girl like compliment their outfit or wave and give them a smile when you see them. after doing that, like you already got some extra points because you made that person feel better about themself and they'll wanna be around you more.
this was really long.. haha well i hope i answered your question! ask if you need any other help!
|
my friend [let's call her bert] has, like, a serious problem. or so she says. i think its just because she has practically no self control and can't restrain herself. but, anyway, when she has a "good" book, she's ALWAYS reading. now, first thing you might think is: "well, good for her, most kids aren't reading ENOUGH." but when i say always i mean ALWAYS.
last week really pissed me off 'cause bert, i, and another friend [lets call her adam] were on a field trip and we stuck together the whole time. except instead of talking to us like friends should do bert read and read and read. and when we tried to tell her to restrain herself 'cause she was ignoring us, she said she didn't care [but she doesn't say that if she's not reading].
another thing, this might just be because i'm on my period, but bert is seriously pissing me off. she reads during school when she should be paying attention [even more so because her grades aren't great] and then who does she ask for help? me. who's actually doing my work 'cause i actually get it 'cause i was actually paying attention.
it wasn't like this before, it started this [school] year. & i don't know what to do. (link)
|
ok im just going to say what i would do.. not necesarily meaning its the best idea, but im going on what i think is best. um, you dont have to be friends with this girl, and dont waste so much time worrying about her. i once felt kinda the same way about some guy in my class that got picked on alot. i used to constantly worry about him, and i wouldnt be mean to him like the other kids would, but not really friendly either. i wanted to try and talk to the teacher to set up stuff so other kids wouldnt make fun of him then im just like thats his life.. and as long as im not mean to him, atleast im doing something.. and i cant really change what this guy is doing, because hes REALLY weird, but whatever. its kinda the same with this girl. just do the best you can and get along with your life. since she's pissing you off, tell her that you want to concentrate during class, and maybe offer to help tutor her on the weekends. its not that bad because you are actually studying yourself when you tutor someone, and it shows how much of the subject you really know. so that girl learns as you learn too. and maybe you can even charge her for the tutoring and , BAM, you've got a job. it doesnt even have to be that often. maybe like once or twice a week? depends on your schedule. if she keeps bothering with asking you questions during class, at the end of the class ask your teacher to change your seat because she's bothering you. if your teacher like changes seats at the end of the marking period like some teachers do, ask him to do it then, so it wont be that obvious that you dont wanna sit near hear, and you wont hurt her feelings.
and, did you ever ask her on the books she was reading? like what was her personality when she talked about them? some people just love books like that. i used to be a little bit like that, reading during lunch, occasionally during class, and in the hallways, then i just stopped because i could always read at home when i wasn't busy, or when the teacher assigns you to read a freechoice book. you cant force her to be social.. amazingly i have another similar story. theres this girl that draws ALL THE TIME. probably as much as you say this girl is reading. its freaky. and its all like anime/manga characters, and she reads alot of manga and watched alot of anime too. she has like no friends, and i over read her journal (we write journals during literacy) and the topic was like the funnest thing you did with your best friend, and her best friend was a comic book character! oh my god! crazy, huh. i tried to get to know her.. but shes just annoying so thats the end. dont get too worked up about it, when they wanna break out of their shell and be more social, they will. otherwise, let them continue in their quirky ways.
or i dunno.. talk to a school counselor that your concerned about her, and maybe she'll take it from there, and talk to Bert about her situation. i mean she really could be happy the way she was, like that crazy artist girl i told you about. i have no idea why.. i guess people have diff values. but you dont have to solve this girl out.. just focus on your life! have fun with the friends you wanna hang out with! you dont have to make big sacrifices like that, well unless you wanna break her out of her shell, but dont do it until she wants to do it, otherwise thats called PEER PRESSURE! haha
dee
|
Before I even start, I'd like to say that I'm seventeen, I think this situation is stupid, but I'm still at a loss and I need help.
I have quite a few best friends. Two of them told me this year that they are lesbians and they are together. I already knew this - and am totally okay with it. But now that they've come out to me about it, and even before them, the only conversation I get out of them is about their sex life. We never do anything together anymore - and I basically feel as if they don't need me.
I expressed how I felt on my xanga - my friend read it, as she would anything else, and then sent me a message on myspace asking me if it was about her and her girlfriend and I told her the truth - she wanted to know "what the hell" they did and I told her that it wasn't a big deal and that I was just feeling down.
Well - now she's arguing with me and making a big deal out of nothing. She takes EVERYTHING way too personally - but uses me as her vent and doormat, as if I'm inhuman and don't have any emotions.
What do I do? (link)
|
if i were you, i'd feel pretty overwhelmed. if you wanna take this advice, then do so (or dont take it) because this is what I would do.
- get new friends who you are comfortable to be around and stuff.
ofcourse it would be awkward to be around your friends when they are a couple now.. well if your not comfy with them, maybe spend less time with them, then if you still feel like they're your friends and you dont wanna abandom them. you dont have to waste your life feeling not on the top of the world, so you can hang out with some people you used to have great times with. i dont think theres really a way to solve it.. since they are a couple now and things are diff.
|
|
